


Sunny Side Up

by QueenOfTheMerryMen



Series: Sunny Side Up verse [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Maleficent Friendship, F/M, Hood-Mills Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 61,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13820208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfTheMerryMen/pseuds/QueenOfTheMerryMen
Summary: When Robin Locksely, a small town firefighter, asks his best friend, Regina Mills, the town prosecutor, for her eggs she assumes he's talking about breakfast food, turns out that's not exactly what he has in mind. Robin wants to have a child and is hoping to use her DNA to make it a reality.





	1. Chapter 1

It was supposed to be an average Wednesday morning in Storybrooke, Maine.

It was a quarter before eight and shop signs were flipping from “closed” to “open”. The kids were huddled in packs, dressed identically in their school uniforms as they waited on the street corner for the bus to arrive. Nearly every table in Granny’s Diner was occupied as the town’s workforce tried to squeeze in a quick breakfast. Even from the furthest corner table the sound of sizzling bacon and the smell of fried eggs filled the air as waitresses sped from table to table in their red shorts, serving their patrons with friendly smiles in hopes of a better tip, like they always did.  

Regina Mills loved Wednesdays.

It was the one day of the week she would give up her daily routine of “coffee for breakfast” and actually have something substantial to eat. But of course it wasn’t just the food that made Wednesday’s special. It was her best friend Robin. Every Wednesday they would meet up in the third booth from the door and catch up over breakfast. It was a tradition they’d maintained ever since she’d moved back to town. Five years and they’d never missed a Wednesday. And of course this week would be no exception.

Dressed in her royal purple blouse and pencil skirt, she entered Granny’s just as she usually did, with her eyes on the phone in her hand. If one word could be used to describe Regina Mills most would claim “preoccupied” as the most fitting. After double-checking her calendar for the day she finally looked toward their booth, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw Robin already seated there, his blonde hair still a bit tussled from sleep and his Storybrooke Fire Dept. tee peeking out between the edges of his forest green leather jacket. Honestly that should have been her first tip off that something was amiss. Robin never arrived to breakfast before her. Between her need to be perpetually early and his almost willful inability to keep a schedule it was practically a rule that she arrived first. Yet, there he was sitting in their usual booth awaiting her appearance.

He looked up at her with a smile as she walked over to him. “Good morning,” he greeted, his old British accent peeking through.

“Good morning to you,” she replied, sliding into the seat across from him.

He gestured to the coffee mug in front of her. “I ordered your coffee for you.”

She hummed appreciatively as she picked up the oversized mug and took a sip. Dark roasted coffee with vanilla creamer, two sugars and a healthy dollop of whipped cream on top. Same thing she ordered every day. She wiped a smidge of cream from her upper lip before nodding at Robin gratefully. “Oh you know me so well and I love you for it.”

He smiled at her before taking a sip from his own coffee. Black with just two sugars. “Well I thought it might be nice if I ordered for you just this once.”

She raised an eyebrow at him curiously. “Early and helpful? Makes me feel like I should be worried.”

“Not at all,” he said, quickly shaking his head. “I just thought you could use the pick-me up since dinner with your family is coming up.”

She scoffed as she set down her coffee with a thud. “Robin you know the rules. Their names are not to be mentioned at this table!”

“I didn’t mention their names, I merely alluded to them,” he argued, before taking another sip of his coffee. “But since you’re so determined to change the subject, how’s work going?”

She rolled her eyes with a groan. “If we’re going to get into that debacle I’m gonna need food first.”

She signaled for a waitress to come take their breakfast orders. They had the same thing every week. Robin always chose to indulge in a Belgian waffle with whipped cream and a side of bacon while she preferred a small bowl of cinnamon oatmeal with a fruit cup and two eggs on the side, sunny side up of course. As they ate together she filled Robin in on some of her more interesting cases from work. Just because Storybrooke was small didn’t mean it was lacking in creeps who preferred to ignore the law. As a town prosecutor it was her job to make sure that those creeps spent as much time behind bars as possible. Her time in court usually awarded her with stories juicy enough to keep Robin’s attention but that didn’t seem to be the case today.

The more time she spent talking the more she noticed he seemed to be out of sorts. Resting his chin atop his folded hands, his blue eyes remained focused on her but his mind was certainly drifting elsewhere. After her third attempt redirecting his attention she set down her fork and narrowed her eyes at him. “Robin… what’s going on with you?”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “Hmm?”

“You’re acting strange,” she pointed out. “I feel like you’ve barely heard a word I’ve said.”

“I’m listening!” he insisted. “I just… have a lot on my mind.”

Regina took another bite of oatmeal as she raised her eyebrow at him. “Like what? Things at the firehouse?”

“No,” he said quickly shaking his head. “Things at work are fine. I’m just… working up the courage to ask a really big favor.”

“From me?” she asked curiously.

He pressed his lips together nervously before nodding his head anxiously. “Yes actually.”

“Really?” she replied, an intrigued smile growing on her face. Robin so rarely asked her for favors, when he did it was always unexpected. She shrugged her shoulders. “What do you need?”

Robin looked at her with uncertainty in his eyes. His knees began to bounce under the table as he grew more nervous. “Well I’m not exactly sure how to ask it.”

She chuckled at him before checking her wristwatch. 8:30. “Well you better figure it out because I have to be at work in half an hour.”

 “Can I have your eggs?” he suddenly blurted out. As soon as the words left his mouth, his eyes went wide and his mouth fell open, as if he was shocked by his own question.

A line appeared between Regina’s eyebrows as she knitted them in confusion, caught off guard by the extreme reaction her friend had to his own mundane request. With hesitation, she slowly slid her unfinished plate in his direction while tilting her head at him curiously. “I suppose so, I’m not really in the mood to finish them anyway.”

His gaze dropped down to the plate before he let out a painful sigh and scrunched his eyes closed in frustration. “That’s not what I meant. I mean…. I would like to have a child. And I would like to use… your eggs to have one.”

It took a second before the gravity of his question hit her. He wanted to use her eggs… to have a child. He wanted to have a child…with her eggs. She blinked once. Then twice. Then three times before her mouth dropped open in shock.

Suddenly it wasn’t just an average Wednesday anymore.

As she tried to swallow her own shock, she saw Robin lean forward in his seat, the anxiety clear in his eyes as he whispered, “I know. It’s a lot to ask over breakfast.”

Even as she forced a breathy chuckle from her throat, her hand subconsciously slid from the surface of the table down to her stomach. He wanted her eggs. Damn right it was a lot to ask. How was she supposed to respond to such a request? Well, obviously a “yes” or “no” would be preferable but she couldn’t say either of those words even if she tried. Instead she focused on a word just as simple yet half as loaded.

“When?”

He scrunched his eyebrows at her. “When would I need them?”

She immediately shook her head at him. “No, no, no,” she stammered, before taking a breath to calm herself. “I mean when did you decide all of this? Robin we talk nearly every day. You’ve never once mentioned wanting a child.”

He hesitated before blowing out a guilty breath. “Honestly… I’ve been considering this for a while.”

“Define a while,” she ordered briskly.

“A few months,” he admitted.

 _A few months?_ Regina brushed her hair behind her ear as she digested just how long Robin had desired her DNA. “Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”

“Because I wasn’t sure,” he answered. “I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t rushing into things because of what happened with Marian. I knew that was what everyone would say and I wanted to be certain that wasn’t true before opinions were thrown at me from all sides.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “And you’re certain now?”

“Yes!” he responded earnestly. He sighed as he leaned back in his seat. “Look I’ve accepted that I’m never going to be a husband again… but that doesn’t mean I can’t be a father. I just need… help to become one.”

 _My help_ , she added silently. “Well… are you sure this is the way you’d like to do it?” she asked. “Robin there are other, less complicated ways of becoming a parent.”

“And I’ve looked into them,” he stressed. “I checked with the adoption agencies and fostering websites but I’m a single man who gets paid to walk into dangerous situations for a living. Even if I did, by some stroke of luck, get on a list it could take years before someone decides to give me a child. You know that.”

She did. She knew what it was like spending years on the adoption list, meeting with prospective birth parents, hoping one of them would see your value and deem you worthy enough to care for the most precious thing one person could ever give to another. And of course she knew the misery that came with waiting for a day that seemed like it would never come, and what it felt like to grow more sure that it wouldn’t.

“I don’t want to wait any longer to start a family,” continued Robin. “And since a relationship isn’t exactly in the cards for me using a surrogate is my best option.”

“A surrogate?” she questioned.

“Well yes,” he said with a nod. “I mean… carrying the child isn’t something I’d want to ask of you. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you in that way.”

 _Nice to know my body is where he draws the line_ , she thought wryly.

Her fingers tapped against the table as the questions continued to flood into her head. She heard her mother’s voice in the back of her head – _fidgeting is a sign of weakness dear_ – and she forced her hand to go still. Removing her other hand from her stomach and lacing her fingers together on the table, she tried to exude a sense of calm as she thought over Robin’s request. 

A baby. He wanted a baby with her DNA. One that he would raise… with her? Without her? What would this baby mean for her? Would she be their… mother? Their aunt by choice?

She licked her lips nervously before asking, “What would I be to this baby?”

“Whatever you like,” he answered softly. “Your involvement can be whatever you’d like it to be.” 

 _So he doesn’t know either_ , she thought sullenly. _Perfect._

It was so much to ask and he wanted it so badly. She could see it in the way he was staring her down, the pleading in his eyes almost auditory as the weight of his gaze dropped on her like an iron cage, trapping her in her seat. He wanted an answer. But she wasn’t ready to give him one.

Instead her eyes flickered down to her wristwatch for a hasty escape.

“I… I have to go to work,” she said, briskly standing to her feet. She practically shook the table in her rush to get away from the booth.

Robin watched with wide eyes as she looped her purse onto shoulder, before standing himself and reaching for her hand. The touch of his fingers against her wrist stopped her in her tracks, her dark hair whipped over her shoulder as she turned to face him.  

“I don’t need an answer today,” he said gently. “I just need to know if you’ll think about it.”

“I will,” she promised. She gave his fingers a squeeze before slipping her hand from his and heading out the door, a clear grimace on her face.  

XXXXX

Normally walking into city hall would fill Regina with a sense of calm. This building, and the courthouse down the street from it, were like old stomping grounds for her. She’d been coming here ever since she was a child, following her father around, playing on the floor of his office while he ran the town from his desk. As a town prosecutor she now had a desk of her own just three floors below where her father once sat as the town’s mayor. Sometimes it irked her that her mother now occupied that seat above her head but that didn’t stop city hall from feeling like a second home. No matter what was happening outside those thick wooden doors, as soon her heels clacked against the marble tiles beneath her feet Regina always knew exactly where she stood.

Well… usually.

Today those marble floors might as well have been splintered planks on a rope bridge. Her breakfast with Robin – and what he’d asked of her – had thrown her completely off balance. Even as she rode in the elevator to her office she felt like she couldn’t get her head on straight. All she could think of was Robin and babies and… eggs. She couldn’t believe she’d slid her eggs to him like an idiot! She tried to push the thoughts out of her head as the doors to the elevator opened to her floor.

As a town prosecutor Regina had her own office but she shared the floor with the town’s two other prosecutors and the office assistants. As she stepped out onto the floor she could see she was one of the first to arrive that morning, only beaten out by her former mentor Gold and her own personal assistant Rose.

Tiny, blonde and efficient, Regina knew she couldn’t ask for a better assistant. Rose was smart, enthusiastic and always determined to do the best she could no matter how small the task seemed. As Regina walked past her desk on the way to her office, Rose chirped “Good morning!” and automatically held out three different colored Post-It Notes for her to pick up. Regina let out a soft groan at the sight of them.

“I suppose it’s too much to hope that those are just thank you notes for my hard work,” she sullenly grumbled.

Rose grimaced as she picked up on Regina’s mood. “Sorry boss. Only people looking for you to work more of your magic.”

Her barely concealed compliment brought a small smile to Regina’s lips, breaking through the fog of her confusing morning. Another of Rose’s irreplaceable talents? The ability to crack Regina’s bad moods. At least temporarily.

She took the Post-It notes from her with a sigh. Rose had a color coded systems for her Post-Its. Well, Rose had a color-coded system for everything but her Post-Its code was the only one Regina really understood. Blue stood for messages from police, yellow from coworkers, purple from the witnesses and informants, and red from family. Regina felt a pin slide in her skull when she noticed a red Post-It note in the mix. Probably her mother calling to confirm their dinner for tonight. Her mood darkened at the thought of it.

She turned to Rose. “Do me a favor and hold all my calls for the next hour, please.”

“You got it,” replied Rose with a firm nod of her head.

Once she acquiesced Regina disappeared behind her office doors, settled behind her desk and let out a deep sigh. Not even ten seconds in her office and already she wanted to go home.

She pulled out a case file from one of the drawers in her desk and began to look through it in order to prepare for court that afternoon. A DUI that ended with involuntary manslaughter. Pretty straightforward case but over prepared had always been her preferred state of mind. She flipped through the pages, ran her eyes over the words but nothing stuck. It was all blown away by the question that was already taking up the space in her brain.

Was she willing to let Robin use her eggs?

Yet again, her hand subconsciously slid down to her stomach. Even forgetting all the emotional complications and strings that came along with a such request, she still balked at the idea of the physical requirements. It’d been a while since she’d drowned herself in the study of fertility treatments. Even the details that she remembered were a little hazy. After a brief moment of hesitation, she tossed her file aside and turned her attention to her work computer. Pulling up Google, she typed into the search bar: egg retrieval; fertility.

Just like she remembered it was an organized mess of hormones, needles and doctors, but all things considered it appeared to be a fairly simple procedure. The whole process took a little under a month, on her end anyway. Once Robin picked a surrogate, she would take the appropriate hormones for a while to sync up their cycles, her eggs would be retrieved, fertilized, then implanted a few days later. And with fate’s blessing Robin’s baby would born a few months later.

Robin’s baby. Not hers. Or would it be?

Trying to ignore the emotional implications she attempted to lose herself in the medical ones. She typed in search after search, going through the various procedures, looking up possible doctors and side effects. But no matter what she discovered it wouldn’t take away the one irrefutable fact she already knew.

She could do it.

Regina made a point of having regular check-ups and that included her gynecologist. As far as she knew she was perfectly capable of what her best friend had asked. The choice was entirely hers and the fact that she had no physical reason to say no weighed heavily on her. Even if it hadn’t been his intention she couldn’t help but feel like Robin had placed a decent chunk of his future into her hands. She couldn’t help but resent him for it just a little bit. Really, what the hell was he thinking asking her to do this?

_Bang!_

Startled by the sudden noise, Regina looked up in time to see her office door bounce against her wall. The source of its harsh rebound? A five-foot-nine (six-foot-two in heels), blonde force of nature known as Mallory Smoak. She was currently steaming as she stalked over to Regina’s desk, her blonde hair bouncing against her shoulder as she stared down at Regina with an incredulous look on her face. “What the hell are you still doing in here?”

Regina just stared up at her wide-eyed and open-mouthed. “What?” she dumbly replied.

Rose trotted her way into the office now, an apologetic look on her face. “I’m sorry Miss Mills. She pushed past me.”

Rolling her eyes Mal tossed a belittling look over her shoulder at the secretary and spat, “Fly away little fairy. This is a conversation for adults.”

Rose glared at her and Regina finally broke out of her stupor. Giving her head a little shake she sent Rose back to her desk before turning her attention to Mallory. “What do want Mal and why are you storming in here for it?”

Mal narrowed her eyes at her before sarcastically responding, “Well Regina… do you happen to remember a little case we pulled together last month against Craig Samuels? You know the dirt bag who killed his own wife?”

Regina rolled her eyes. Of course she remembered that case. It was hideous. An abusive drunk named Craig Samuels had tormented his wife, Dina, and step children for years. Verbally and physically abused her, until one night and one miscalculated shove later he finally killed her. Head banged against the kitchen counter and she was dead on impact. One of her daughters had made the call from the under her bed where she hid with her younger brother and sister. By the time the police got there Craig was already digging a shallow grave in his backyard. Case had landed on Regina’s desk and she and Mal had worked late nights making sure that the evidence and arguments they had was air tight enough to land murder one with no problems. They were due to make their argument in court in a week.

“Yes I remember the case Mal,” said Regina.

“Well,” said Mal leaning to place her hands on the edge of Regina’s desk, “then I expect you’ll be just tickled to know that right now, at this very moment, Gold is in Blue’s office talking over that very case in relation to one of his own.”

Regina’s hands instantly curled into fists. “He isn’t,” she growled.

Mal nodded her head matter-of-factly. “He is. So why is your ass still in that chair?”

A guttural sound erupted from the back of Regina’s throat as she rose from her seat. “Son of a bitch!” she cursed under her breath.

She stalked out of her office, fire burning in her eyes as she made her way across her the floor to the District Attorney’s office. Two hours had passed since she first came in and the floor was buzzing now, full of assistants and aides working on their cases. They all fled from her path as she made her way past them.

She reached Blue’s office in less than a minute. Not even bothering to check in with her secretary she burst through the office doors to find Blue and Gold sitting across from each other, clearly deep in conversation. At Regina entrance the district attorney looked up with an annoyed sigh. “Regina. I was just about to call you.”

“Oh I bet you were,” Regina coolly replied.

Elaine “Blue” Mackenzie, nicknamed for her penchant for the color, had worked in the district attorney’s office for nearly fifteen years. A short woman with brown hair and beady, judgmental eyes she was appointed as district attorney by the mayor six years ago. She was cold and condescending but also efficient and strict. She believed in the law and expected it to be followed to the letter. Her rigidness concerning the law had earned her Regina’s respect, but her callous attitude toward victims had also earned her contempt.

“Heard you both were talking about my case,” said Regina shutting the door behind her. “Thought I’d stop by and listen in on the chatter.”

Blue leaned back in her seat and shared a look with Gold whose face was a mixture of smug and impassive.

“Well, you were right,” sighed Blue. “We were discussing your case and the defendant.”

Regina let out a light scoff and turned her attention to Gold. “Don’t tell me you want him for one your backhanded deals, Robert.”

Robert Gold was a smug son of a bitch and he didn’t care who knew it. Hardly an inch over 5’7’’ he somehow managed to look down on every one that stepped into his path and that included Regina. When she’d first arrived on the job she’d admired him. He was a confident lawyer with a stellar record of conviction. But that was before she knew what he really was. A deal maker. Constantly trading confessions and information for shortened sentences, Gold cared more about his conviction rate than he did about justice. And now he was threatening her case just to get another notch on his belt.

Not even looking her in the eye Gold lazily brushed a piece of lint off the sleeve of his expensive suit. “Turns out your murderer knows my drug supplier.”

“Of course he does. He’s a drug dealer,” she gritted out between her teeth. “But that’s hardly the worst of his crimes now.”

“I’ve talked to the police,” Blue stated calmly. “They’ve been building a case against the supplier for months. If he’s put behind bars it could collapse the meth scene that’s growing these past few years.”

“And let me guess. My defendant is the only one willing to talk,” she said incredulously. She shook her head in disbelief. “That man killed his wife with her three children in the next room. He’s a murder.”

“The argument isn’t whether or not he’s a murderer,” said Gold. “It’s whether or not he’s useful. And from what I gathered during my joint interrogation with the police he is.”

“Joint interrogation?” she spat. “Who the hell gave you the right to interview my case’s defendant?”

“I did,” said Blue, staring her down. “Gold and the officers he worked with came to me with their suspicion that Samuels held vital information. I gave the go ahead.”

Regina narrowed her eyes and stepped further into the room. “Without consulting me first?”

“I wasn’t aware I was required to,” Blue replied coldly. She stood to her feet, bringing herself eye to eye with Regina. “Don’t forget I am still your superior Miss Mills. I don’t need your permission on how I run this department. Even if your mother occupies the seat above my head.”

Regina clenched her jaw and tried to hold in the growl threatening to escape her throat. It was commonly held belief around the department that Regina had only acquired her position since her mother was the mayor. Regina loathed to admit it but the rumors did hold a margin of truth. It wasn’t as if she’d asked for the job but when she’d moved back to town her mother had pressured her to take a position with the city. She’d wanted a political family dynasty but Regina hadn’t been so keen on the idea. She’d resisted for a year but her mother had always been a hard person to say no too. Especially for her daughters. So she’d accepted the job as town prosecutor. And Blue had always resented her for it. When the Mayor asks you to give her daughter a job you can hardly say no and to Blue Regina had been a lost puppy she’d been forced to take in. Her contempt had lessened when she discovered that Regina was more than capable at her job but it had never completely disappeared. Not that Regina cared. As far as she was concerned the feeling was mutual and she was perfectly fine keeping it that way.

“Now you have done excellent work on this murder case,” conceded Blue. “But that doesn’t mean I can ignore your defendant’s importance in Gold’s vice work.”

“So what?” said Regina, sarcastically shrugging her shoulders. “Samuels blabs about a few of his friends and we let him off scot free for the murder of his wife.”

“No one is saying he’s getting off scot free,” chimed in Gold from his seat.

Regina sent a harsh glare in his direction. “Just what are you offering Robert?”

The older man paused and let out annoyed sigh. He knew what he was about to say wouldn’t go over well with his former protégé. “We reduce from felony murder to manslaughter. 10 years instead of 25.”

“That is bullshit!” growled Regina.

“And that language is inappropriate!” shot back Blue. Her brown eyes were harsher than stone as she glared from behind her desk. “Control yourself Mills.”

“It’s not as if we’re letting him walk,” argued Gold. “He’s still going to prison.”

“For less than half the time he’s due!” she angrily pointed out. She turned her eyes back to Blue. “You can’t seriously be considering this.”

“I already have,” replied Blue, lowering herself back into her navy colored swivel chair. She let out a regretful sigh. “We’re offering him the deal.”

To her surprise Blue actually looked remorseful about the decision that she’d made but it did nothing to cool the rage currently boiling under her skin. The sight of that poor women lying face down on her kitchen floor with her skull smashed in flashed behind her eyes. She clenched her jaw as she shook her head in her boss’ direction. “Unbelievable,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry Regina,” said Blue apologetically. “But sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the greater good.”

Regina’s eyes went cold as steel as she replied, “Tell that to her children.”

She stalked out of the office, slamming the door hard enough to convey her mood but not so hard as to attract the attention of the rest of the floor. The buzzing of keyboard typing, printing paper and office chatter surrounded her as she stood two feet away from Blue’s office, taking in deep breaths trying to settle the anger that was still bubbling up inside of her.

“Goddamnit,” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

She heard the door to Blue’s office open and her spine went stiff.

“Feeling a bit emotional dearie?” asked Gold. His tone was as smug as ever and so was the look in his eyes when she finally turned to face him.

“You had no right Gold,” she hissed.

“I had every right,” he calmly responded. “Seeing as how it is my job.”

“It’s your job to go behind my back on cases?”

“No but I do always find it to be the path of least resistance.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You should be ashamed of yourself,” she heatedly whispered.

He just let out an amused chuckle. “You and I both know that if I could still feel shame I wouldn’t be half as good at what I do.” He regarded her coolly, a hint of superiority shining in his eyes. “But you, Regina, you might consider adding a little mercy to your arsenal. It might just save your career.”

A dark smile pulled on Regina’s lips. “Mercy is for the forgiving Robert. And you and I both know that is not who I am.”

She gave him one last look of disdain before heading back to her office. She forced herself to hold her head high despite the weight of failure she felt pressing down on her shoulders. On her way in her office she stopped at Rose’s desk and told her to contact the social worker responsible for Dina’s children. She needed to set up a meeting with them, see if they were comfortable. If those kids weren’t going to get justice for their mother, the least they could receive was honesty from her about what happened and a comfortable foster placement until they found Dina’s extended family.

She entered her office to find Mal sitting behind her desk, scrolling on the computer with her mouse. The blonde looked away from the screen with expectant eyes when she saw Regina enter. She raised her eyebrows curiously. “Well?”

Regina plopped into the seat in front of her desk. “He took the case right from under us.”

Mal rolled her eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me! What was his excuse this time?”

As Regina relayed to her everything that happened in Blue’s office she saw Mal’s skin visibly redden with anger.

“Ten years?!”

“Ten. Years.” Regina gritted out the words with scorching resentment.

“God,” breathed Mal, leaning back in the seat with disappointment. “I swear sometimes I don’t know why I even do this job.”

“Because if we didn’t do it he’d be the only one left,” responded Regina. She leaned back in her seat and let out a deep sigh.

“True,” replied Mal. She eyed Regina curiously. “Want to talk about it?”

Regina arched an eyebrow at her. “There’s not really much to talk about. Gold snuck around my back and robbed another victim of justice. It’s not the first time its happened and I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

Mal shook her head. “No I didn’t mean about that. I meant about the fact that you’re looking up egg retrieval during your work hours.”

She turned the computer screen back to Regina revealing the fertility website she’d been searching before Mal had burst into her office. At the sight of it all of the anger drained from Regina’s body and was replaced by a swift wave of embarrassment. With all the distress over her case she’d actually managed to forget what she and Robin had discussed this morning. At least for a while. She felt her cheeks go red as she immediately stood up from her chair and shooed Mal away from her computer and out from behind her desk.

“That’s private,” she mumbled, quickly minimizing the website. She swallowed thickly as it disappeared from the screen. Even with it out of sight she could still feel Mal’s burning curiosity begin to fill the office.

“It’s not private if you leave it up on your computer screen for everyone to see,” Mal replied smoothly.

“That’s funny because I don’t seem to remember inviting you behind my desk,” Regina shot back.

Mal stood up and walked over toward the office door. For a moment Regina thought she might be leaving but to her dismay Mal only shut the door before choosing to occupy the seat Regina just vacated. Her pale blue eyes were unwavering as she stared down Regina from across her desk.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” she asked. “Or am I going to have to beat it out of you?”

While the look on her face was amused something in her tone implied that she was only half-joking. Regina rolled her eyes as she reluctantly sat down behind her desk. Crossing her arms over her chest, she let out an annoyed sigh and gave her head a little shake. “If you must know I am looking up the procedure because… I might be having it.”

Mal’s full lips began to pull into an intrigued smile. “Really? You’re thinking of having a baby?”

Regina nervously licked her lips. “Possibly. But it might not be… mine… in the traditional sense.”

Mal knitted her eyebrows together. “What are you saying exactly?”

“Well,” stalled Regina, “A friend has asked me to donate my eggs so they can have a baby.”

“A friend?” mused Mal. She paused biting her lower lip as her eyes glazed over in thought. After a second her face lit up. “Is it Robin? The firefighter?”

Regina openly gaped at her. “How the hell did you figure that out?”

Mal shrugged at her. “It wasn’t that hard, sweetie. You said a friend asked you and you only have three friends. Me, the firefighter and the librarian. I sure as hell didn’t ask you. Given her age and salary the bookworm also seems unlikely. That just leaves Robin, the firefighter.”

Regina just stared at her clearly impressed. “How are you not a cop?”

“The pay’s crappy and they wouldn’t allow me to wear heels over two inches,” Mal replied. She leaned forward in her seat, curiosity blazing in her eyes. “So… when did he ask?”

“This morning at breakfast,” Regina revealed. Realizing that Mal wouldn’t be leaving until her curiosity was satisfied Regina confessed everything that happened at Granny’s just a few hours before. She had to admit that it felt good to get it off her chest with someone she trusted. She’d known Mal for years, ever since high school. They’d lost touch when she’d left town to be with Daniel but they’d quickly reconnected upon her return. Mal was whip smart, fierce and highly opinionated. She was never one to withhold her thoughts and perhaps that was exactly what Regina needed right now.

When she finished recounting the details of her morning Mal had leaned back in her seat, one finger pressed to her temple, staring at her intently while the gears in her head worked overtime taking in all that she said. “Wow,” she breathed. “So he really wants this?”

“So badly,” sighed Regina. “I could see it in his eyes. He is certain this is what he wants.”

“And could you do it?” asked Mal. “Donate, I mean?”

Regina nodded her head. “Yeah. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to.”

“Really?” Mal drawled curiously. She leaned forward in her seat. “I always thought that you couldn’t.”

When Regina narrowed her eyes at her she continued on. “Well, in high school you were always talking about how much you wanted to start your own family as soon as possible but when you moved back to town after Daniel you still didn’t have any children. You two were married for so long I just figured…”

Mal trailed off letting her assumption go unspoken. A familiar ache swirled up in Regina’s gut as she took in her friend’s words.

“It wasn’t that _I_ couldn’t, it was more that _we_ couldn’t together,” explained Regina.

In a flash her mind sped through her fourth year of marriage with Daniel. Their excitement over finally starting a family had slowly but surely drained away as their lives became a repeated cycle of trying and failing, trying and failing month after month. By the end of the year there was still no baby and they’d decided to seek professional help. She remembered sitting in that frigid doctor’s office, shaking in her seat as she waited for him to tell her there was no possible way she could ever conceive a child only to be told that there was nothing wrong with her at all. In terms of their ability to conceive… Regina hadn’t been the problem.

“Daniel was… sterile,” she reluctantly revealed. Her eyes dropped down to her desk as she avoided Mal’s gaze. “We found out about a year before he died.”

She still remembered the look on the Daniel’s face when they found out. The shock and devastation in his blue eyes would forever be etched into her memory.

“Oh!” Mal’s voice was barely above a whisper. “So… you could still get pregnant?”

“Yes,” said Regina, “and as far as I can tell my eggs are still good so if I wanted to give them to Robin… I could.”

Mal’s studied her face. “And do you want to?”

Regina bit her lip and finally brought her eyes up to Mal’s. “I don’t know.”

Mal sighed. “Well… do you think Robin would make a good father?”

Regina retreated in her mind back to every time she’d ever seen Robin with a child. The smile he’d have; the patience he’d display. A wistful smile grew on her face as she remembered the excited light that shined in his eyes every time a baby was put into his arms.

“Robin would make an excellent father,” she softly answered.

“Okay,” drawled Mal. “So what’s holding you back from helping him?”

Regina gave her head a little shake. “I guess… I just don’t understand it. Why he’d want to do it this way? Through a surrogate? With my eggs? Really?” She sighed. “It just seems like it would be so complicated.”

“Building a family is always complicated,” Mal responded. She folded her arms across her chest before adding, “You know… I used a donor with Lily.”

Her admission caused Regina’s eyes to go wide. “Really?”

Lily was Mal’s nine-year-old daughter. Regina had only met her a handful of times in person but thanks to all the pictures in Mal’s office the little girl’s straight brown hair and sparkling green eyes were a familiar sight to her. She didn’t look much like her mother and Regina had always assumed that she’d inherited her coloring from her father, who Mal had summed up in two words: Not involved. Regina hadn’t wanted to push her old friend so she hadn’t asked about him. Instead she’d just assumed that Lily was the result of a passionate one night stand or a relationship gone sour.

Mal straightened up in her seat and nodded her head. “I was 26 years old, a year out of law school. Everyone around me was already pairing off and getting married, and as I went to wedding after wedding I just felt more like I wasn’t interested in that. I only started feeling a little jealous when all my old classmates started posting pics of their sonograms and newborns.” She gave her head a little shake and let out a soft chuckle. “I wanted the baby I just… didn’t want the partner. So I decided to go through with it on my own. Went down to sperm bank, picked out a pretty face with a decent IQ and had Lily by myself.”

The air in the room had grown thick as Mal told her tale. In Regina’s eyes her vision of Mal shifted slightly. She was still the same woman she’d been this morning but the light around her had changed. It was just a bit brighter than it was before.

Regina lightly drummed her fingers against her desk. “And you have no regrets?”

Mal’s chest heaved as she let out a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders. “No more than any other parent I suppose. Sometimes Lily will ask about him, bring home a family tree project or something like that and I’ll feel… a bit guilty that I don’t have more to give her in that area but… I couldn’t regret my choice if I tried. Lily is…perfect. She’s just everything.”

Mal’s eyes began to light up as she talked about her daughter. Regina knew that Mal wasn’t the sentimental type. There were few people that the blonde woman could say that she genuinely cared for but the overwhelming love she had for her little girl was always abundantly clear.

“I get it,” said Regina. “You wanted a child so did what you felt was necessary to have one. I understand that. And I get that Robin is only trying to do the same thing but…”

“But what?”

“But why me?” She finally voiced the question that had been plaguing her since breakfast. “If it was just about having a child he could’ve chosen anyone. He could’ve gone down to the fertility clinic and chosen a donor out of a binder like you did. Why did he have to come to me?”

Mal pursed her lips before shaking her head. “I can’t answer that for you, sweetie.”

Regina sent her an annoyed look. “Really? Of all the times we’ve talked you’re going to choose now to start withholding your speculation and conjecture?”

“Yes I am,” Mal firmly declared. “Like I said building a family is complicated and right now you and Robin are the only ones qualified to determine what the best decision is for both of you.”

Regina arched an eyebrow at her. “For both of us? Even if I’m just the donor?”

Mal rolled her eyes and scoffed at her. “Regina please. You can lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me. You’d never be comfortable just letting your DNA walk around this town without your guidance. If you do end up giving Robin your eggs that baby is going to be just as much yours as it is his and you know it.”

Regina opened her mouth but only a weak defensive squeak came out before she shut it again. She couldn’t refute Mal’s claims if she’d tried. It was true. The only way she’d be able to donate her eggs to Robin is if she knew she’d be fully involved with any child that came from them. She’d have to be their mother and nothing less.

Mal tilted her head as she saw Regina begin to retreat deep into her thoughts. “Would it really be so bad? Sharing a baby with Robin?”

“Mal you artificially inseminated yourself so you wouldn’t have to be attached to anyone,” Regina sharply pointed out. “Can you really blame me for having reservations against having a child with Robin? I mean… it’s not exactly what I pictured.”

And what had she pictured exactly? Regina’s picture of her future family had grown quite muddled over the past few years. For so long she’d dreamed of nothing short of the classic white picket fence. Father, mother, children. The American ideal. But that had changed with Daniel’s unexpected diagnosis. And of course she’d considered doing what Mal had done. Just going to the sperm bank and getting pregnant with the help of a donor. She and Daniel had talked about it extensively but in the end, despite his many assurances that he’d love any child that she gave birth to regardless of DNA, she’d only wanted to be pregnant with his child, not anyone else’s. If they couldn’t make a child of their own she’d rather them adopt one together. They’d barely been on the adoption list for a year when Daniel had been murdered. Shot down in the street for the 50 dollars and cell phone he carried in his pocket. She’d been devastated. The picture of her ideal family had been destroyed when she was forced to bury the father of her hypothetical children. Though the pain she’d felt over Daniel had left a hole in her heart she’d kept her name on the adoption list, hoping that one day she’d be given a child to fill it. That day had never come.

“I know it’s not what you pictured,” said Mal gently. “But very few people actually get that. I doubt this is how Robin imagined he’d be having his first child either.”

Regina had to admit that was true. Three years ago she’d have pegged him as top choice for the white picket fence she’d wanted so desperately for herself.

“All I’m saying is that maybe you should talk with him a little more and be open to the possibility that this might be the best way not just for him to become a father but for you to become a mom,” suggested Mal.

Her words were gentle but they dug into Regina like cactus pins, sharp and impossible to just brush off. She couldn’t ignore them but she wasn’t exactly ready to deal with them either.

Instead she turned her face back to her computer screen. “I have court this afternoon. I should get back to work.”

Mal gave her a searching look before standing from her seat and heading for the door. Just as her hand fell on the knob she turned back to give Regina one final look. “Can I just say one final thing?”

Regina let out an exasperated breath. “What Mal?”

A mischievous grin grew on her face. “With your eyes and his dimples that baby would be unstoppable.”

“Get out of my office,” ordered Regina, pointing at the door. She shook her head to herself as Mal walked out the door silently giggling as she went.

Once she heard the door to her office close she leaned back in her seat and took a deep breath. She really did feel better after talking to Mal and she had to admit that her friend had made some decent points. Building a family was complicated no matter how you chose to do it. It wasn’t as if she and Daniel hadn’t had their complications when they’d chosen to get married and even then she still counted it as one of the best decisions she’d ever made in her life. She turned her eyes to the picture of him that sat on her desk. The photo was at least ten years old now. Taken in the stables where they’d first met it was a candid picture of Daniel grooming a beautiful chestnut mare. You could only see Daniel’s profile but it was still her favorite picture of him. It showed his patience and gentle-nature. She stared at it wistfully as she ran her fingers over the frame. She’d wanted a family with him so badly… but that was never going to happen now. He’d been gone over five years and as her mother kept reminding her she certainly hadn’t gotten any younger during that time. She wanted to be a mom and she was tired of waiting for someone to come along and hand her child. She was ready for one now. But could she really do it like this? With Robin?

Her eyes turned to the photo on the opposite side of her desk. It was even older than the Daniel’s. Her and Robin sitting on swings at the park, the two of them barely older than eight, ice cream cones in their hands and matching grins on their face as they bared their teeth for the camera. Robin had been a part of her life for decades and even without blood he was one of the few people she really considered family. She loved him, not like she loved Daniel but she _did_ love him. And she wanted him to be happy. They were practically family already so why not make it official?

 _Because it’s more complicated than that and you know it_ , she reminded herself.

Even with all the pros and cons weighed out Regina did still have one final question. Why had Robin chosen her? Their friendship had always been sturdy and simple. Though they’d been close all through their lives, they’d never once crossed the barrier into romantic territory. (Except that one time that didn’t count.) Even if he did desperately want to be a father, why would he risk complicating their relationship by asking this of her?

The question buzzed in Regina’s head like a bee on speed. She leaned back in her chair, rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, and grumbled to herself, “I hate Wednesdays.”

XXXXXXXXXX

Across town Robin was having a similarly stressful morning. He’d ended up leaving the diner not long after Regina, his Belgian waffle practically untouched on his plate. Such an act had probably earned him Granny’s wrath the next time he saw her.

He clenched his jaw as he walked down the sidewalk past the town shops hoping to drive the events of the morning from his head. It was a futile battle. The look on Regina’s face kept replaying in his mind. The utter shock present in her whiskey eyes, the fall of her jaw and the raise of her eyebrows as he dumped an unprecedented emotional request into her lap. He felt the pace of his steps speed up as he mentally tried to run from the image that had plagued him ever since she’d walked away from their booth.

“So stupid,” he muttered to himself under his breath. And he was. He knew was. He had to be in order to ask her something that important in such a thoughtless, impulsive manner. Over breakfast? In public? No wonder she’d bolted. How could he have been so stupid! Of course he knew why. It was because he was impatient, just like he’d been all his life. Except this time his impatience might’ve cost him a life-long friendship. And a hypothetical child.

He let out a deep breath as he reached a sidewalk corner and waited for the flashing white stick figure that would tell him it was safe to cross the road. He was supposed to wait this morning. He hadn’t wanted to ask her over breakfast when he knew she had work and dinner with her family coming up. That had never been the plan. He was supposed to take her out to lunch this weekend and ask her then. Some place private, or at least less crowded than early morning Granny’s. He was supposed to let her know about how much he wanted to be a father, tell her his plans and then ask if she’d be willing to donate. Not spill out his request like lemonade over a tilted picnic table. He’d had a plan. A good one. But the minute he saw her he knew he wouldn’t be able to stick to it.

They’d been friends too long for that.

He didn’t like keeping things from Regina. And honestly, he’d never been particularly good at it. She’d always been a rather astute woman and after more than twenty years of friendship he considered himself utterly transparent in her eyes. He was surprised he’d been able to keep his fatherly intentions away from her for this long.

Robin didn’t know the exact moment he’d decided to have a child. There had been no lightning strike or light bulb moment to mark his recent epiphany. All he knew was that one day he woke up and started looking at all the children in the street wondering if he’d ever get the chance to have one on his own. Before he knew it he was calling adoption agencies and looking into becoming a foster parent.

The crosswalk light flashed “GO” and Robin pulled himself out of his stupor long enough to make it across the street. He’d been puttering around town for nearly two hours now and somehow in the dazed, regretful state of mind his feet had brought him to the one place he didn’t actually need to be that day. His job.

He was in the midst of a 48-hour off duty period for work but staring up at the red brick firehouse he couldn’t actually think of a better place to be. Robin loved being a firefighter. He loved being part of a team, helping his community and knowing that it was unlikely that one day at work would be exactly the same as another. Somehow that unpredictability made him feel secure in life. He could use a little bit of that security right now.

After taking a moment to drum up a decent excuse (he still hadn’t signed up for Community Day yet) he decided to head inside. As he passed the gleaming red firetruck in the driveway and hung his jacket up on the coatrack next to the garage door he tried to force that morning out of his head.

It was relatively quiet around the station that day but that wasn’t unusual. Storybrooke was a small town and could usually manage with no more than four or five fighters on duty at a time. He passed the bunk room and kitchen area and made his way toward the game room in the back. As he got closer he began to hear the familiar sound of a ping-pong ball repeatedly hitting a tennis table. A smirk graced his face as he turned to the corner to find Emma Swan and Will Scarlet, two of his favorite coworkers, locked in a vigorous battle.

Will was the first to notice him, his brown eyes going wider as Robin walked into the room. “Robin? What the hell are you doing here?”

Emma took advantage of his momentary bewilderment and smacked the white ball against the table for a game point. It bounced against Will’s end of the table and off to the side causing her to triumphantly raise her hands and let out a victorious “Ha-Ha!”

Will’s head whipped back between the ball and her face, before raising an accusing finger in her direction. “That’s not fair Swan! I was distracted!”

She smugly shrugged her shoulders at him. “Not my fault you can’t keep your head in the game Scarlet. And what the hell are you doing here Locksely?” She crossed her arms across her chest as she regarded him suspiciously. The sleeves of her gray fire department tee were rolled up showing off her impressive biceps and her hair was pulled back into a slick bun.

“I’m just here because I forgot to sign up for Community Day at the library,” he said, walking past her toward the sign-up sheet pinned onto the game room bulletin board.

“Better get on it, mate,” advised Will. “You know your sister won’t take it lightly if she doesn’t find your name on the list.”

Over his shoulder Robin raised an eyebrow in Will’s direction. “I expect I’ll find your name just above mine, right Scarlet?”

“Obviously,” Will answered confidently. “Wouldn’t want to disappoint the love of my life, now would I?”

Robin just rolled his eyes in response. Even after a year it was still hard to wrap his head around the idea that thrill-chasing Will was dating his sweet-natured younger sister. As someone who actually enjoyed spending time with the guy Robin still wasn’t entirely sure what Belle saw in him. They were the furthest thing from kindred spirits with hardly anything in common at all. In his opinion, their relationship was positively mind boggling.

As he wrote his name on the line beneath Will’s own scraggly signature he heard Emma start taunting behind his back, “You should stick around Locksely. It’s getting a little boring kicking Will’s ass at ping pong every game. Yours would be a nice change of pace.”

“Ha!” He let out a bark of laughter before turning back to her. “Not bloody likely. You know darts have always been my game.”

“Well like I said a change of pace is welcome,” replied Emma, dropping her ping pong paddle and swaggering over to the dart board.

Robin smirked at her as he headed over to her side. “Alright, you’re on.”

Robin was undoubtedly the best darts player in the whole station, possibly the whole town. Over the years he’d won hundreds of dollars from the wallets of his coworkers by betting on his damn near magical shooting accuracy. However, twenty minutes in it became clear that he was off his game.  No less than ten throws and he’d barely gotten on the board twice. Even Will was ahead of him in points.

A frustrated groan flew from his throat as yet another dart sailed far off from his target and into the wall.

“Huh.” Emma put her hand on her hips before turning to Robin and shrugging her shoulders. “What’s wrong with you?”

Robin glared at her. “What?” he spat defensively.

“Well, no offense,” said Emma, “but your shots suck today.”

“Am I not allowed an off day?” he retorted.

“Sure you are,” Will replied cautiously. “But like you said, mate, darts have always been your game. And, well, the last time you played this badly… was when you first got the news about Marian.”

Will’s tone was a mixture of concern and hesitation. He’d known Robin long enough to know when things were off kilter with him, and a bad round of darts was always a red flag. Had been ever since that tense period three years’ prior when Robin had tried to ignore his bubbling anger and frustration over Marian’s diagnosis only to let it seethe out from him in the form of a short temper and bad aim. He’d been a fright to be around during that month.

Robin felt his frustration cool when he saw the clear concern in his friends’ eyes. “I’m fine,” he assured them. “I’m just a bit… conflicted.”

“About what?” prodded Emma, her curiosity piqued. 

Robin ran his thumb over the dart in his hand. “I might be thinking about making some changes.”

“With work?” asked Will.

“With my life.” Robin shot another dart at the board. It landed on the edge of the outer ring.

“Okay,” drawled Emma, crossing her arms. “In what way?”

Robin sighed as he walked over to the wall and started gathering darts off the board. Will and Emma were really good friends of his but he didn’t exactly want to tell them about what happened that morning. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear their opinions. However, the person he’d usually talk to wasn’t exactly an option that day. And he could use some advice.

He swiped another dart of the board. “Well… I’ve been giving it some thought and I think I might be ready to start a family.”

Emma’s eyebrows shot to her hairline in surprise. “Really? You’re thinking of dating again?”

“No!” Robin quickly shook his head. “It’s not dating I’m interested in. Instead of going out and trying to find someone to start a family with, I’d just start one on my own. You know, one with just me and a child.”

“Wait, what?” Will’s eyes went wide with Robin’s admission. “You mean… taking in a kid on your own? Just you?”

“Well… yeah,” said Robin shrugging his shoulders.

An awkward silence filled the room as they both stared at him with wide eyes, not even bothering to hide the shock on their faces. A moment passed before Robin let out an annoyed scoff. “Well don’t all jump up to support me at once.”

Emma was the first to react. “Well, I don’t really know what to say Robin.”

“I do,” chirped Will. “You’re insane.”

Emma whipped her head toward him. “Will!”

“What? We’re both thinking it.”

“No we’re not!” She turned her attention back to Robin. “No we’re not. We are just… taken by surprise is all.”

She leaned back against the pool table behind her. Robin saw her harshly swallow before speaking again. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“A while,” he softly answered. At Emma’s encouragement he revealed the whole story to them. Wondering if he would ever have children. Looking into the foster and adoption websites. Settling on surrogacy. Everything up until breakfast. He wasn’t exactly ready to talk about that yet. When he came to the end of his confession Emma appeared to be fully supportive of his decision while Will remained decidedly unconvinced.

“Does Belle know about this yet?” he asked.

“No,” Robin quickly answered. “No one in my family does. And I swear to God, Will, if you breathe one word –”

“I won’t!” Will raised his hands palms up in a submissive gesture. “I can keep a secret. But I will say I find it a bit telling that you’re keeping this little plan of yours so tightly under wraps.”

“I just wanted to wrap my own head around the idea before I included anyone else,” argued Robin. “Is that such a crime?”

“No it isn’t,” chimed in Emma. “And for the record… I think this is a good idea.”

Robin raised his eyebrows at her. “You do?”

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “I know you’re great with kids. Liam absolutely loves you. And from what you’ve told us it really does seem like you’ve thought this through. You’d make a great dad Robin. So I think you should do it.”

Will just crossed his arms with a scoff. “Well I think it sounds like you want a kid because you’re lonely and too afraid to date.”

“Really Will?” snapped Emma. “You’re not even gonna sugarcoat it for him?”

“My opinions only come in blunt form Emma, you know that.”

“And they’re just as helpful as usual,” deadpanned Robin.

“Okay even if your opinion was valid, which it isn’t,” Emma pointed out, “being lonely isn’t the worst reason in the world to have a kid.”

“I’m not lonely!” snapped Robin. “That’s not what this is about.”

“Then what is it about?” interrogated Will.

“It’s about the fact that there are certain parts of my future that I don’t want to give up on and being a father is one of them,” Robin sharply explained, his frustration growing with Will’s continued disagreement.

“But do you have to do it like this?” Will continued to argue. “I mean, think about it Robin. You’d be having a baby with a complete stranger.”

Robin felt his throat tighten up at Will’s assumption and he averted his gaze. “It might not be a complete stranger,” he muttered under his breath.

Emma leaned forward, her eyebrows pinched together at Robin’s aside. “I’m sorry what was that?”

He let out a deep breath. This was not going to be fun to explain. “Well I’m since I’m going the surrogacy route that means I’ll need a donor. So… I’m considering asking one of my friends to donate.”

 “And just who were you thinking of asking?” Emma’s voice had gone deadly steady as she stared him down. Robin felt goosebumps rise up under her gaze.

“Well… I was thinking of asking Regina.”

A frown pulled at Emma’s face at the same time a wide grin split across Will’s. With that one admission they’d completely swapped attitudes.

“Oh wow!” laughed Will.

Emma shook her head at him. “I take back everything I said. You haven’t thought through anything,” she deadpanned.

Robin groaned. “Emma…”

“Robin… you realize what you’d be asking her, right?” said Emma. “You’d practically be asking her to have your baby.”

“Which, for the record, I am totally onboard with,” said Will, grin still plastered on his face.

Robin chose to ignore him. “I wouldn’t be asking her to have a baby with me. I’d only be asking for her eggs. That’s all I’d need.”

“And you really think she’ll be okay with that?”

Yet again Regina’s face flashed through his mind.

“Well…” he stammered. “I’d do it for her if she asked me.”

And it wasn’t even a lie. If Regina had come to asking for his help to have a child he’d say yes with barely any hesitation. At least that what he kept telling himself.

Emma on the other hand saw straight through him.

“Really Robin? You’d be okay with her having your child, raising it in the same town as you but not being involved in any way?” she questioned. “You’re telling me you’d be able to look at that kid, see yourself and be able to feel nothing?”

Robin pressed his lips together as she fired off question after question. They were valid points but that certainly didn’t make them any easier to address.

“Lay off Swan,” ordered Will. “You’re acting like her being involved would be the worst thing in the world.”

“I’m not saying that it’s the worst thing in the world. I’m saying that it’s unnecessarily complicated,” stressed Emma. “They’ve been friends practically their whole lives.”

“Which is probably what makes her the best candidate for the job,” pointed out Will.

“Well you’ve certainly changed your tune,” said Emma. “Ten seconds ago you were calling him insane for wanting to be a father at all.”

“That was when I thought he was doing it alone but now that I know he’s not…”

“And what’s so wrong with doing it alone?” she sniped, accusingly.

From what he remembered Robin’s parents had never been the type to fight around their children, but listening to Will and Emma bicker over his future certainly made him feel like the kid called into the principal’s office. He felt his frustration start to rise as they continued to talk over each other.

“Okay that’s enough!” he snapped. When they turned to him with wide eyes, he took a deep breath. “I’ve already told Regina that her involvement in the child’s life can be whatever she wants it to be.”

“Wait what do you mean you’ve already told her?” Emma trapped him under her interrogative gaze. “Do you mean you’ve already asked her?”

“When did you ask her?” Will demanded.

Robin silently cursed himself for letting that detail slip. “I asked this morning at breakfast,” he answered in resignation. He reluctantly filled them on the scene at Granny’s diner.

Will grimaced. “Wow, so she really bolted?”

“Reasonable reaction if you ask me,” muttered Emma.

“Thanks,” Robin blankly replied.

Emma shrugged her shoulders at him. “I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m just being negative but you have to admit that you absolutely blindsided her Robin. I mean it’s not like you asked her to loan you a couple bucks, you asked her to help you make a baby. It’s a pretty big deal.”

“Actually have to agree with Swan on this one,” Will chimed in. “Your approach could’ve been a lot better.”

 _Well at least they’re finally agreeing_ , Robin thought sullenly. However, he was willing to admit that they had a point. The way he’d asked Regina for her help wasn’t how it should’ve gone down. He should’ve waited for a better moment.

“I know asking her at Granny’s wasn’t the best idea but I can’t take it back now.” He paused for a moment. “Do you think she’ll say yes to me?”

Emma and Will shared a furtive glance.

“Honestly,” drawled Will, “I think it’s a bit of a coin toss at this point. Could go either way.”

“She is your best friend,” mused Emma. “She clearly wants you to be happy but children aren’t fleeting, they’re a lifelong commitment. And the way you asked…”

She let her sentence trail off given him an unspoken reminder of just how impulsive he’d acted that morning. Robin just let out a disappointed breath before hurling another dart at the board. It bounced off the board and onto the floor.

Emma watched his failed attempt and knitted her eyebrows at him. “Why her, Robin?”

“What?” He turned to her with surprise flashing in his blue eyes.

“You heard me,” she said. “Robin you could've gotten any anonymous donor that you wanted but instead you went to breakfast and asked your best friend for her eggs. Why would you do that?”

Both Emma and Will were staring at him, the demand for an answer clear in their eyes. Robin suddenly felt paralyzed under their gaze.

“I… I don’t know,” he stuttered.

Will openly gaped at him. “You don’t know. That’s the answer you’re going with?”

“Well, I mean… you’ve met her,” stammered Robin. “She’s pretty and healthy and intelligent…”

Emma sternly shook her head at him. “Oh no, Robin that’s bullshit. You cannot just list out characteristics and expect us, or her, to understand. You could’ve gotten smart, pretty, healthy anywhere. If you want her to say yes to you… then you’re gonna have to be honest and give her a much better answer for why you want her to be the mother of your child.”

Her words practically blew him off his feet. Why did he want Regina to be the mother of his child? Honestly he’d tried not to give it much thought but if he allowed himself to dig deep he knew exactly why he’d chosen her. But if she knew would she even say yes?

XXXXXXXXX

The day didn’t go quickly for Regina. Still trapped in the fog of Robin’s request the minutes seemed to drag on for hours. She was so knocked off her game she barely made it through court that afternoon. It was nearly seven when she finally left the office, her wandering mind had made it hard to get through her paperwork. Climbing into her car she tried to relax into the soft leather seats of her BMW, letting the back of her skull fall against the headrest. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath as she brought her hands up to the steering wheel. Her mother and sister would be expecting her for dinner in half an hour and honestly, she was dreading it. The idea of sitting down for a two-hour session of poorly hidden barbs from her sister and outright criticism from her mother all while still grappling with Robin’s request made her stomach churn and head ache.

Opening her eyes, she gave her head a little shake before reaching into her purse. In a move that was sure to earn her mother’s wrath and disdain, she quickly fired off a text letting her know that she wouldn’t be arriving for dinner that night. As soon as she saw it was sent she turned off her cell phone in order to avoid the barrage of texts and calls that would soon be coming her way as her mother attempt to shame her into coming to dinner. She couldn’t handle being in the same room as her right now. She wasn’t steady enough.

She turned the key in the ignition and headed out of the parking lot. She suddenly realized that she wasn’t in the mood to go home. All the silence would give her space to overthink. Instead, she drove around town for a bit, trying to clear her head with the help of the Lana del Rey. The singer’s husky voice emanated softly from the radio as Regina made her way through the town, passing shops and houses, their lights reflecting against her car as she went.

After half an hour of driving on autopilot she realized that she’d driven up to a familiar spot on the edge of town near the forest. An old forgotten campground. A small smile tugged on her lips. This was her and Robin’s place.

She pulled her car over by the side of the road, next to the towering pine trees on the edge of the forest. Her heels sunk into the dirt as she made her way over to the old picnic area, kicking away an empty beer can as she went. A couple of teenagers must’ve found their way here. She and Robin had been coming here since before they were teenagers. They couldn’t have been older than twelve when they’d found it. It was the first place they would look for each other when they were sad or angry or just feeling things in general.

She sat down on the bench of an old picnic table, the splinters of the old wood poking her through her pencil skirt. A cool breeze ran over skin and she tilted her head up to the sky. The sun was barely setting but she could already tell the stars would be plentiful that night. The starry sky was one of Storybrooke’s main selling points. The twinkling lights had a calming effect on Regina. They helped her feel at peace.

She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there, letting the sounds of the forest calm her, before the sound of an empty beer bottle being kicked against the ground and the smell of orange chicken and egg rolls breached her bubble.

He should’ve known she’d been there.

Robin had eventually made it to his house that day. The firehouse had grown a little unbearable after his conversation with Will and Emma. Instead he’d gone back to his house, settled in his garage and went to work fixing that table chair Granny had been bugging him about. He’d spent all afternoon, drowning himself in carpentry, trying to clear his head of Emma’s interrogation. Every once in a while his eyes had flickered toward his cell phone and he’d wondered about Regina, debated whether or not he had the right to call her first or wait for her to reach out to him.

When the itch to dial her number had become too much he’d finally left. Put on his boots and took another long walk up to the town’s only Chinese restaurant to order dinner. Eating alone at home didn’t exactly feel appealing but eating alone in public had just seemed sad. Instead he’d gotten his order to go and headed out to the campground. If he had to be alone it might as well be in a place where he could actually think.

He’d instantly recognized her black BMW when he’d walked up and the sight of it had stopped him in his tracks. The coward in him had wanted to turn around and head straight back to town, unwilling to face her after what happened between them that morning, too afraid she’d already made up her mind and not in his favor. But that part hadn’t won out. The campground had always been a safe place for the both of them. And if he was ever going to face her he’d rather do it here than anywhere else.

He found her sitting at one of the old picnic tables, still dressed in her work clothes, the bottom of her two inch heels lightly dusted by the dirt. Her body was turned out to face the forest while her head was pulled back and her eyes closed shut. It was a familiar pose. One that told him she was letting the sound of the wind and the crickets lull the gears of her brain into reluctant slumber. For a moment he felt as though he was interrupting and considered turning back. But an empty beer bottle alerted him to her presence.

Her momentary peace interrupted, she turned and stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. “Hey.”

He shrugged his shoulders at her. “Hey.”

An awkward silence passed between them and the air grew thick with tension. Regina swallowed hard as she continued to stare. She didn’t know exactly what to say yet. Before she could even get a word out her stomach spoke for her, growling as the smell of orange chicken rode on the night wind into her face. She was suddenly reminded that she’d had barely anything to eat since breakfast.

Robin lifted up his takeout box. “You hungry?”

A grateful smile tugged on her lips. “Starving. Did you over order again?”

He nodded his head as he took a seat across from her at the picnic table. “Can’t seem to break the habit.”

He handed her the box of egg rolls as she swung her legs over the bench and beneath the table. She mumbled a grateful reply before eagerly taking a bit of one. _Lukewarm_ , she thought to herself. He must’ve walked up here again.

He eyed her curiously as he split apart a pair of chopsticks. “What are you doing up here? I thought you had dinner with your family tonight?”

She swallowed her food. “I canceled.”

Robin’s went still for a moment before arching an eyebrow at her. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Huh,” he huffed. “Well that must’ve been a fun phone call.”

“I sent a text.”

His eyes widened. “Wow! Your mother must be stewing by now.” 

“I know,” she moaned pitifully. “She’s probably going to give me double the hell next month.”

He flipped open his box of orange chicken. “Well I hope you had a good reason.”

She paused before shaking her head at him. “I didn’t. I just didn’t think I could sit with them for so long. Not with my head like this.”

 _Not thinking about what you asked_ , she silently added.

Even though she didn’t speak the words he heard her loud and clear. By blindsiding her that morning he’d left her vulnerable. Too vulnerable to endure a dinner with just her mother and sister. She’d need time to build her guard back up before she saw them.

Robin sighed as he let his chopsticks fall down into his takeout box. “Regina… I -I’m sorry if I took you by surprise with what I asked. That wasn’t my intention and it was never supposed to happen like that. I just saw you and I became –”

“Impulsive,” she sternly supplied, giving a sharp lift of her eyebrow.

His eyes guiltily dropped down to the table. “Yeah,” he softly agreed.

Regina watched as Robin’s shoulder began to hunch over like they always did when he felt guilty over something. The sight of him like that twisted her gut. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a frustrated breath. “Robin… why didn’t you talk to me? I was here. You could’ve come to me.”

“I guess I was afraid of what you’d say,” he admitted. “Afraid that you’d tell me I was being impulsive and shortsighted. I know that was what everyone else was going to say and… I just didn’t think I could handle hearing it from you.”

“Well, that might be true,” she said. “This decision could be seen as impulsive and shortsighted but Robin… that’s who you are.”

He scoffed at her. “Gee thanks.”

“I mean it,” she said firmly. “You’ve never made the important choices using logic or sense. You go with your gut every time. And you’re usually right.”

“I know,” he sighed, “but is it really a good idea to have a child based on a gut feeling?”

Regina playfully tilted her head left and right. “Probably not,” Regina admitted with a chuckle, “But neither was getting married and look how that turned out for you.”

The dimples in Robin’s cheeks flared as a soft smile pulled on his lips. Deciding to get married after only four months of dating had to have been the most impulsive decision Robin ever made. Hell, he’d started eyeing his grandmother’s ring after three weeks. Still he would always count marrying Marian as one of the best decisions he’d made in his life. And he wasn’t the only one.

“As I recall I had your full support with that decision,” he reminded her, a clear smirk on his face as he reached for the egg rolls.

“That is very true,” she conceded. “You and Marian made perfect sense to me. As do you and a baby.”

“You mean that?” he asked softly.

“I do,” she replied. “You’re loving and protective. Kids adore you for some reason. Men like you were built to be fathers.”

“Thanks. That means a lot,” he said. “And I really do feel ready.”

“Good,” she said with a firm nod of her head. “You need to be.”

“What about you?” he asked. “Do you think you’re ready?”

She reluctantly set down her takeout box. “I’ve been ready to be a mom for a very long time Robin. You know that. But I’m not like you. I can’t just make decisions using my gut. It doesn’t work like that for me.”

It was true and he knew it. Regina had always been the level-headed one for the two of them. She liked having options and thinking them through. He and Daniel used to joke that she never met a choice that couldn’t be made with a pro and cons list. He should’ve known it would’ve too much to expect she’d have an instant answer for him. That wasn’t who she was.

“But I have been thinking about it,” she softly added.

“You have?”

“Of course,” she said. “How could I not?”

“Are you close to a decision?” he asked, hope lifting his tone.

She drummed her fingers against the bench. “Maybe,” she mumbled, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m still feeling… uncertain about a couple things.”

A moment of silence passed over them and Robin saw her clench her jaw from across the table. She was holding back from him. He could tell.

“There’s something else holding you back, isn’t there? Something you’re too worried to ask me about?”

A flicker of doubt passing behind her eyes told him he was right.

“You can ask it,” he said. “I promise I’ll be honest.”

Her chest heaved as she let out a deep breath. “Okay. I suppose I don’t understand why you’d want to do it like this. And I don’t mean using a surrogate, I mean… I don’t get why you’d want to do it with my eggs. I know we’ve been friends for a long time but I just… didn’t see it coming from you. And that leaves me feeling… unsettled. So I guess I’d like to know why, when you could’ve chosen anybody else, did you choose to come to me?”

It was a question he’d been struggling with ever since the firehouse. He knew she’d ask it. And he knew he’d have to answer as honestly as possible.

Beneath the table his hands started to grip the wooden bench as he cleared his throat, trying to think of a way to turn what he felt into words that she could understand.

“Okay,” he sighed, “well, I am going to start by knocking one scary option out of the park for you. I am not asking for your eggs because I am secretly in love with you and trying to trap you with a child.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Well that’s good to know,” she sarcastically replied, with a tilt of her head.

“Don’t pretend you weren’t thinking it. I know you were,” he laughed.

 _Maybe a little_ , she silently admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

He shook his head. “Honestly it’s nothing like that. I just…well I went up to a fertility clinic in Boston a little while ago.”

Surprise flashed across her face. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve gone with you.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you,” he said softly. “I’ve kind of been in lone wolf mode up until this morning. Thought it was best I went by myself.”

He took another deep breath. “Anyway, I went up there I told them my plans and they were helpful. Told me everything I’d need. But then they asked me about my donor and I told them I wanted an anonymous one. Then they handed me this monster of a binder filled with profiles of possible donors. And they all had their nice attributes I suppose, but when I looked at their faces… I saw nothing but question marks staring back up at me.”

He paused before continuing. “The binders didn’t tell me whether or not they were kind. Or funny. Or what type of foods they liked. It didn’t tell me the stuff that mattered to me. And it just hit me that if I went with the anonymous donor there was a chance that I might look at my child and see nothing but another question mark staring back at me. And that’s not what I want.”

He finally brought his gaze back up to her face. “When I look at my child I want to see pieces of someone I love. I missed the chance to do that with Marian but you… well, you’re my best friend. You’ve always been a part of my life and I trust you more than anyone. So on the way back home I started thinking to myself that if I had to look at my child and see one half of another person… I’d want that person to be you.”

Regina felt her eyes begin to burn as she blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall. He meant every word. She could see it in his eyes and it made her heart clench. She blew out a long breath and folded her hands against the table. “You said this morning that my involvement could be whatever I wanted it to be. Did you mean that?”

“Yes,” he instantly replied.

She continued, “Because if we did end up going through with this I don’t think, no, I know that I’m not going to be able to sit on the sidelines when it comes to this baby. I’d need to have a say in every decision. I’d need to be their mother. Nothing less.  Would you really be okay with that?”

He took a moment to give it some thought but firmly nodded his head. “Yes. I would be fine that.”

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure? Because I’m talking about the real deal here Robin. Shared custody. Full on co-parenting? Are you sure you’re alright making that sort of commitment to me? Because you’ve made it pretty clear you didn’t want it with anyone else.”

“Well that’s different,” he pointed out. “You’re… different. I mean you were always going to be a permanent fixture in my life anyway. And no matter what I hoped that would mean you’d be a permanent part of the baby’s life too. So yes… if you want to do shared custody I am fine with it.”

She locked her brown eyes onto his blue searching for any sign of uncertainty or hesitation. She found none. In that moment her decision was made. Her heart leapt in her chest. She gave her head a little shake and chuckled to herself.

“I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to my mother,” she whispered, a humorous lilt to her tone.

Robin raised his eyebrows at her. “So… does that mean…”

She sighed. “Yes Robin Locksely. You can have my eggs.”  


	2. Chapter 2

It’s another Wednesday morning at Granny’s Diner. Six Wednesdays since that fateful night when Robin and Regina had decided to have a child together. The diner is a symphony of clinking silverware and disjointed chatter from the customers filling every table. The kitchen grill is hot and loaded up with sizzling eggs and meat and the smell of bacon and coffee fills the air as the staff rushes to fill their orders.

Same as always Robin and Regina sat in the third booth from the door and on the surface it appeared that nothing had changed. They’d kept up with their tradition of Wednesday morning breakfast, down to the booth even. But over the past few weeks things had changed. No longer were their morning meetings a time to blow off steam and enjoy each other’s company. There was no more talk of irritating coworkers and family grievances. Wednesday mornings were now reserved for one thing and one thing only: planning for the baby.

Regina sat across from him in the booth now, wearing a white blouse she’d matched with a pair of high-waisted black slacks. The remains of her food had been pushed aside and she’d moved onto her second mug of coffee. Robin stared at her, an expectant look on his face.  

“So…” he drawled. “Did you get a chance to go through the profiles again?”

She looked up from her coffee to send him an annoyed look. Nodding her head she sighed, “Yes I looked through the profiles again.”

“And? Did you see anyone you liked?” he questioned, a hint of urgency to his tone.

“Did you?” she replied, setting down her coffee and arching an eyebrow at him. He sent her an exasperated look from across the table.

Two weeks ago, after getting the okay from both of their doctors, they’d taken a weekend trip up to Boston to visit the fertility clinic that Robin had chosen. Since everything appeared to be in good order with their eggs and sperm their counselor said the next step would be choosing their surrogate. They’d been drowning in profiles ever since, going back and forth over which potential surrogates appeared to be good choices. Robin thought she was being overly critical and she found him to be more than a little lenient. It had put them in a bit of a stalemate.

She let out a strained breath as she shrugged her shoulders and raised her palms, unable to come up with a response. In the end she just gave her head a little shake before asking, “Well did you see anyone that you liked?”

Robin glanced away before mumbling, “I thought a couple of the women looked like good options…”

Regina raised her eyebrows at him. “But…?” she supplied.

Robin sighed before seriously looking her in the eyes. “But I’m afraid you won’t like them.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you’ve tossed out every profile I’ve sent your way,” Robin desperately pointed out.

A scoff flew from her throat. “That’s not true.”

He tilted his head at her, disbelief clear in his eyes. “Regina…”

“Alright, I’ve been a little… selective,” she reluctantly admitted.

Selective was putting it lightly. He’d sent her dozens of profiles over the past few days, none of them had appealed to her. She always found a factor or reason to write them off. It had been more than a little frustrating.

“But it is the woman who will be carrying our child,” replied Regina in a hushed voice. “Can you blame me for being a little picky?”

“I don’t!” Robin immediately refuted her claim. “I just wish you’d pick someone to meet with. We’ve looked at dozens of profiles and you haven’t liked one person yet.”

He sighed and dropped his gaze down at his unfinished waffle, steeling his resolve before bringing his eyes back up to hers.

“I’m perfectly fine with meeting whoever you’d want to meet with,” he said. “And I want you to be comfortable with who we choose.”

“Thank you,” said Regina, thinking the conversation finished she let her eyes drop down to her coffee.

“But…,” Robin seriously continued, causing her eyes to drift back up to him in surprise, “we will need to choose eventually.” He paused before continuing. “Regina, I know you want the best for our child. You want the best for everyone. It’s one of the reasons I love you and one of the reasons I’m comfortable making you the mother of my child.”

A smile grew on her face at Robin’s words.

“But…” he continued, causing her smile to falter. “These women – these surrogates… they’re not products. They’re people. They’re not going to be perfect. Each woman is going to come with her own set of flaws so you can’t keep searching for the best. There is no best. There is just what we can work with and what we can’t. Or rather… who.”

He added his last amendment with a soft chuckle, still her smile seemed forced as she took in his words.

Regina pressed her lips together as she saw the hint of desperation in his blue eyes. It reminded her that as long as she’d wanted a child Robin had probably been waiting just as long. He was eager to get started and she’d been a bit of a roadblock these past few days. And if they truly were going to be co-parents together she’d have to bend a little more than she was used to.

She sighed before speaking again. “Why don’t you send me your top ten options today? I’ll look through them, pick the five I like the most and we can set up meetings with them for next weekend.”

“Meetings with who?”

A new voiced intruded into their conversation. Regina’s pulse quickened as she looked up to find herself staring into the pair of familiar, inquisitive green eyes belonging to Ruby Lucas, Robin’s cousin.

“Potential witnesses,” Regina immediately replied, the lie slipping off her tongue with practiced ease. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her left ear. Clearing her throat, she fixed her lips into a smile and said a polite greeting. “Good morning Ruby.”

Ruby Lucas was the manager of Granny’s diner, granddaughter to the titular Granny herself. She was the face of the restaurant. Had been ever since her grandmother’s forced semi-retirement five years ago. As cousins she, Robin and his little sister had grown up together under her grandmother’s care. Ruby was fun, tough and she could cut through bullshit better than anyone Regina knew. Exactly the type of person you wanted on your side during a rumble.

The brunette just raised an eyebrow at her as she continued to stand near their booth, one hand placed on her hip, the other holding up a pot of coffee and a curious look still on her face.

She moved to refill Robin’s coffee while keeping her eyes on Regina. “Potential witnesses? You must have a big case coming up.”

Regina shook her head nonchalantly. “Not really. Just some leftover work from last night. Trying to figure out who I can put on the stand.”

Ruby narrowed her eyes at her, unsatisfied with the answer she’d received. “So nothing I should worry my pretty little head over?”

“Not at all,” Regina innocently replied, ignoring the pointed bite in Ruby’s tone.

A brief, awkward moment of silence passed before Robin finally decided to speak up.

“Having a good morning Ruby?” he asked, folding his hands against the booth’s table.

She turned to him, a warm smile appearing on her face. “It’s the breakfast shift at a diner, Robin. The mornings are never good. Just busy.”

“So I remember,” he said, his eyes sweeping over the crowded restaurant. “I also remember Granny saying too much business is always better than none.”

Ruby let out a soft chuckle as she gave her head a little shake. “That is true. I also remember her telling me to get on your ass about that rocking chair she gave you two weeks ago.”

Robin waved her off. “I’m working on it.” He tilted his head at her, curiously. “What are you doing here anyway? I thought you didn’t work Wednesdays anymore.”

“I don’t,” replied Ruby. “I’m covering a shift for Ashley. Her kid’s sick.”

“Aww,” drawled Robin, his tone turning playful. “Well aren’t you just the best boss in the world?”

“That’s what it says on the mug in my office,” Ruby shot back with a grin. “Besides I didn’t mind. Working the Wednesday breakfast shift gives me a chance to catch up with my favorite cousin.”

Robin smirked up at her. “I’m telling Belle you said that.”

“Like she’d ever believe you,” retorted Ruby. She gave him one last smile before stepping back. “I’m at the counter. You can catch up with me once you’re done with your date.”

“It’s not a date,” Regina firmly stated, anxiously leaning forward in her seat to finally speak up. Her words went unnoticed as Ruby sauntered back behind the diner counter, not sending so much as one more mischievous glance back in Regina’s direction.

Settling back into the booth Regina let out an annoyed sigh and shook her head. Robin took in her reaction and just chuckled. “Just take a deep breath.”

“You know the red streaked hair and the dangerously high shorts might be gone but sometimes I’m convinced that she’s just as annoying as she was in high school.”

While Regina was close with most of Robin’s family –  had been since she was a child – she and Ruby had more of a rocky history. Regina had never been close with her own family and she’d ended up spending more than most days around Robin and his family in attempt to escape the loneliness she felt at home. Ruby had always seen her as an interloper, crossing into territory where she didn’t belong. Things had been tense between them when they were kids but that was in the past. Mostly.

She sighed and rolled her eyes before she noticed Robin intently staring at her from across the table.

“What?” she asked.

Robin shook his head at her. “Nothing, it’s just your lie came out pretty smooth back there.”  

A small smirk grew on her face. “Well I’ve more than had my fair share of practice Robin, you know that.”

She took another sip of her coffee but Robin just continued to study her face. “You know we never did talk about our families and how we would tell them.”

His tone was steady and serious. It made her hands go still as she pressed her lips together. “You’re nervous about it?” he said.

It was a statement not a question. He’d seen the way she’d flinched when Ruby showed up. The way the blush had risen in her cheeks. She’d been… flustered.

That wasn’t normal for her.

Regina nervously wet her lips. “Well you have to admit Robin, what we’ve chosen is… unconventional to say the least.” She stressed the last part of her sentence, as if reminding him that other people didn’t normally choose to have children through surrogates with their best friends.

Taking another sip of her coffee she added, “Some people might not understand it.”

“And by ‘some people’ you mean your mother and by ‘understand’ you mean approve,” Robin instantly replied.

He immediately saw the grip on her coffee mug tighten and her spine straighten as she let out a tense breath. “Regina… you will have to tell her at some point.”

 “I know. It’s just…”

She let her sentence trail off as she gave her head a little shake. She closed her eyes to take a deep breath before opening them again and placing a serious look on her face as she stared across the table at Robin.

“Robin, the minute I tell her she will start to poke holes. And she will needle and prod and push me. Telling me how every choice I made is wrong and how I’m ruining my life… again.” She bitterly scoffed the last word.

Robin swallowed hard. His knee began to steadily bounce under the table as his anxiety grew. “Are you having seconds thoughts about it?”

“No!” she firmly answered. “I am not having any seconds thoughts. I want to have this baby and I don’t care what anyone thinks of our decision. I just… I’m excited. And I’m hopeful. And I want to stay that way. At least for a little while longer.”

Her smile reappeared then, big, bright and hopeful. Just like he liked it.

She reached out to grab his hand.

“I promise you I’m not going to change my mind,” she said. “But right now our plans – with the surrogate, and the baby, and the future – well, they’re just that. Ours. And I’m not ready to have to explain just why we made them to every single person in our lives right now.  I just want a little more time in our own protective bubble. Do you understand?”

Robin reluctantly nodded his head. He understood Regina’s hesitation to reveal their plans to her family. Her relationship with her sister and mother was complicated at best, hostile at worst. She’d need time to steel her resolve.

“I get it,” he assured her. “We can wait until things are more in motion.”

She smiled at him appreciatively and gave his hand a tiny squeeze. “Thank you.” Stepping out of the booth she slipped her purse over her shoulder. “I have to go to work but I have my copy of the profiles” – she patted the outside of her purse for emphasis – “and I promise I will look through them again during lunch. Maybe add an option or two to the mix.”

He smiled up at her. “That would be wonderful.”

She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek to say goodbye and then disappeared through the diner door. Watching from the window he saw her walk down the street, pulling on her blazer, slipping her smartphone from her purse and entering “work mode.” He leaned back in his seat with a sigh, his thoughts running rampant in his head.

He didn’t stay at the diner for long. After another quick chat with Ruby he pulled on his gray hoodie and decided to head to work. A passing glance at the clock told him that he was late as usual.

As he walked down the street Robin thought about just how much his future had changed in the past few weeks. For most of his life he’d never given it as much as he should’ve. In his youth, he’d been content to go with the flow. Losing Marian had changed that for him. Once he’d lost the possibility of a future with her he couldn’t stop wondering what bleak road lay ahead of him without her. The things they’d planned that would never happen. In the first few months after her death he couldn’t imagine going on without her, his future had seemed empty but now… it just didn’t. He had something to look forward to. He was going to be a father. Maybe not in the way he originally planned but it was still happening. And he was excited about it. He truly was. He was just… nervous about his partner.

Not about her Regina herself, of course. She was going to make an excellent mother; Robin was sure of that. He just wasn’t sure that she was sure. Of him that is.

She’d never said so, of course. In fact, she’d assured him of her commitment numerous times over the past few weeks but ever since they’d started looking for a surrogate she’d started to withdraw. When they looked up profiles, when they’d visited the fertility clinic and talked about what traits they’d like in a surrogate he’d see this look in her eyes. This… hesitation. She tried to hide it but he could still tell. He always could with her.

When it came to choosing their potential surrogate it almost seemed as if she was dragging her feet. Robin didn’t want to doubt her but her attitude had put him a bit on edge.

What if she wanted to back out of their arrangement?

Robin didn’t think that was where she headed but he couldn’t be sure. The inner workings of her mind were an enigma. Even to him.

He tried to push thoughts of Regina out of his head as he walked into the firehouse. As he stepped onto the cement driveway and into the garage he found himself regaining his peace of mind. As soon as the familiar smell of old hoses and rubber tires hit his nose he felt himself grow calmer. Her was at work, he was in his element. Any drama or complications from the outside world didn’t make it past those garage doors. His personal life couldn’t touch him here. Maybe a day at work would give him something else to fret over, like a small gas leak or a grease fire.

“Locksely!”

Or a meeting with his angry sounding boss.

The minute he stepped inside he heard his name yelled from above his head. He looked up to see his red-faced boss, Leroy Burkes, staring down at him from the next floor.

“In my office. Now!” he ordered in his gruff voice, before disappearing back into his office.

Robin groaned under his breath before muttering, “Yes captain.”

Leroy Burkes was a portly, red-faced, short-tempered man. He took no crap, he had no patience and he’d been fire department’s captain for more than 20 years. While Robin wouldn’t spend his weekends with the man he certainly carried respect for him. Even if he didn’t seem to understand that speaking and yelling were two different things.

By the time Robin got to the office Leroy was already sitting expectantly behind his desk, the golden captain’s badge shining against his stark white button-up shirt. Like always there was an annoyed look in his eyes and a frown on his face. On some days, when they were excessively bored, Robin and the other members of his crew would wonder aloud just when exactly they’d shown up. Did they appear during adulthood or was he just raised into a very annoyed, frowny child?

“You call me in here because I’m late again?” asked Robin.

Leroy sent him an annoyed look. “Locksely if I wasted time giving a damn when you showed up, I’d be late as you are.”

“Right,” sighed Robin, sitting down across from his desk. “So what is this about? Don’t tell me it’s that time of the year again?”

“You know it is,” deadpanned Leroy.

He silently opened his drawer, pulled out a thin book and dropped it on the desk. _Fire Lieutenant’s Study Guide._ Robin let out an annoyed groan when he read its title. It was the fifth time he’d had that book dropped in front of him. His response remained unchanged.

“I don’t need that,” he immediately said.

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t,” he refused. “I’ve told you before I like where I am.”

“When have I ever cared what you liked?” Leroy gruffly replied, causing Robin to snicker. “You’ve been here ten years Locksely. It’s time.”

“I’m fine where I am. I’m good with the team,” asserted Robin. “There’s no reason for me to climb up the ladder.”

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?”

Robin smirked at him. “Why because I don’t want to sit behind this desk one day?”

“You’re damn right that’s why,” snarled Leroy. “Locksely I’ve run this place for more than 20 years. How the hell am I supposed to retire when I’m not sure it’ll be in good hands when I go?”

“And why do those hands have to be mine?”

“Because you’re the best I’ve ever trained,” Leroy said seriously. “The crew respects you. The community trusts you. You know this place in and out.”

Robin just rolled his eyes. Leroy had been the lieutenant’s position on him for years now even though he’d made it clear that he had no interest in leadership. He didn’t want to sit behind a desk and come up with the plans, he just wanted to execute them in the field. It’s where he worked best and it was where he could take care of his team.

“You’re made for this Locksely and you know it.”

“I’m made to be part of team,” Robin insisted. “I like being in the fire with my crew. I have no desire to call the shots.”

“Good leaders aren’t created out of desire. They’re created out of necessity.”

“That’s a nice sentiment,” replied Robin. “Who said it? FDR? Lincoln?”

“Origin unknown,” Leroy flatly answered, a permanent frown on his face. He leaned back in his seat causing the glare against his bald spot to shift. He scowled at Robin from across the desk. “You’re really gonna walk away again?”

Robin nodded his head as he stood from his seat. “Yep. Same as always.”

Leroy disapprovingly shook his head. “At this rate I’m never gonna retire,” he grumbled, tossing the book back into his drawer. He pointed a determined finger in Robin’s direction. “One day, Locksely, I swear I’m gonna get you to take some responsibility around here.”

Robin chuckled as he made his way out of the office. “I wouldn’t bet on that captain,” he tossed over his shoulder.  

And he really wouldn’t. Robin loved being a firefighter and he loved his coworkers but not even a fancy title and pay raise could tempt him into putting on that white lieutenant’s shirt. Authority wasn’t something he wore well. Besides, there was enough change in his life for the moment.

XXXXXXX

In Regina’s opinion, the Storybrooke Courthouse wasn’t what she’d call impressive. Sure, it was historic, built long before she, or her mother, or her mother’s mother was even born. Sure, the white stone pillars on the building’s exterior added a level of grandeur that went unmatched by any other government-owned building in town. And sure, the wide hardwood staircase leading up to the second floor looked beautiful at the peak of eleven when the sun was at just the right angle to bring out an almost angelic gleam from its expertly waxed floors. Of course, the courthouse was a beautiful place, it just wasn’t impressive. Not to her.

Regina had been coming here ever since she was a little girl by her father’s side, the top of her head barely going higher than his hip. He’d always used to take her to work with him. She remembered spending so many mornings in city hall, at the mayor’s office, coloring at the little pink play desk he’d set only a foot away from his real one. When lunch time had rolled around and she’d finally gotten restless he’d always grab her by the hand and walk her down the street to the courthouse where they’d buy hotdogs from the vendor out front and eat them inside, on the bench in front of the oil portrait of her grandfather Judge Xavier Mills.

The portrait she still chose to sit under even decades later.

The wooden bench hadn’t been moved or replaced since she was a child. It still resided against the wall in the corner of the second floor hallway. And the portrait of her grandfather still hung above it, the painted look in his brown eyes as stern and superior as ever. That combined with the black judge’s robe he wore and the gavel he held in his hand gave anyone who walked passed the painting the distinct feeling that they were on trial, whether it was their day in court or not. The plaque beneath his countenance listed his name, year of birth and death. Regina had never met her grandfather and she’d never been particularly fond of his portrait. As a child, and even now as an adult, she found the painted look in her grandfather’s eyes full of judgment and condemnation. She often wondered if the same was true for his real eyes, or if the painter had taken a bit of artistic license given her grandfather’s occupation. Given the stories she’d heard she felt the former possibility to be more likely.

Even so she couldn’t imagine sitting anywhere else on a day she was forced to spend in the courthouse. This bench was her bench. And the portrait above it her portrait. Hers and her father’s.

Regina rested her chin against her hand as she sat on the bench with her elbow rested against its armrest. Her eyes were blank as she retreated into her mind, losing sight of her own surroundings.

She’d just gotten out of court and it had gone very well. She’d nailed the defendant, a college student with the unusual hobby of breaking into stranger’s homes and then pawning their valuables. Given his repeated offenses she’d hardly broken a sweat convincing the judge to give him the full sentence for his crimes. No matter how small a victory it was it’d felt good to have a win in her pocket. She’d needed it after what had happened with the Samuels case. She’d seen Dina’s kids that morning before they’d climbed into a cab with their social worker and headed to the airport. Luckily they’d been able to find some family for them. The kids were going to live with their mother’s cousin out in California. Regina had spoken to her over the phone the week before. She’d sounded nice.

Saying goodbye to those children had been harder than she’d imagined. She wasn’t particularly attached to them but she couldn’t help feeling as though she should’ve been able to do more for their situation. Their mother had been murdered by their stepfather and her office had allowed him to get away with little more than a slap on the wrist (at least in her book).

It still made her blood boil to think of it. In her head she knew that it wasn’t her fault. That she’d done as much as any person in her position could do. But knowing that it wasn’t nearly enough ate away at her insides. The oldest girl had barely turned twelve and the youngest, a little boy, was just about to turn five. Not nearly old enough to handle or deserve half the trauma they now had to handle. Those poor kids. Their entire lives had been turned around all because their mother made one bad decision that she couldn’t undo.

In a way thinking of Dina and her mistakes made her more optimistic about her own decision regarding children. At least she knew that Robin would be a good father. She couldn’t imagine him being anything other than amazing with their child. And even though they weren’t “together” she was still confident they’d make good parents for their baby. Together they’d make the right choices.

Speaking of…

The binder of potential surrogates was still burning a hole in her purse. As she sat the bag on her lap she could practically hear it thrumming from the confines of its plush leather prison, just begging her to pick it up and give it another look. It took everything in her to resist giving into the urge. It wasn’t wise to do such a thing in the courthouse. Too many prying, curious eyes. (And that included the ones in her grandfather’s portrait.)

No, she’d save that task for a moment when she had more privacy. Not that the privacy would bring her any closer to a decision.

She couldn’t help but wonder why, if she was so on board with having a child with Robin, was she faltering so hard when it came to picking a surrogate?

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t realized how she was acting. Turning down every profile Robin dared to send her way, looking over every woman with practically federal scrutiny. It was ridiculous. Even so she couldn’t stop if she tried. Robin had said that no matter what each potential surrogate came with their own set flaws, and sure he might be right, but even then she still couldn’t imagine relaxing her standards. Not for a decision this important.

The woman was going to be carrying her child for god’s sake! It’s not as if a bit of scrutiny was unwarranted. It was rational, a good thing even. She just wasn’t sure it was coming from a good place.

“How was court?”

Breaking out of her trance Regina turned her head just in time to see Mal, two coffee cups in her hand, taking a seat next to her on the bench. With everything on her mind she’d forgotten that Mal had been working a few of her own cases that morning.

Mal passed her a hot cup as she softly mumbled, “He’s going away for ten years. Obviously, there’s a chance of parole but you can’t have everything, right?”

A smirk tugged on Mal’s lips as she removed the lid from her own coffee cup. “Another win for Regina Mills. How unexpected.”

Regina softly scoffed at Mal’s sarcasm. Regina had always been a stellar lawyer. Clear, concise, persuasive. Arguing was her bread and butter. There were few people who were better at it than she was. She’d done mock trials all through high school. Accepted into Columbia University on an accelerated track. Achieved her law and bachelor’s degree simultaneously in five years. Graduated at the top of her class with job offers coming left and right.

Sometimes, when she was in the mood for self-pity, she would think on how surprising it was that with all that going for her she’d ended up right back in the same town she’d sworn to escape. Working under the same person who’d made her want to run. But shockingly that issue no longer captured her attention as much as it used to.

Her hypothetical child with Robin now took priority.         

Removing the lid from her coffee cup, Regina took a sip and immediately twisted her lips up in disgust. Ugh, chamomile tea. She’d forgotten that Mal had become a tea drinker in recent years. Regina was more of a coffee gal herself. Lattes and cappuccinos were what got her through the day. Not that she’d ever let Mal know.

Every time she and Mal had coinciding court dates Mal would always meet her afterwards at the bench on the second floor. And every time she’d bring Regina a hot cup of tea that she’d bought along with her own. She’d been doing it ever since Regina had first started working there, when she’d been fragile from Daniel’s death and unsure of her decision to work under her mother. The first time it happened it had struck Regina as more than a little strange. Even though they’d been friends the Mal she’d known in high school had only been interested in taking care of herself. She cared with words but not actions. But when she’d brought that first cup of tea Regina couldn’t believe just how maternal that action had come off.  It was then that she’d took notice of Mal’s behavior around her. Those few first months she’d been more of a presence than anyone in the office. Checking in and protecting her in her own subtle way. Inviting her to lunches to make sure she ate. Asking to do work in her office under the pretense of a faulty air conditioner just to make sure she hadn’t been overwhelmed by her case load.  Only when Regina started paying attention did she realize just how much Mal had been taking care of her. Probably in ways that even Mal herself didn’t realize.  It was then that Regina finally understood just how much becoming a mother had subtly changed her old friend.

Forcing herself to take another sip of the unappealing tea, Regina wondered how having a child would alter her own instincts.

“So how is Lily?” she found herself asking.

Mal turned to her a flash of surprise came across her blue eyes. Her lips pulled into a bright smile as she replied, “She’s wonderful.” After a moment, she proudly added, “She got first place in her science fair at school.”

“Really?!” drawled Regina, pleasantly surprised. “What was her project?”

“A model of the solar system, where the planets spun at the same rate as they do in actual space,” Mal answered, spinning her finger in the air to illustrate the project.

“That’s very impressive for her age,” commented Regina. “Did you help her with it?”

“God no!” chuckled Mal. “Science was never a strong area for me. You know that.”

Regina let out a soft laugh as she nodded her head in agreement. “Oh yes, your senior year lab fire has burned little fact straight into my memory.”

Mal put up her pointer finger in a gesture of disagreement. “To be fair, that fire happened because I was smoking in the lab not working in it.”

Her tone was stern but she couldn’t help the small giggles that accompanied her words.

As their laughter subsided, Mal sighed and asked, “So how are you and Robin doing on your… little project?”

Yet again Regina heard the thrum of the binder sitting in her purse. She took another sip of her disgusting tea before answering, “It’s going well enough.”

Mal raised an eyebrow at her. “Well enough?”

Regina nodded her head noncommittally. “We’re moving forward together and health-wise things are looking fine.”

“And what about the non-health wise things?” interrogated Mal.

Regina hesitated before answering her. Despite how much she hated this damn tea she was happy for its presence. Drinking it was buying her time. Avoiding Mal’s gaze she took another gulp before softly responding, “We may have hit a small roadblock.”

“Concerning what?”

Regina apprehensively licked her lips before leaning in and conspiratorially whispering, “Choosing our surrogate.”

Mal nodded her head understandingly. “I see.”

She offered no more reaction than that. Not shock or disbelief or judgment. She simply nodded her head, turned back to her tea and took a sip before asking, “How long have you been looking?”

“Two weeks,” Regina answered in a business-like tone. Her eyes dropped down to her shoes and she tapped the side of her cup adding, “He thinks I’m being hypercritical.”

“Are you?”

Regina pursed her lips and clenched her jaw. “Perhaps a little,” she softly admitted.

Mal offered her no response. Instead she just sat beside her silently, sipping her tea and letting Regina stew in her own uncertainty.

Regina knew that even though she’d become more maternal over the years Mal still wasn’t one to offer up unsolicited advice when it came to serious things like this. If you wanted her opinion you had to ask for it.

Bringing her eyes back up to Mal’s face she hesitantly asked, “How did you decide? With Lily?”

Mal looked over at her and scoffed. “You don’t want to ask me that.”

Regina’s head reared back in surprise. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not the same,” she firmly declared. “When I was planning to have Lily I was simply looking for DNA, nothing else.”

Her eyes dropped down to the tea in her hands. “When I was picking a donor I was doing it with the knowledge that they wouldn’t have anything to do with Lily. I felt like I didn’t need to know as many details about him because I wasn’t putting myself in a position where I would ever need to trust him.”

She brought her eyes back up to Regina’s face. “But you are and that’s why you’re freaking out about it.”

Same as always her friend’s words hit her like an arrow through the chest. Regina pursed her lips and averted her eyes from Mal’s unwavering gaze. “It’s just… more difficult than I want it to be. Choosing, I mean.”

Mal nodded her head understandingly. “That’s because you give a damn. But don’t worry. For a mother that’s a good thing.”

She ended her sentence with a knowing smile and Regina felt herself relax at the sight of it. At least a little. Even though she was being hypercritical at least now she knew she wasn’t crazy to be so.

She sighed as she leaned back in her seat and let the back of her head fall against the wall. “I honestly don’t know how men do this,” she said softly. “How do you pick a woman you trust to carry your child?”

“Well most of them try this new invention called ‘dating’,” replied Mal. “I hear it’s quite helpful in narrowing down the pack.”

Regina chuckled at her sarcasm. “Thank you Mal. Your sarcasm is much appreciated.”

“Always is.”

“But you’re right,” conceded Regina. “If I’m going to let another woman carry my child then I’m going to have to trust her.” She sighed and shook her head. “I just don’t see how I’m supposed to do that based on a short profile and a one-hour meeting.”

“Well what’s Robin’s take on the whole process?” Mal asked curiously.

Regina rolled her eyes before replying, “He says he’s just going to trust his gut.”

Mal scoffed before mirroring Regina’s eye roll. “Wow.”

“Right?!” said Regina with a smirk. “Granted, Robin has the most dependable gut I’ve ever seen but given what we’re dealing with I wish he’d use more than his intestines to make a decision.”

“I get it,” said Mal. “Decisions like this are tough. Even if you have a partner to make it with.”

Regina nodded her head solemnly. Over the past few weeks it had run through her head that the next few decisions that she was making with Robin would be some of the most important ones of her life. In that aspect, she was grateful to have him by her side. Him and his dependable gut.

“You know in a way I suppose I feel just like he must’ve felt when he thought about doing this on his own. He considered using an anonymous donor.”

“Why’d he change his mind?” Mal asked.

Regina paused before answering her. “He said when he looked at their faces all he saw were question marks. And he didn’t want to risk looking at his child and feeling the same way. He said he’d rather see half of me than a stranger. He felt more comfortable with someone he knew.”

Mal shifted uncomfortably in her seat before saying, “Well you realize that you have the same option that he had?”

Regina scoffed, sending her a doubtful look. “You can’t possibly be suggesting that I ask someone I know to do this?”

Even though she had her doubts about choosing a surrogate Regina knew she’d never dare to ask someone she knew. Hell, it’s not as if there was particularly long list of candidates anyway. God forbid she ask such a huge favor from a friend or, even worse, her sister. Ugh. She shuddered at the thought.

“Oh god no,” said Mal, shaking her head. “I mean, why not just carry the baby yourself?”

Regina’s gut clenched as a guilty shiver went down her spine. She swallowed hard before briskly stating, “That’s not an option.”

“Why not?” questioned Mal. “Less than two months ago you said you were still able to get pregnant and it’s not like it’ll keep you from doing your job. If you’re worried about pregnancy, I promise you it’s not always the horror show that women make it out to be.”

“That’s not it Mal,” said Regina shaking her head. “I just decided that being pregnant is not something that I want.”

Mal was now staring at her intently, curiosity and confusion blazing in her blue eyes. “Why not?”

Regina ran her thumb over the place where she’d once wore Daniel’s ring.

“It’s complicated,” she whispered.

XXXXXX

Seven years ago Teddy Miller was an unremarkable man. In his late forties. Moderately well off. Unmarried with no children. Seemed to head to work and head home without much in between. He lived a life that was unremarkable in every way. Things didn’t change for him until a summer’s night seven years ago when one poorly put out cigarette had rolled off his downstairs desk and into a trash bin sparking one of the worst fires Robin had ever worked on.

Due to faulty fire alarms by the time Teddy had woken up and called the fire department the lowest floor of his house had already been engulfed in flames, trapping him upstairs. His house perished in the fire but thanks to the work of the fire department Teddy survived with his life and health firmly intact. He’d also escaped with a new outlook on life.

As soon as the insurance check cleared good ol’ Teddy left town to do every remarkable thing he’d denied himself before. Since then he’d gone on to travel the world performing daring stunts, sleeping with beautiful women all while documenting it on his inexplicably popular YouTube channel. However, just before skipping town Teddy stopped by the firehouse to express his gratitude in the form of a massive check.

Word of the check spread quickly and for the next week the entire department entered a long and arduous debate of just what to spend it on. Though kept up to code, the firehouse amenities hadn’t been updated in decades. And with a check that large the possibilities were nearly endless. After days of bartering and bargaining the matter was finally settled with the construction of the Teddy Miller Firehouse Basketball Court.

Built in the back of the firehouse the court was a godsend. Perfect for curing the restlessness that came with spending 12+ hours inside a building where you share space with two firetrucks and five other men. It was a good investment and the guys loved it. A lot of frustration had been worked out on that black top.

Robin ought to know. He was currently working out a little frustration of his own.

Not long after arriving at the fire station and having it out with his boss Robin was pulled onto the black top and into a one-on-one game with Emma. On the plus side the physical energy he was exerting helped blow off the steam that came with obsessing over the surrogacy issue. On the minus side it probably isn’t the best idea to run up and down a court after you’ve eaten two Belgian waffles covered in whipped cream and syrup. Barely 30 minutes in and Emma was thoroughly beating his ass.

Robin let out another groan as Emma sent another flawless shot from the three-point line, whooping as it sailed over his head and into the basket.

“That makes it what? 10-8 me?” she gloated.

“It’s 11-8 and you know it,” he panted, hands on his knees. Cardio had never really been his strong suit.

Emma breathlessly laughed at him as she ran after the basketball. “C’mon Robin. You’re playing like an old man.”

“I am an old man,” he shot back. When she threw a skeptical look over her shoulder he added, “On the inside at least.”

“Ha!” Will’s laughter came from the side of the court where he sat, bag of chips in hand as he watched them run up and down the court. “Be careful who you smack talk Swan. You might be offending our future boss.”

Robin rolled his eyes as he straightened up. “I’ll tell you what I told the captain. I have no interest in wearing a white shirt and badge.”

“For now,” Emma added smugly, running up with the basketball. “Just wait until your kid is born. Pretty soon that pay raise and eight-a-day starts looking pretty good.”

“Is that so?” challenged Robin, raising his eyebrows at her. “You have a kid and I don’t see you lining up to be the lieutenant around here.”

“My situation is different,” replied Emma. She tucked the basketball under her arm showing off the before continuing in a business-like manner. “I only have Liam for four days a week so the 12 hours a day, 3 days a week schedule works best for me. On the days I’m off he can have my full attention. And on the days that I’m here… he spends time with his father.” Her eyes dropped down to the black top. “It’s almost like he doesn’t even realize I’m gone.”

Her green eyes pulled back into that guilty, far off look that she always had when she talked about the father of her child and their complicated custody arrangement. She rapidly blinked and pulled herself back into reality.

“It’s the perfect system for us. But I assume you and Regina will have something different set up for when the baby comes.”  

“If the baby comes,” corrected Robin. “And we haven’t exactly reached that level of planning yet.” He gestured toward the bench. “Water break?”

“Sure,” she mumbled, walking toward the sidelines.

Will grinned at him. “I still can’t believe you she agreed to have a baby with you. Your persuasion skills must be through the roof.”

Robin nervously looked over his shoulder. “Would you mind keeping it down? We’re not exactly telling people yet.”

Will shrugged his shoulders. “I suspected as much seeing as how Belle hasn’t talked to me about it yet.”

“We’re just waiting until things are more in motion before we start letting people in on our plans,” explained Robin.

Will firmly nodded his head. “Understood.”

“What did you mean ‘if?’” Emma was staring at him, a thoughtful look in her eyes as she twisted the cap off a water bottle.

Robin turned to her. “What?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Earlier I said _when_ the baby comes you corrected me and said _if_ the baby comes. What is that about?”

Her tone was equal parts accusing and curious. It immediately sparked Robin’s need to deflect.

“It’s just a word choice,” he said shrugging his shoulders.

“A very telling one,” mumbled Will.

Robin glared at him while Emma continued to stare him down.

“Are you guys having some issues?” she asked.

“No,” he said, firmly staring her in the eyes.

She shook her head at him with a smirk on her face. “You are a goddamn liar.”

_Shit._

Everyone around the firehouse knew that Emma had an almost supernatural ability to spot a lie. If you stole her food from the fridge she’d know. If you were skipping a shift for bogus reasons she knew. And if you were hiding personal troubles behind a shrug and smile she could tell. The woman was a human lie detector.

Placing her hands on her hips she gave him an expectant look. “What’s the problem?”

Robin sighed and rolled his eyes. He could even see Will leaning forward with an intrigued look on his face. Just great.

“Nothing’s wrong… exactly. We’re just –” He stumbled over his explanation. “We’ve just started looking for surrogates and we’re not really on the same page.”

“Oh,” drawled Emma, her eyes widening in surprise. “That is… not what I was expecting.”

Robin narrowed his eyes at her. “And just what were you expecting?”

Emma helplessly shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. Scheduling. Or doctor stuff. Not surrogate choices. I didn’t even think you would still be doing that.”

“Yeah,” Will chimed in. “Swan and I just figured that since you and Regina would be parenting the little nugget together that she’d just… take care of that herself.” He ended his sentence by awkwardly gesturing to his middle in a circular motion.

“Well she isn’t,” said Robin. “We talked it over, Regina said that she didn’t want to carry our child and we decided that using an agency surrogate was the best choice for us.”

“Why?” questioned Will.

“Why what?”

“Why doesn’t she want to carry the baby herself?” he elaborated.

“Probably because pregnancy is hell!” commented Emma, with a wild look in her eye. “I do not blame her for wanting to skip it.”

Will rolled his eyes. “Oh come on Swan. It’s nature. It’s a beautiful process that allows the survival of our species.”

“‘It’s a beautiful process.’ ‘It nature,’” Emma repeated mockingly. “I swear to god that is shit that only a man could say. Pregnancy isn’t beautiful. You know what pregnancy is? It’s swollen feet. It’s nausea. It’s vomiting and mood swings and cravings. Not to mention the stretchmarks, aches and pains that come with the having your stomach swell out to the size of a basketball!”

She ended her rant by tossing the orange ball at his chest, causing him to spill his chips.

“Believe me if I’d had the foresight and spare income to pay someone else to carry my kid I would’ve,” she finished.

“Spare income?” said Will, struggling with the chips and basketball now in his arms. “How much does something like this even cost?”

Robin hesitated before responding to him. “I’m not going to lie. It’s a pretty decent chunk of money.”

“A decent chunk like a down payment on a car?” mused Will. “Or a decent chunk like a down payment on a castle?”

Robin tilted his head from side to side thinking it over. “A decent chunk like if I wasn’t using the money to have the baby I could be using it to send the baby to college.”

Will widened his eyes and let out an impressed whistle. “Wow.”

“And you can afford to pay that much?” Emma said skeptically.

Robin folded his arms across his chest. He’d never been fond of talking about money, his or anyone else’s. It would never cease to make him uncomfortable.

“Look,” he said, making his tone firm and clear, “the most I am going to say is that before they died my parents apparently made some very smart investments that my sister and I happened to inherit once we were of age. I am not going to elaborate further than that.”

Frankly, there wasn’t much else to say about it. Of course, it had come as a shock when Granny had pulled him aside after his eighteenth birthday and revealed just how much his parents had left behind for him and Belle. It was certainly more than he expected but it wasn’t as if he was fabulously wealthy. He couldn’t live off the money for the rest of his life and he had no desire to. Instead he’d stored it away for a rainy day and, obviously, that rainy day had finally arrived.

“So you can afford it?” Emma repeated.

Robin nodded his head. “Yes,” he sighed. “Especially now that Regina will be covering half the cost.”

“And see that’s just what I don’t understand,” said Will shaking his head. “Now I’ve only met her a few times but Regina seems like a practical woman. Very level headed and smart. Why would a woman that practical spend that much money just to avoid carrying her own child?”

“Well it’s not like it’s such a hardship for her,” said Emma. “She’s a Mills. It’s not like she’s hurting for money.”

Robin clenched his jaw in annoyance. He always hated when people reduced Regina to her family name, and wealth. The Mills were one of Storybrooke’s oldest families. They could trace their lineage back to the Mayflower. And their money even further. For hundreds of years Storybrooke had always had a Mills in a position of power. Mayors, councilmen, judges. They were practically a monarchy. Robin knew it was a reputation that had always weighed heavily on Regina’s shoulders. In many ways, she worked hard to live up to that name. And in other ways she’d tried very hard to escape it. She’d always strived to more than just “that Mills girl.” And Robin didn’t like anyone defining her that way.

“It’s not about comfort or money,” declared Robin, his tone harsh and rough. “There’s a deeper reason that that.”

A moment of silence passed as both Will and Emma stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate further.

“And that reason is what?” questioned Emma, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know,” Robin replied pitifully. He sighed and shook his head. “She hasn’t talked to me about it.”

“Well have you asked her?” said Emma.

“No,” Robin said firmly. When Emma sent him a disapproving look he raised his hand to stop her. “Look, I know everyone looks at her and sees this smart, level-headed person but honestly, she probably feels more in day than most people feel in a month. She’s… complex and if you don’t know her she’s damn near impossible to understand.” He paused. “I’ve known her twenty plus years she still manages to trip me up every once in a while. But one thing has always remained true: _nothing_ good comes from pushing her. If there’s another reason she doesn’t want to carry this baby she’ll share it with me when she’s ready. Until then I’ll respect her wishes.”

“Alright, alright,” said Will. “I get it. Her decision-making process is complicated. I am, however, still left with one question.”

Robin rolled his eyes in annoyance. “What, Will?”

Will stared him down. “If she did want to carry the baby, would you let her?”

Robin hesitated before answering. Both Emma and Will stared him down, practically on the edge of their seats as they waited for him to answer. It was a loaded question and he knew whatever answer he gave they would jump to conclusions. In the end he squared his shoulders and firmly replied, “Yes. If Regina wanted to carry the baby… I would let her.”

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Regina had always been a wanderer. It was one of those childhood habits that she’d never grown out of.

She enjoyed aimless walks and pointless car rides. They cleared her head and allowed her to think. Which was just what she needed to do after her talk with Mal.

After getting through court that afternoon she decided to talk a walk. She wasn’t needed back in the office and the park was nearby anyway.

It was late October and gorgeous outside. The tree leaves were shades of orange and yellow. The winds carried a sharp chilling bite, making her button another loop on her thin jacket. Not that she minded. She always preferred the cold to the heat. It was easier to adjust to. Folding her arms across her chest for warmth she ambled down the sidewalk, retreating further into her mind with each step she took.

_Why not just carry the baby yourself?_

Those words had been repeating in her head for the last three hours and she couldn’t figure out why. It was just a question. One that she was struggling so hard to answer. She didn’t want to carry the baby because… her mind went blank. Like it did every time she’d tried to finish that sentence.

It made no sense. She and Robin had talked about this weeks ago. They would be using a surrogate. It was best. They agreed. She agreed.

Why had she agreed?

There were obvious advantages to the arrangement. There were less risks that came with having a younger woman carry the baby. Pregnancy wasn’t exactly the most pleasant experience. Avoiding it could be seen as a blessing. Not to mention if she wasn’t pregnant herself it would buy her more time to figure out a way to explain it to her family.

These were all very good reasons to not carry the baby herself. But they weren’t _the_ reason. She didn’t know what _the_ reason was.

She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the cyclist barreling toward her viciously ringing his annoying little bell. At the last second she hopped out of the way before he sideswiped her on his way past, throwing her a dirty look as he rode away. Gritting her teeth and sending him a glare of her own she debated tossing him the finger as well before she realized where she was.

She was at the pond.

The pond in the park.

The surface of the water shimmered as the wind blew over it, causing small waves to lap at the decorative rocks that surrounded the edge. She stood on the center of the bridge that crossed over the narrowest part of the pond.

The realization of where she was made a brick drop in her stomach.

This where he had proposed to her.

Daniel.

The memory of it washed over her like a bucket of cold water. Him, down on one knee, the flakes of an early spring snow beginning to fall into his dark hair as he presented her a small modest gold ring. Her, staring down at him, with her gut twisting because she hadn’t wanted to break his heart.

Once again her finger brushed over the spot where her wedding ring had been.

The fact that she was here made everything so clear.

It was Daniel. He was the reason.

Feeling her knees grow a bit weak she reached out to grab the bridge’s iron railing. As she let out a slow shaky breath another memory began to play behind her closed eyes. Her and Daniel in that crappy Brooklyn apartment they’d rented, lying in bed together. Only two weeks after the doctor’s diagnosis. His arms had been around her and she’d been stroking her thumb across his cheek to comfort him. It was the day they’d chosen to adopt. Lying there in his arms she’d promised him that no matter how much she wanted to carry a child, she only wanted to carry a child that was his and no one else’s. And if she couldn’t have that then she’d rather not be pregnant at all.

And she’d meant it. She’d really meant it… then.

But now… now Daniel was gone and the truth was that she did want to carry her child with Robin. She wanted to be the one to have the cravings, and feel the kicks and grow her baby’s life inside of her. She wanted it. She didn’t want to want it but she did.

But even if Daniel was gone her promise still remained. And that’s why she’d agreed to the surrogate.

Tears fell down her cheek as she realized just how much guilt she’d been carrying about having a baby without him.

“Well look who it is,” said a cheerful voice.

Her black hair blowing in the wind, Regina turned to see a stout old woman with silver grey hair, copper-rimmed spectacles and a cane. She quickly swallowed her guilt and forced a smile on her face.

“Oh hello Granny,” she said in surprise.

There was no woman on Earth that Regina respected more than Eugenia “Granny” Lucas. The definition of a force to be reckoned with Granny had been Regina’s nanny from when she was a baby to when she entered middle school. She’d baked her cookies when she wanted them and knocked sense into her when she needed it. And the fact that she was the reason Regina even met Robin  made her extra grateful for her existence.

Regina tried to subtly wipe away her tears but Granny wasn’t fooled. The crow’s feet around her eyes crinkled as she adjusted her glasses and narrowed her eyes at the younger woman’s cheeks.

“What’s with the water works darling?” she asked.

Regina forced a smile to stay on her face as she waved off Granny’s concern. “Nothing,” she lied. “It’s just a bit chilly out. The wind is getting in my eyes.”

She wrapped her arms around herself for emphasis hoping it would be enough to deter an interrogation from her former nanny.

She should’ve known better.

For three seconds Granny silently stared her down. Her gaze being twice as chilling as the wind Regina had blamed for her chills. It was as if she could feel the old woman skulking around her soul, relentlessly searching for the source of her pain so she could board it up. She pulled her smile tighter, as if it would help.

The moment passed after a visible shiver ran down Granny’s spine. With the one hand that wasn’t resting on the top of her aluminum cane she pulled her cardigan tighter. “Well you’re right about that. It is a little chilly out.”

She looped her own arm around Regina’s and gently patted her on the arm. “Why don’t you help me to the nearest bench and we can sit and chat for a while?” she said warmly. “It’s been too long. Don’t you think?”

Regina nodded her head. “Of course.”

She set her hand over Granny’s and began guiding her to the other side of the bridge. As they walked she took in her appearance and frowned. Her former nanny was hardly dressed for the weather. The lace trim of her thin, floral-patterned dress fluttered in the wind and her blue cotton cardigan hardly seemed like it was helping. Regina considered taking off her own jacket and forcing it on Granny’s shoulders but she doubted it would do much good. Granny had always been a stout woman while Regina herself ran on the thin side. Besides, Granny would never allow such an act. She was still spry in her old age and determined to prove so to anyone who said differently.

Still…

“Granny, you really should be wearing a coat in this weather,” Regina said sternly. “You’ll catch your death in these winds.”

Granny rolled her eyes with practically teenage ease and waved off her concerns. “Oh please,” she said. “A chill in these old bones is good for someone my age. It reminds me I’m alive.”

Strands of her silver hair shook as she chuckled at her own audacity but Regina continued to give her a stern look.

“At least bring a scarf next time,” she ordered as they took a seat on a nearby bench.

“Oh fine, fine,” grumbled Granny. She sighed as she lowered herself onto the bench. “You know there was once a time when I was forcing you to put on your jacket.”

“I remember,” said Regina with a smirk. “It’s why I’m telling you to do the same now. You always did say it was polite to return favors.”

Again, Granny rolled her eyes. “I hate when you kids use my words against me.” She sighed and paused for a moment. “Did you have work today?” she asked.

“I have work every day,” sighed Regina, with exaggerated exasperation. “It’s going well though. I’m helping put away bad guys left and right.”

“Good girl,” praised Granny, a proud smile on her face. “You know of all my grandkids you were always the smartest.”

For a moment Regina basked in her praise until Granny sent her a knowing smile and added, “But you were also the worst at hiding when something was bothering you.”

Regina felt her heart clench at Granny’s words. For a moment, she was stunned into silence. Granny had always had a way of seeing through her at the worst possible moments.

Like a deer caught in headlights she didn’t know what to say. She settled for reminding her, “You know I’m not actually your granddaughter Eugenia.”

Granny only chuckled and shrugged her shoulder. “Maybe not by blood,” she admitted. “But in other ways, the ways that matter, you couldn’t be more mine. And I will always be able to tell when something’s bothering you. Now are you going to tell me what it is?”

“Granny…”

“And don’t you dare lie to me.”

Granny’s voice went firm and strict. She stared down Regina with a harsh look in her eye that screamed she wasn’t messing around. Suddenly Regina felt like she was eight years old again, standing in the park in her ripped dress, trying to avoid her nanny’s gaze as she tried to explain why she’d gotten into a fist fight with two little boys.

She bit her lip and gave her head a tiny shake. “It’s complicated…” she mumbled, lowering her voice.

“Whatever it is I promise you I’ve heard and probably done worst,” Granny assured her. “It’s not a man, is it? Because if it is I swear I will get my shotgun.”

Her playful threat brought out a small chuckle from Regina. She shook her head. “Well it is a man but in this case I don’t think a shot gun is gonna do much damage.”

Granny’s face softened. “Daniel?”

Regina’s gut twisted with guilt when she heard his name aloud. She couldn’t even speak. She just silently nodded her head. 

“Oh honey.” In an instant Granny wrapped a sympathetic arm around her. With it came an immediate comfort that only a grandmother could provide.

“What brought this on?” she asked.

“Like I said… it’s complicated. Too complicated to talk about,” stalled Regina, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. It wasn’t just that she couldn’t explain what was happening to Granny. It was also that she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Over the years she’d spoken with Granny about many awkward topics but even she had to admit “I’m debating whether or not to let your great-nephew knock me up out of wedlock and it feels like I’m betraying my dead husband” pretty much took the cake. She contemplated fabricating an emergency or appointment in order to make a hasty escape but Granny sent her a stern look, signaling that she wouldn’t be leaving this bench until she came clean.

Regina sighed before cryptically speaking, “When Daniel was alive there was… something I always wanted to do with him. And… for reasons I am unwilling to speak of… it always seemed… just out of reach for us. And I promised him that I would never want do that thing unless I could do it with him. And I meant it. I really did… but now… I have this opportunity to do this one thing that I’ve always wanted but without him here for it… I just feel…”

“You feel guilty for wanting it,” Granny finished for her, a twinge of sadness in her voice.

Regina remained silent. Her eyes had grown hot and itchy when she’d spoken. She blinked them twice to hold back the tears they threatened to spill.

Granny pulled her closer and affectionately tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a move that brought back so many memories of comfort and wiped away tears.

“Oh Regina,” she said softly.

“I just… I feel selfish,” she admitted. “Like I’m betraying him somehow.”

 “Well that’s just not true,” said Granny. “It’s not a betrayal to be happy.”

“But-”

“No excuses!” said Granny cutting her off. She shook her head with a fierce look in her eyes. “Regina you have such a big heart, why are you always struggling to make room in it for yourself?”

Regina swallowed hard. “I don’t know,” she said shrugging her shoulders. “It’s just hasn’t been a priority.”

“Well make it one,” Granny ordered. “The person who has the most control over your own happiness is you. I thought you learned that lesson with Daniel, in the first place?”

Regina helplessly threw up her hand and offended squeak coming out of her throat. “I did… it’s just… this is different.”

“Doesn’t seem like it to me,” said Granny. “It seems like you’re doing what you always used to do. Letting yourself be miserable because you think it might make someone else happy. B ut honey, I’m gonna let you in a little secret: the dead don’t wish for half as much as we think they do.”

Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“I’m serious. Don’t roll your eyes at me,” scolded Granny. “I’ve been around the block a few times, almost reached the end of my road more than once…”

“Granny, don’t say that please,” Regina softly begged.

“No it’s true,” said Granny. “I’ve had some close calls in the past few years and it’s made me realize that once you leave this world you’re not allowed to take baggage and specifics.”

She paused and adjusted her cardigan before continuing. “You know when you get to my age you start to think about it more and more. When you go and what you’re gonna leave behind. And you know what? All that matters to me is that you kids are happy. You and Ruby and Robin and Belle. Anita as well. I just want you all to be happy and taken care of. I don’t care how. I don’t care who with. I just want you all to be happy. Even if I’m not here to see it.”

She reached out to squeeze Regina’s hand and Regina could see a solemn acceptance in her eyes that she wished she wasn’t there. Granny was one of the oldest people she knew and if Regina was honest she knew that there was a strong chance Granny wouldn’t be around as long as she’d like her to be. It was an upsetting thought. One she immediately tried to push out of her head as Granny reached up to give her shoulder a comforting squeeze.

She peered at her through her old spectacles. “Now there’s nothing wrong with respecting his wishes but you can’t live your life trying to appease someone who’s no longer here. Regina you already made Daniel happy. The minute you decided to marry him. You’ve waited long enough sweetheart. It’s time to start thinking about you and what’s going to make you happy.”

Regina felt her throat grow thick as she listened to Granny’s words. It was sound advice. Just the type she needed to hear. But of course that’s what made it so painful.

Granny would always be the woman Regina respected most in the world but in that moment her words didn’t carry their usual weight. Even after their talk she still felt the weight of her own guilt pressing down on her shoulders and she didn’t know how to get it off.

XXXXXXXX

Robin never really liked the cold. In fact he hated it.

He hated the cold. He hated the snow. He hated dressing in layers. He completely hated winter and the cold. Seeing the leaves turn color was practically an omen for him. A sign of all the cold slush and itchy sweaters to come. And the worst part of it all was just how much time he was forced to stay indoors.

He still remembered the long, boring winter days he’d spent stuck in Granny’s house. She’d always seen winter as an opportunity for the family to take up indoor hobbies. Granny had her knitting, Belle had her books and Ruby would focus on her beauty experiments. But Robin never cared for indoor activities. Growing up he’d always been an outdoors child. Always wanting to run around and feel the sun on his face. Winter always made doing those things much harder.

It was the winter when he was twelve years old that Granny introduced him to an old friend of hers, Marco. High school carpentry teacher and masterclass woodworker.

Granny wouldn’t stand for restlessness in the house, especially not when it came in the form of a pre-teen boy constantly repeating “I’m bored” over and over. She arranged for his winter afternoons to be spent in Marco’s basement, helping him out with his woodworking for the prized reward of five bucks a day. And of course, he’d resisted at first but for a young boy the whirring of sharp tools and the hammering of nails was far too alluring to pass up.

He would’ve preferred to be outside but woodworking quickly became a way to make the indoors bearable. It was fun to use his hands in a new way. He worked with Marco to build cribs, carve doors and frames, even the occasional toy given the season. It helped passed the time and he turned out to be a quick study. Nowhere near as good as Marco of course but good enough to build presents for his family that they genuinely liked (and still used even twenty years later).

Ever since then he’d always managed to spend a decent chunk of the winter months working on some project to keep his hands busy.

Given all that he supposed it was unsurprising that he was currently situated in his garage buffing out the scratches on Granny’s old desk in order to prep it for a new coat of wax. Winter was coming up after all.

Or perhaps it wasn’t winter at all? Perhaps he just needed a distraction?

Working on Granny’s desk kept him focused on something other than the fact that Regina was coming over to pick out surrogates.

It was after eight and she’d be arriving any minute. He had to admit that he was nervous. After his game with Emma, he’d spent the rest of his free time picking out his top choices for surrogates. Looking through his copy of the binder he’d gone over each profile trying to see it through her eyes. Narrowing down the women by age and health and previous full-term pregnancies. He wanted Regina to be comfortable with the options he brought up and if seeing the women as nothing more than their most basic statistics helped her then so be it. It was the least he could do. Especially considering the call he’d gotten from Granny that afternoon.

It was 8:20 when he heard her knock on the door. He opened it to find her standing on his doorstep with a paper bag full of what he assumed was Mexican food judging by the smell.

She wrinkled her nose at him as she stepped into the house. “You smell like sawdust.”

“I’ve been working on Granny’s desk.”

She smirked at him. “Oh, is that time of year already?”

The sight of him in an old T-shirt with flecks of wood sticking to the fabric was a familiar one to her. It was a harbinger of winter and a sign that she would soon be getting a new bookcase or picture frame or some piece of wooden furniture to add to the ever-growing collection she’d amassed from him over the years.

With a sigh, she unbuttoned her jacket and headed toward the kitchen, her heels clacking against his hardwood floors. I brought over food from Diego’s so I hope you didn’t eat at the firehouse.”

“I always save room for Diego’s,” he said following her into the kitchen.

He leaned against the archway and watched as she pulled out the food and set it out on his old round kitchen table. She’d ordered one chicken burrito for him, with extra cheese and guacamole of course, an order of beans and rice for herself along with a side of tortilla chips for them to share. She set it out as if it was any other day. As if she was perfectly fine and not bothered at all. If he hadn’t known her so well he might’ve even believed that she okay. But sadly… he knew better.

He sighed before he spoke. “So I heard you had a bit of rough day.”

She looked up from the table with wide eyes. “What?”

“Granny called.”

Her lips formed a perfect “O” as she sunk into the nearest chair, her hand drifting toward her stomach. She hadn’t exactly planned on telling him about her little breakdown that day. In fact, she’d hoped she’d be able to keep it to herself. She should’ve known better.

Robin walked over to the table, dragged a chair closer to her and took a seat. “So… what happened?”

Regina bit her lip before responding. She softly shook her head. “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid if it makes you cry in broad daylight. I’ve known you long enough to know that,” Robin replied.

She rolled her eyes in a conceding manner. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I took a walk after court and… I ended up at the bridge.”

Robin raised his eyebrows in surprise. “The bridge by the pond? The one where he asked you to marry him?”

Regina nodded her head. “Yes, the one where he asked me marry him. Same one where I foolishly said no.”

He saw a flicker of pain flash behind her eyes and he immediately knew she was feeling the same spark of guilt she’d always felt when she thought of that night.

“Hey…” Robin gently admonished her. “You righted that mistake.”

Regina scoffed and her dropped her gaze down to her shoes. “Maybe,” she whispered. “But standing there… I just felt like I was breaking his heart all over again.”

She paused for a moment, the memory of her refusal playing over in the back of her mind. Him begging her to say yes and her crying that she couldn’t before rushing away from him. If there was one choice, one moment in her life that she could do over leaving Daniel alone on that bridge would be it. Not immediately running back to him when she did would be a close second.

Finally gathering the courage to look Robin in the eye she asked, “Do you ever think of Marian?”

A confused look instantly grew on his face. “Of course I think about Marian,” he replied. “Not a day goes by where I don’t.”

“Well I know that,” said Regina. “I just mean… do you ever think about how she would feel about what we’re doing? Having the baby I mean?”

Robin hesitated before answering her. He leaned back in his seat, his heart suddenly trapped in a vice grip. “Of course I have,” he softly admitted. “Every step of the way.”

“Do you think she’d be upset?” she asked meekly.

“No.” Robin immediately shook his head. “No, I don’t think she’d be upset at all.”

A line appeared between Regina’s eyebrows as she curiously knitted them together. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because we talked about it,” said Robin. His expression went grim as he paused for a moment, taking in a slow deep breath as if steeling himself for what he was about to talk about next. Then he continued, “In those last few months… when things were getting really bad and… the doctors were… when they were telling us to get things in order… she talked to me about it. Made me promise her that I would try to be happy in whatever way I could. She said it was all she wanted from me.”

Regina felt her throat grow tight as she nodded her head. “I remember.”

Another memory appeared in the back of her mind. And this time Daniel wasn’t present. Instead it was just her and Marian, sitting in a hospital room. Marian, looking small and frail as the heart monitor beside her bed steadily continued to beep. Regina, sitting in a chair next to her bed, some old paperback romance novel held in her hands as she read aloud to the woman next to her, trying to provide some small sense of escapism during their bleak reality. Lifting her hand to turn the page only to find it held down by Marian’s. Looking up to see her best friend’s wife looking seriously into her eyes and making her promise to take care him once she was gone. “Help him find a way to be happy,” she’d said in her weak, raspy voice. “He won’t be able to do it on his own.”

Surprisingly this was the first time she’d thought that back to that moment since they’d made their agreement. In a way she supposed she was living up to her promise.

“What about you?” asked Robin. “Do you think Daniel would be upset?”

Regina took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I know he loved me and he’d want me to be happy but…”

“But what?” asked Robin.

“But this was supposed to be ours,” she desperately admitted. “Having a baby together was our dream for so long. And when we found out we could never have one in the way that we wanted… I think I started to downplay just how much the experience would’ve meant to me.”

In that moment it was like a switch went off inside of her. Everything she’d been holding back suddenly poured out of her.  

“The truth is… I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted it so badly I used to dream about it. When I found out that I couldn’t be pregnant with his baby it was devastating for both of us but for Daniel it carried so much more weight. He was never going to have this thing, this experience that he always wanted us to have together and I think that when I saw how much it was hurting him, how disappointed he was…I just wanted to carry a piece of that pain for him. So I downplayed it. Told him it didn’t matter, told myself it wasn’t important. We’d just have a baby another way. And I meant it. I really did.”

Her voice grew increasingly wobbly with each sentence, finally breaking on her final three words. Robin was stricken upon the sight of tears welling up in her brown eyes, threatening to spill over to her cheeks as she continued to speak.

“But now… now Daniel’s gone and we’re trying to have a baby together and I’m excited about that. I really am but I… I just….”

“You still feel like you have to carry his pain,” Robin solemnly finished for her.

“Yes,” she softly hissed. Running her fingers through her hair she took a deep breath to calm herself. She felt Robin’s hand reach out to rub the small of her back in a comforting gesture. It helped. She paused for another beat before softly admitting, “I wanted to say yes.”

Robin narrowed his eyes at her in confusion. “To what?”

“When we first agreed to this you asked me if I wanted to carry the baby myself,” she elaborated. “I wanted to say yes but… I felt like I couldn’t.”

“Because you’d think he’d be hurt if you did,” said Robin understandingly.

Regina nodded her head. “I felt guilty enough just having the baby without him. I thought that if I wasn’t carrying the baby myself then maybe it wouldn’t feel like such a betrayal to him.”

A tear fell down her cheek then. She hastily wiped it away but it’s presence didn’t go unnoticed by Robin. Looking around the room for a tissue of some sort, his eyes fell on the takeout bag. Beggars couldn’t be choosers. He dug through it and handed Regina a clean napkin to wipe her eyes with. She chuckled as he handed it to her but still she took it.

As she wiped away the tears from her eyes, Robin supportively rested his hand on her shoulder. “For the record… I don’t think any of this was stupid.”

She shook her head. “Robin, please. It’s ridiculous.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is,” she stressed. “It’s been five years… I shouldn’t…. I shouldn’t feel like this anymore. Like I’m still trying to hold onto the life we had together. It’s crazy.”

“It’s not crazy,” he assured her. “And I get it. Believe me I get it.”

And he did. Losing someone was never easy but letting go of them was always much harder. You couldn’t do it all at once. It happened in bits and pieces. And the dreams and promises always seemed to be last to go. Probably because most of the time you didn’t realize you were still holding onto them.

Robin swallowed hard before speaking again. “Regina if you… want to take a break from this and sort things out I’d understand.”

Regina immediately shook her head. “No! That isn’t what I want.  I just…” She sighed and took a breath. “It’s just that this whole thing has made me realize that I’ve been living more of my life for Daniel than I realized. It’s been five years and every time I smile I still feel guilty that he wasn’t there to see it. And I can’t like that anymore. It’s time I start choosing to be happy for me and thinking about what I want. So if you don’t mind… I think I want to carry the baby myself.”

Robin’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes,” she said, nodding her head. “And I know it’s not what we planned and it might make things more complicated-”

“I want you to do it.”

Regina stopped mid-sentence, her eyes widening in surprise at his lack of hesitation. “Really? You’d be okay with it?”

“Yes,” he said, with a firm nod. “Honestly we weren’t getting anywhere with the surrogates anyway. And I could tell you weren’t comfortable with the idea even though you agreed. Besides you’re my best friend. If being pregnant is going to make you happy then I would love for you to carry our child.”

His voice was steady and sincere as he spoke. One look in his blue eyes and she knew he meant every word he said. He really was okay with it. He wanted her to carry their baby. With that knowledge a weight lifted off her shoulders and a warm feeling started to swell up in her chest.

Regina’s lips pulled into a smile. “Thank you Robin.”

“Of course,” he said, sending her a gentle smile of his own. “Now do you think we can start eating? I think the food’s getting cold.”

She chuckled at his immediate change of subject. “Sure,” she said, nodding her head with a grin. “And if the food is cold we could just reheat it over the surrogacy binders, which I’d be happy to set fire to.”

It was Robin’s turn to laugh then. “See I know that as a fireman I should probably give you lecture on the dangers of playing with flames but part of me really just wants to see those profiles burn.”

Things grew more lighthearted then as they laughed together. The seriousness of their earlier conversation drifted away as the night went on. They relaxed together. Tossed the surrogacy binders into the trashcan with glee – Robin was still a firefighter after all – and got back to focusing on their excitement for the future. With the surrogacy issue no longer hanging over their heads their stalemate was officially over. And when Regina finally left for the night they both felt assured and optimistic about the direction of their choice.

In fact, it wasn’t even until they both woke up the following morning that either of them started to worry about just how their baby would end up being conceived.


	3. Chapter 3

_It was Saturday morning and gorgeous out. The birds were chirping and the fall air was crisp. The sun had risen past the skyline and was casting a beautiful glow over the small sleepy town Robin called home. He sat on the bench outside of Granny’s diner, one coffee in hand and another beside him along with a small box of donuts. Honey-glazed. Regina’s favorite._

_He leaned back as he waited for her to show up. He was relaxed. Probably more relaxed than he’d been in weeks. It had been three days since they’d decided to not to have a surrogate. Regina had chosen to carry their baby herself and honestly Robin found himself relieved by her choice. Not only would they no longer have to endure the grueling process of searching for a surrogate but this way he’d be able to be more involved in the pregnancy. She’d be close by, able to depend on him for stress management and cravings. He’d be there for every milestone and kick, and it’d just be the two of them. Having Regina carry the baby meant he had a better chance of a more intimate experience than he’d previously expected and that thought excited him._

_Now it all came down to how they would choose to conceive._

_After an awkward two-hour sex-ed class when he was eleven and an even more cringeworthy conversation with Granny two years later Robin had considered himself pretty well-informed on how babies were brought into this world. But, according to all the research he’d done in the last 72 hours, he realized that their options were a lot less limited than he’d previously assumed. He’d wanted to talk with Regina about all their options but hadn’t wanted to push her after her emotional decision with surrogacy. She was probably fretting over this decision even more than he as he was. Given that it was her body on the line the decision was mostly hers. It was best to let her have some space, let her wrap her head around the idea for a while._

_However, after giving it some thought he was sure that she’d choose to conceive their child through insemination. It was the simplest procedure, its chances of success were high and it was relatively inexpensive. They could even do it at home if that’s what she wanted. From what he’d read it seemed like it would be their best option._

_He’d planned casually bring up his findings this morning. They’d agreed to meet up before heading over to help Belle set up for Community Day and he figured he’d mention that he’d been looking into things and see how she reacted. Hopefully, she would be open to talking about it and they could come up with a plan to learn more over the next few days._

_He looked up when he heard her approaching footsteps. She waved hello to him, poorly hiding a yawn as she wiggled her fingers._

_“Tired?” he observed, offering the coffee he’d got for her._

_She nodded as she took it from him. “I was up late last night digging through old case files to search for precedent in a trial.”_

_“Any luck?”_

_“None whatsoever,” she sighed, clearly disappointed._

_She took another sip of her coffee and Robin looked her over as she did. She certainly looked tired. Beautiful, of course, but tired. Her hair was still tussled from sleep and she had on a pair of plain jeans and a purple knit sweater that she’d definitely thrown on at the last minute. Robin knew that Regina took her appearance very seriously, which is why casual clothes were almost always a clear sign of distress with her. The case she was working on must’ve been a big deal. If that truly was what had kept her up all night._

_“Let’s get going,” she said. “I don’t want Belle waiting for us too long.”_

_Robin nodded in agreement and they started walking toward the library together. For a while they engaged in a little mindless chit chat – gossiping about their friends and families, commenting on work. As they walked and talked Robin mentally searched for an opening to bring up the baby. But just when he was about to take the plunge, Regina beat him to the punch._

_“So… I’ve been doing some thinking,” she said. “You know, about our conversation on Wednesday?”_

_Robin nods his head and drawls, “Yeah…”_

_Here we go, he thinks to himself._

_“And since we’re not using a surrogate anymore I downloaded a period tracking app…”_

_Robin’s head whips toward her as his face twists up in surprise. “A period tracking app? They actually have those?”_

_Regina scoffs at him. “Of course they do! Robin they have apps for casual sex. You don’t think they have apps for this?”_

_“Fair point,” he concedes, with a shrug. “Why’d you download it?”_

_“I thought it would be useful in helping me keep track of when I was ovulating,” she stated matter-of-factly._

_Upon hearing her explanation Robin nodded his head in agreement, silently realizing that an app could be more than a little helpful to help her stay on top of things like that. It wasn’t as if he had any experience with it but it seemed like something that could be difficult to figure out on your own._

_“Anyway I put in a couple of past dates,” Regina continued, “…and it looks like I’ll actually be ovulating in a few days.”_

_Robin’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “So soon?”_

_“Yeah,” she breathed, nodded her head with a nervous smile. “And I was thinking that maybe, if you had no objections, we could try… conceiving?”_

_Suddenly Robin could hear his heart pounding in his ears. A part of him was excited about the prospect of finally getting started on their child’s conception, but another part of him was caught off guard at how quickly she wanted to get started. Conceiving? Already? She’d just said that she would be ovulating in a few days. Would they even be ready in time?_

_“I mean, we don’t really have a reason to wait, do we?” she pointed out, with a shrug of her shoulders._

_“Well… no,” Robin admitted, “But don’t you think it’s cutting it kind of close? I mean we haven’t even chosen a doctor to do the insemination yet. If that’s the procedure you’d even want to go with.”_

_Regina’s walking slowed to a stop when Robin brought up the word “insemination.” Her gaze flickered to the street and she took a quick breath before anxiously looking back in his eyes as he stopped beside her._

_“About that… I was thinking that we might actually try…conceiving naturally?”_

_Robin paused. He took a moment to let her words seep into his mind._

_“Conceiving naturally?” he asked._

_Regina nodded. “Yes.”_

_“As in… sex?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“…Oh.”_

_It was all he could manage to say. In that moment it felt like a gust of wind could’ve blown him over. Regina wanted to conceive naturally with him? Through sex? That was… unexpected._

_Pushed by his shocked silence Regina started to back track. “I completely understand if it’s too uncomfortable and you don’t want to do it-”_

_“I didn’t say that.” He quickly cut her off with a shake of his head. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking again. “I’m actually… open to that possibility.”_

_“Really?” said Regina, a tiny bit of skepticism in her tone._

_“Of course,” he softly replied. “It’s just… not what I expected to hear from you. After we talked I thought you’d want something… less complicated. I thought for sure we’d end up doing insemination.”_

_“And I thought that’s what I wanted too,” said Regina. “But I’ve just been going over it in my head these past few days and what would really be the point of that? Why should we go to the doctor and pay hundreds of dollars just to accomplish something that we could do ourselves? The more I think about it the more it feels like just another unnecessary complication.”_

_And it really did. After her realization of how much hell she’d put herself through because of her guilt over Daniel and the pregnancy Regina had made herself a promise to make sure the rest of her decisions were based on what she wanted and what she what she was comfortable with. Nothing else. And the more she thought about it the more she knew insemination wasn’t what she wanted. For the past three days she’d hardly done anything but mull over the different ways she could conceive her child. She’d practically been glued to her laptop. Her coffee table at home was littered with research she’d printed and pros and cons lists she’d written out._

_She’d gone over it a million times in her head and always came to the same conclusion: she wanted a natural conception._

_“So…” she drawled, looking up at Robin with anxious eyes. “What do you think?”_

_Robin hesitated before answering her. He had been telling the truth before. He was open to conceiving their baby the old-fashioned way but her decision to do so caught him off guard. For as long he’d known her Regina had always been one to take her time and think out her decisions. It was both the most endearing and irritating thing about her, and certainly not a thing he would expect or want to change. Especially not now.  This decision seemed to come out of nowhere and that wasn’t like her._

_He and Regina had been friends nearly all their lives. He didn’t want to risk complicating that on a whim. If they made this choice he wanted to make sure that neither of them would regret it. Especially not her._

_“Well… are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, hesitantly. “Regina, we both know how important it is that things don’t get… uncomfortable or complicated. Not just for our friendship but for the baby too, if this works.”_

_“I realize that,” she said softly, nodding her head as she reached out to touch his shoulder. “But I trust you Robin. You’re my best friend. I’ve known you all my life and I trust that our friendship is strong enough to withstand a few nights of sex. Don’t you?”_

_It was a bit of a loaded question but if he went with his gut – and he usually did – his answer would have to be yes. Even if things got complicated he trusted that he and Regina would be able to work through it. They always had in the past._

_He stared into her eyes searching them for even an ounce of uncertainty but he saw none. She was sure. And that meant he was too._

_He took a deep breath and firmly nodded his head. “Okay. I’m in.”_

_A wide grin split her face as her eyes lit up. “Really?”_

_“Yes,” he answered confidently. “Let’s make a baby together.”_

_\----------------------_

Regina was not sure.

Stripped down to nothing but her underwear, she stood in front of her full-length mirror examining herself from every possible angle. Critically she ran her eyes over every inch of her skin, taking in every tiny imperfection with a small self-conscious groan. She knew she was being ridiculous but she couldn’t help it. She was nervous.

Tonight was the night.

Tonight she and Robin would finally try conceiving the baby.

That morning she’d taken an ovulation test and ever since she’d been prickling with a strange mixture of excitement and apprehension. Excitement over the fact the she could possibly be getting pregnant that night but apprehension over the fact that it required her best friend to see her naked. Not to mention that she would be seeing him naked as well. She hadn’t been able to think of anything else all day.

She sighed, as she turned to examine her back side once again. Regina knew that she had a good body. She wasn’t in the best shape of her life but she was still healthy at leaning a little more toward the thinner side than most. Her skin, while carrying a few scars and growth marks from her childhood, was relatively blemish free. And as she stood in front of her bedroom mirror, dressed in the new lacy black underwear and bra she’d bought, she could honestly say that she looked good. Sexy even. 

The problem was that she wasn’t able to see herself through her own eyes. All she could do is fret over Robin’s possibly negative opinion. For the past hour she’d been torturing herself over whether he’d find the scar above her hip a turn off. Or if he’d think her hips were to bony. Or not bony enough even.

Oh god, what if wasn’t even attracted to her all? What would they do then?

She turned away from the mirror in frustration, pulling on an old t-shirt and slipping into some yoga pants before collapsing backwards onto her bed. Robin would be over any minute now. She blew out a nervous breath. 

Goddamn it, why had she agreed to this?

\---------------

Why did he agree to this?

Robin stood in front of the building to Regina’s apartment, staring up at her window, taking a deep breath before finally heading inside to the elevator. He’d been sweating bullets ever since she’d called to tell him that she was finally ovulating. His heart had been pounding out of his chest the entire time they’d talked, making plans to meet up later that night.

They were finally going to start trying for a baby. He couldn’t believe the moment had come so fast. And he couldn’t believe they were doing it naturally.

He’d been friends with Regina for years. And he’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t, once or twice, imagined what it would be like to have sex with her but he never thought that he’d one day get the chance to experience the real thing. And especially not for this purpose.

Robin had never been one to overthink things but standing in the elevator on the ride up to her floor he couldn’t help but run through all the ways this could end badly. What if it was awkward? Or worse unsatisfactory?

The fact that it’d been a while for him was something Robin couldn’t help but focus on. He hadn’t been with anyone since Marian and three years is more than a long time. What if he wasn’t as “skilled” as he’d once been.

He reached Regina’s door before he was ready. Swallowing his anxiety he knocked on it as casually as he could.

She opened it and within seconds he could tell she was nervous. There was a smile on her face but anxiety in her eyes as she waved him into the apartment. She wasn’t dressed up, not that he expected her to be. She had on an old t-shirt that was a size too large and pair of stretch yoga pants with her hair up in a ponytail. If it was any other day he would’ve guessed that she was going to bed. In a way he supposed he was.

“So…,” he softly drawled, sticking his hands in his pockets as she closed the door behind him.

“So…,” she repeated, gently nodding her head with a smile.

Neither of them had a follow up. They just stood there staring at each other, neither of them knowing just how to proceed or who should make the first move. _It should be me_ , Robin thought to himself. He was a man and the baby had been his idea first. But he quickly squashed that notion. It was better if he let Regina make the first move. At least that way he’d he wasn’t moving too fast.

He was still continuing this internal debate when Regina shrugged her shoulders and let out a deep breath. “Did you want music?”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “Hmm?”

“To help set the mood,” she clarified.

Stepping around him she walked over to her bookcase, where she inexplicably kept a collection of old CDs.

“I haven’t bought an album in years but I have some things left over from before the age of the iPod that might still be good.” She could feel her cheeks grow hot as Robin continued to stare while her fingers nervously ran over the plastic cases of her music collection. She knew she was acting like a teenager before her first time and she hated it. Sadly, the knowledge of how strange her behavior was didn’t stomp out her anxiety; it only added fuel to the flame. She fixed her eyes on the CDs and before she knew it she was listing off all the artists’ names as suggestions.

“I have an old Sade tape, some Norah Jones,” she babbled. “Even an old Barry White album that for the life of me I can’t remember buying but still seems sensual enough.”

Her babbling stops in its tracks when she feels Robin’s hand on top of her own, causing her fingers to cease their travels along the CD cases. Swallowing hard she turns to look into his eyes and finds them filled with hesitancy and anxiousness.

“Regina…” he softly says. “This is so… awkward.”

She closes her eyes as a whoosh of her relief goes through her body. 

“Thank you for saying it first,” she replies, giving her head a small shaking. She steps back from the bookcase and sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair. “God, this is terrifying.”

“I know,” groaned Robin. “I never thought meeting up with my best friend for sex could lead to this much tension.”

She laughs at that and it makes Robin glad. He didn’t know what possessed him to admit how uncomfortable their situation made him but something about seeing her so obviously thrown off by what they planned to do ignited this urge to make sure that she knew she wasn’t alone in that feeling. It had helped. Robin could feel the earlier tension in the room slip away as they laughed at the anxiousness they both felt.

As their chuckles subsided Regina blew out a deep breath and clicked her tongue. “Robin before we do this I think I’m gonna need a quick round of T&T.”

He smiled at her as he nodded his head in agreement. “You still have the shot glasses?”

“And the tequila,” she answered with a smirk. 

Robin chuckled with excitement as they made their way to the kitchen with matching grins on their faces.

T&T was short for Truth and Tequila, a drinking game they’d created when they were nineteen years old. Regina had returned home from Columbia for fall break, while Robin had stayed behind opting not to go to college at all. They’d kept in touch through email but they hadn’t actually seen each other in months. Their reunion had been stilted and awkward. In the months away they’d both changed and that had made it hard to reconnect with each other. Finally after a few days of dealing with the distance Robin had invited her to Granny’s after closing hours, and they’d raided the liquor supply together. A shot of tequila for a shot of honesty. Regina was able to reveal that college had been lonelier than she expected and Robin was able to admit that he still felt lost over what to do next with his life. T&T was their solution for whenever they felt one another drifting away. They’d done it many times since that night in the diner – the last time being four years ago, when Robin had first discovered Marian’s cancer – and it had never failed to bridge the gap between them. He couldn’t think of anything better to help them overcome the pressure of the night ahead.

Half a minute later they were sitting at the kitchen table, a shot glass in both of their hands and a bottle of tequila in between them.

Regina slid the bottle his way. “Youngest always drinks first,” she smugly reminded him.

He rolled his eyes as he filled up his shot glass. Ever since they were kids she’d always gloated about how she was four months older than he was. Once he was finished the questioning began.

“Why don’t we start with something easy?” she said. She took a breath before confidently asking, “How are you feeling?”

Robin immediately downed his tequila, grimacing as he felt it burn its way down his throat. “Nervous,” he admitted.

“Okay,” she said, nodding her head and not pressing him further. She grabbed the bottle and started pouring herself a shot. “Your turn.”

“Alright,” he replied. “How are you feeling, honestly?” he parroted.

She took a deep breath before tilting back her head and pouring the tequila down her mouth. She groaned when she felt the sting of the alcohol hit her insides.

“Like I’ll be calling into work tomorrow,” she joked. When Robin gave her a stern look she softly add, “And I feel even more nervous than you probably.”

“Fair enough,” Robin said solemnly, pulling the bottle over to him once again.

Regina paused for a moment while Robin poured himself another shot, silently thinking over what she wanted to ask him next. By the time he was done she’d finally settled on a question.

Seriously looking over at him she asked, “Are you worried at all about how tonight will affect our friendship?”

Robin took a second to think over his answer before taking his shot, and setting the glass down the table with a firm clink. “Not at all,” he said confidently.

“Really?” pressed Regina.

“Really,” he replied, with a nod of his head. “I’ll admit that I’m nervous about how tonight might go and the thought did cross my mind about how this could change things for us. But even when I think over all the worst, most unlikely scenarios none of them include losing you as a friend. No matter what happens tonight I need you in my life and I’m gonna make sure that doesn’t change. So no, I’m not worried about the future of our friendship.”

Regina let out a soft, relieved breath as she nodded her head. “Good.”

Hearing Robin’s thoughts on the matter had calmed her own. He was right. They were two mature adults, far too close to let anything that happened in that bedroom tear them away from each other. No matter what they’d find a way to handle it.

She started to pour herself another shot of tequila. “My turn,” she mumbled.

Robin pressed his lips together thinking of a decent question to ask her. Finally, he settled on one he thought was deep enough but still easy to answer.

“Is there anything specific that you’re worried about for tonight?”

Regina’s mind flashed back to the half hour she’d spend examining herself in her mirror. A blush rose in her cheeks, partly due to the tequila and partly due to the embarrassment she could feel crashing over her body. She squared her shoulders before drinking her shot, willing it’s harsh sting to fill her with courage before she spoke.

“I am worried… about my body,” she admitted, unable to look him in the eye. “I’m worried… that you won’t like it.”

God, it sounded even more pathetic when she said it aloud.

“Are you serious?” Robin asked. The tone of his voice was incredulous as he questioned her with narrowed eyes but she only responded with an embarrassed half shrug.

She couldn’t help but feel a little humiliated at her own self-consciousness. And it was only because she knew if it had been anyone else she wouldn’t have given a damn what they thought. But it was Robin and that meant something to her. Before this morning, she couldn’t have cared less what he thought but for tonight his opinions on her body mattered. And it was a fact that very much annoyed her.

At her silence, Robin leaned forward seriously looking her in the eye.

“Regina I promise you that you have an amazing body,” he said earnestly, only a hint of embarrassment in his tone. He’d known it since they were teenagers but never thought he’d have to say it aloud to her.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed at him. “Robin…”

“I’m serious,” he insisted. “You have nothing to be worried about in that department. You should see the looks you get when you stop by the firehouse for me. I practically have to hold the guys back with a leash.”

She snorted at that and gave her head a little shake. “I know,” she said. “And normally I wouldn’t be this self-conscious but it’s just… because it’s you. What you think matters to me and I know that in any other case you wouldn’t… be with me in this way so I’ve been a little worried about whether or not you could be attracted to me… at all.”

Robin was a silent for a few seconds as he thought over all she’d revealed to him. In a way he understood her apprehension. If she’d never seen him that way of course she’d expect the same from him. But honestly, her thoughts couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Well, we are playing T&T,” he said, boldly pouring himself another shot and leaning back in his chair. “Why don’t you just ask me?”

Regina stared him down, with a tiny smirk pulling on the edge of her lips. “Okay… have you ever been attracted to me? And if so, when?”

It was two questions in one, which wasn’t technically fair but after how honest she’d just been he was more than willing to indulge her. He steeled himself a bit before taking his third shot. He set down his glass on the table, letting clink once more as he forced himself to look straight into her eyes and admit, “Yes, I’ve been attracted to you before.”

He saw a flash of surprise go across her eyes, before a suspicious smile appeared on her face. “Really?”

“Yes,” he gently hissed, with a nod of his head. “It was the summer before junior year in high school and the other boys in town had started to notice… you.”

Regina scoffed. Given the way he was gesturing toward his chest area she doubted it was really _her_ the boys were noticing.

“And… I didn’t really get it,” Robin said with a shrug of his shoulders. “You were my best friend. I never really saw you that way but… there was this one day that we went swimming at your house. And you were wearing this black string bikini, and your skin was all tan and your hair was curly from the water and it just made me think… well now I get it.”

The alcohol was starting to hit him now. He could feel it’s warmth seeping into his muscles, relaxing him as it settled into his belly. He was grateful for it. It was keeping his minimal embarrassment at bay.

“For a moment… it was like you transformed before my eyes,” he softly confessed. He paused for a moment before sitting up in his chair and clearing his throat. “But then we went inside and you slipped on the tile floor, landed on your ass and I was brought right back to earth.”

He snickered as she let out an offended squeak and smacking him on the arm.

“You such an asshole!” she laughed, remembering the day he’d spoken of. “That hurt!”

“It was funny,” he insisted, through his own chuckles. “And it was good. It reminded me of who you were. That even with all the curves you were still my just best friend. Not some curvy angel sent from the heavens to seduce me.”

“Well that’s very sweet,” she said, rolling her eyes despite the sincerity of her words. She paused for a moment. “You’re still an asshole for laughing at me!”

“You fell so hard and so quick it was hilarious,” he said, still grinning at the memory. He sighed before looking over to her. “So what about you? Have you ever been attracted to me?”

Regina playfully groaned and threw her head back. It was her turn now. She quickly downed another shot of tequila – already feeling the heady effects of the first two – before nodding her head at him.

“Yes, I’ve been attracted to you before,” she easily admitted. “All through high school all the girls were calling you this huge dreamboat and I just couldn’t see it.  You were Robin, my skinny best friend, the boy who played tea party with his sister until he was 10. I seriously thought they were all blind. To me you were just Robin and it was hard to see you any other way.”

“This all super flattering,” Robin sarcastically remarked with a smirk.

“But…” she drawled, admonishing his interruption with a sloppy wag of her finger. “Then I came back from college and saw you. And… you’d changed.”

She said it with a simple shrug of her shoulders but she still remembered the subtle reaction she’d had to Robin when she’d came home from college. The flicker of surprise that had passed through her when she’d seen him for the first time in months.

“You’d been working with that construction crew all semester so your man muscles had started to come in and you’d were growing the stubble for the first time,” she giggled as she gestured toward his chin, where he still kept a healthy amount of facial hair. “I don’t know, I saw you and it was like a switch went off. I thought… goddamn it, he really is hot! Those bitches weren’t blind, I was!”

Robin burst into laughter then and she quickly joined him.

“I felt like an idiot,” she said, still laughing a little. She shrugged. “But after a while, the surprise faded and you were still you. You were just hot now.”

“Good to know,” he said, regaining control of himself after the laughter. He reached for the tequila once again. “Alright, it’s your turn. Ask me something.”

“Okay,” she drawled, rolling her head to the ceiling trying to think of something work asking. She went with, “Have you told anyone what we’re doing tonight?”

“No,” he immediately answered, before taking his shot. He might’ve told Will and Emma about the plans for the baby but he hadn’t told either of them about their plans to conceive naturally. It was one thing he didn’t want their opinions on.

“Good,” she said firmly. “I think for now it’s best we keep this part to ourselves.”

“Agreed,” he replied. He paused for a second, internally debating whether or not to ask her a question that had been weighing on his mind for the past few days. He sat up straight in his chair and said, “Okay I have a question and it’s kind of personal.”

“It’s T&T,” she reminded him, her words slurring just the tiniest bit. “No holding back.”

“Okay,” he said, swallowing nervously before speaking again. “Am I the first person you’ve been with since Daniel?”

She went still at that and for a moment Robin wondered if maybe he’d overstepped. He saw her mentally arguing with herself over whether or not she wanted to answer him. In the end she steeled herself, downed another shot of tequila and shook her head. “No.”

Even though it had been five years since Daniel’s death Robin still found himself surprised by her answer. “No?”

“No,” she repeated. She paused and took a breath continuing. “I’ve had two… incidents… since Daniel.”

He gestured for her to elaborate and she did.

“About two years after I moved back to town I entered into… an arrangement…with Graham.”

Robin’s head reared back in confusion and surprise. “Graham? Wait, Graham Hubert? As in sheriff Graham?!”

“Yes and shut up!” she ordered, pointing a warning finger in his direction.

But Robin still couldn’t hide his disbelief as he stared at her with wide eyes. “Cries when he goes hunting Graham?”

She groaned and rolled her eyes. “For god’s sake, he was 12 when that happened Robin!”

“It’s still worth mentioning!” he said with a chuckle. She started to glare at him and he tried to rein in his surprise. “But seriously, you guys had a thing?”

“Yes,” she sighed, reminiscing in boredom. “I needed to go over some evidence for a case, we met up and… things just happened. And then they kept happening. It wasn’t like we were dating though,” she quickly assured him. “It was just…”

“Booty calls?” Robin plainly supplied.

She glared at him in annoyance. “I wouldn’t put it that indelicately but yes. Anyway, it lasted a few months until he moved for that new job in Boston. And I haven’t been with another man since.”

Robin tilted his head in confusion. “I thought you said there was two incidents?”

“There were but Graham was the only other _man_ I’d been with,” she stressed. She sighed before continuing. “A few weeks after I started my job Mal and I had… a moment.”

Robin leaned forward in his seat. “A moment?”

Regina let out a soft moan before quickly continuing. “There was no sex… but there was light hand play.”

Robin’s jaw dropped as his eyes widened. “At the office?”

“No!” she immediately refuted. “It was here, after a few glasses of wine. It was practically over before it even started. We’ve never even talked about it since.”

“Wow,” breathed Robin, settling back into his chair. “I can’t believe you never told me any of this.”

Regina shrugged her shoulders in an “I don’t know” gesture. “Robin, it wasn’t like I was hiding any of it. I just…” She paused and took a breath. “It was private. And they… weren’t what I had with Daniel but they made me feel good. They were what I needed at those moments.”

Robin nodded his head but stayed silent for a moment. “I hope you know I’m not judging you,” he said softly but sincerely. “I just wish you had talked to me about it.”

“I know,” said Regina, nodding her head in agreement. She understood what he meant. And honestly, there had been moments after both of those encounters where she’d wanted to talk to him at the time she’d barely been able to wrap her head around what happened with Mal. And the entire time she was with Graham Marian had been sick and she hadn’t wanted to distract him with something so frivolous. In the end so much time had passed and neither encounter seemed important enough to bring up.

She tilted her head toward him. “What about you? Will I be the first person you’ve been with since Marian?”

Robin apprehensively licked his lips before swallowing another shot of tequila. “Yes, you will be,” he softly admitted, to Regina’s complete lack of surprise. “And to be perfectly honest, that fact makes me… a little nervous.” His gaze dropped down to his shot glass. “I’m afraid I might be… a little out of practice.”

Regina gave her head a slow nod as she stared at him from across the table. After a moment she pursed her lips and in low voice she said, “I’ll be the judge of that.”

He looked up at her and everything went still as they locked eyes. Her heart pounded in her chest as she stood from her chair and slowly walked over to his side of the table. She nervously bit her lips as she stared down at him, taking a deep breath.

“We can go slow,” she promised softly. “Take it step by step.”

She let her hand fall over his, searching his face for any sign of discomfort. There was none. He softly squeezed her hand and nodded his head. “Okay.”

“Good,” she whispered, smiling down at him. With a little hesitation she slowly lowered herself into his lap until she was seated with the side of her body against his torso, holding her breath as she cautiously laid her arm around his shoulder. Her face was only a few inches from his when she quietly asked, “Is this good for now?”

He nodded, whispering, “Yeah that’s fine.”

She lets out her breath then and takes a moment, letting them both get comfortable with their new intimate proximity. She sees him swallow hard and press his lips together before carefully bringing his hand to rest over her thigh. A small jolt of electricity runs through her at his touch but she tries to keep a straight face for him.

“Are you comfortable with this?” he asks, a timid look in his eye.

“Yes,” she says, nodding her head. “I promise I’ll let you know when I’m not.”

She sees a flash of relief pass behind his blue eyes as he whispers, “Good.”

She stares down at his face, positively transfixed by the moment. Their eyes remained locked on each other as the air between them grows electric in the silence. A bomb could go off ten feet from them she doubts she’d even turn her head in its direction. She swallows thickly once she sees his eyes drop down to her lips, knowing he’s feeling the same pull that she is. Her heart pounds in her chest as he leans forward, unsure with every inch he moves. She helps him along, closing the space between them until his lips are finally against hers. He kisses her gently at first, making it clear that she can back out at any time but she doesn’t want to and she lets him know it, allowing herself to melt into the kiss. She can still taste the tequila on his lips but she doesn’t mind it. In fact she’s grateful for it. With alcohol pulling at the edges of her mind she can’t overthink this moment – it’s purpose or it’s potential –  all she can do is feel.

A sensual moan erupts from the back of her throat, just the signal Robin needs to no longer hold back. His fingers slip from her thigh up to her waist pulling her closer, sparking goosebumps across her skin as they go. She subtly runs her tongue against his bottom lip until he allows her entrance into his mouth, the scent of his cologne only heightening her desire as she breathes him in. His hands are rough with callouses from his work but they make every touch tantalizing as they slowly move from her waist to under her shirt to making contact with her bare skin. Her breath catches in her throat as this new sudden sensation but it only makes her want him more. She can feel heat begin to pool between her thighs as he continues to pull her closer. It’s as if she can’t get enough of him. The feeling of his hands against her skin, the taste of his tongue – all she wants is more.  And she’s not gonna get it on this kitchen chair.

She pulls back from him, breaking their kiss, to quickly ask, “Bedroom?”

He nods and she’s off his lap then, pulling his hand, guiding him out of the kitchen and toward her room. Now that they’ve separated the gears in her brain creak back into action. Her and Robin. She can’t believe this is happening. She can’t believe it feels this good.

They’re in her room within seconds and his lips are back to hers, hungry with desire as his tongue slips back into her mouth. His hands slip up to her back pulling her closer, pressing her chest into his. For a while all they do is kiss, taking a moment to simply enjoy the feeling of their bodies close together and their lips against each other and she can’t complain –  Robin is an excellent kisser – but it’s not long before desire builds up and again she wants more.

Her hands slide down from his shoulders and slowly make their way to tug on the top button of his shirt. “Is this okay?” she mumbled against his lips.

“Yes,” he immediately hisses, before bringing her lips back to his. She gets to work then. With nimble fingers she slowly undoes every button, sure to let her fingers drag along the skin beneath as she goes, not once breaking their kiss as she works. When she gets to the last one she quickly shoves the shirt off his shoulders, slips it from his arms and lets it drop carelessly to the floor. She pulls back from him then, wanting to take him in and… “oh wow,” she breathes.

She hadn’t seen Robin shirtless in years and she had to say his torso was a thing of beauty. She hungrily ran her eyes down over his abs, their definition catching her off guard. Robin watched her reaction with a husky chuckle. “I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You definitely should,” she replies, leaning in to kiss him again, running the tips of her fingers down his chest as she did. She always knew Robin was in good shape but it’s another thing entirely to be able to feel the definition and rock-hardness of his abs against her hands. She lightly rakes her nails down his chest and to his stomach, not enough to hurt but enough to make his muscles tighten with anticipation. He groans into their kiss and his hands slip under the hem of her shirt once again, sending shivers down her spine with his teasing touches. She wishes he’d take it off himself but knows he wouldn’t. Not tonight. She reaches down for the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head in instant. Once it’s gone, Robin’s eyes immediately fall down to her chest and she mentally thanks herself for taking that afternoon trip to Victoria’s Secret over the weekend. She sees a fire light in his eyes. The black lace was clearly doing its job.

“I’m starting to see what made all the high school boys so crazy,” he joked.

She rolled her eyes with a chuckle. “Nice to know I’ve still got it.”

He steps closer to her, dropping his hands to her waist, pulling her into him. “Seriously Regina,” he says breathily, “you look… incredibly sexy right now.” He reached up to run his fingers through her hair, releasing her ponytail and letting it all fall down to her shoulders. “Positively stunning.”

In that moment all her self-consciousness evaporates as she stares him in eyes, listening to him praise her body. But she doesn’t want to talk right now. She wants to feel. His arm tightens around her waist against, pressing them closer together and she brings her lips back up to his, relishing in the feeling of them against her own. They take their time, slowly and languidly drinking each other in. He runs his hands down her back and she enjoys the feeling of his palms against her skin. Suddenly she feels the back of her knees hitting the mattress on her bed. It surprises her, she didn’t even realize they’d been moving away from the door. 

Their lips part then and her hands slip down from her shoulders to the edge of his jeans, her fingers running along the circle of his waist and until they meet right above his belt buckle. Robin can take a hint. He removes his hands from her back and undoes his belt, letting his pants drop down to the floor. She follows his lead, slipping out of her yoga pants she climbs onto the bed and gestures for him to join her which he does, happily climbing on top of her. His eyes lock onto hers and for a moment everything in the world goes still. She smiles up at him, caressing his arms as he holds himself above her. It feels good, having his weight on top of her. He runs his thumb along her jaw and smiles back, before leaning down to kiss her.

Neither of them was inexperienced with sex. They’d both made love and they’d both been fucked. And they both knew the difference well enough to know that what they were doing didn’t fall into either category. It certainly wasn’t clinical liked they’d planned but it also wasn’t tender or emotional like making love. Nor was it passionate or desperate like fucking. It was, in the best definition, exploration.

Every moment, every touch was a new discovery and they relished in it far more than they thought they would. They’d been friends for too long to never have thought about this moment. So many scenarios of how it could happen and how it could feel had entered their heads over the years. And now that it was finally here neither of them wanted to leave any mysteries unsolved.

Regina savored the feeling of Robin’s hands running up the back of her thighs, the rough callouses of his palms a pleasant surprise. Robin’s heart raced at the soft moans he could hear every time he pressed his lips against her neck. She sounded breathier than he’d imagined but oh so enticing against his ear.

Every move was a mixture of hesitation and encouragement. Baby or not, Robin wanted there to be no regrets for tonight. Each step he took he paused, silently waiting for her permission which she eagerly gave. As his tongue continued to explore her mouth, he ran his hand up her thigh, past her hip to the top hem of her satin panties. Just barely slipping the tip of his thumb underneath the elastic, he softly caressed the skin that resided there until her hand joined his, tugging on the edge until he got the memo and slid them down her legs.

Regina let out deep heaving breaths as Robin pulled his lips from hers and started kissing his way over to her ear. His left hand was slowly trailing down her stomach when she heard him whisper, “Are you sure?”

She took another deep breath before pressing her forehead against his and softly hissing, “Yes.”

This was happening.

Robin’s hand continued its daring journey across her skin, tracing a line around her navel and ending between her legs. Regina’s chest was heaving as he settled his hand on her inner thigh, drawing lazy circles so close to where she most yearned for his touch. She sucked in a deep breath when she felt him finally feel her.

Robin groaned into her neck as he felt her, hot and slick against his finger. God, she was wet for him.

Involuntarily, Regina drew her legs further apart, wanting him to have as much access as possible as he teased her entrance with his finger. Her hands moved to grips his shoulders and pull his body closer to hers. She needed more of him.

Once he was sure she was ready, he pulled his hand from between her thighs and she lamented its loss until she felt the tip of his cock in its place. She let out a desperate moan at its presence. Every inch of her was tingling with need as he ran the head against her, hissing as he tested her yet again. Letting out a deep breath he pushed inside of her. Using every bit of restraint he had he forced himself to pause after the tip. She felt like a dream around him. Tight and hot. He never imagined she could feel this good.

A deep moan flew from Regina’s throat as when she finally felt him inside of her. He paused and she ran her hands down his back to just above his hips so she could pull him closer, force him deeper. She wanted more and he gave it to her, bringing his lips back against hers and slipping his tongue into her mouth before going deeper inside of her.

Regina groaned in pleasure as her inner walls stretched, welcoming him inside of her. God, she hadn’t felt anything close to this in years. Their lips finally broke apart as they let out simultaneous gasps when Robin finally seated himself to the hilt inside of her. Regina brought one of her legs up around his waist. He was so deep inside of her it was incredible. Not missing a beat Robin turned his attention back to sucking at the rapidly beating pulse point on her neck while his hands drifted down to her hips, gripping them as tightly as he started to rock his hips against hers.

Each just of his hips knocked a moan from her lips. He kept his rhythm even and steady, sometimes surprising her by switching up the depth of his strokes. Regina wrapped both her legs around his waist, bringing him closer as the heat rose between their bodies. The only thing to be heard in the room was the harmony of their breathy moans and groans. It wasn’t long before Regina started to feel it. That hot tension stirring up right under her belly, coiling tighter and tighter the more their hips knocked against each other. Her moans grew higher in pitch and Robin pulled her hands from his body trapping them above her head and lacing his fingers through hers while his hips picked up a frantic pace.

When he slowed to give her three forceful thrusts the tension inside her finally burst. Everything in her clenched as the waves of pleasure came crashing over her. She gritted her teeth and clutched at his hands, feeling every nerve in her body fire off at the same time she gasped his name as he groaned hers. She could feel him pulsing inside of her as he reached the same climax that she had, hear him panting into her ear as he came.

He finally released her hands – not that she could move them- and pressed a deep kiss to her lips before slipping from inside her. They were both still panting as he flipped over to lay next to her. Not a word was said as they laid next to each other slowly coming down from their high.

As usual Regina was the first to break the silence.

“Well…” she breathed, “You’re clearly not out of my practice.”

His lips pulled into a smile and let out a breathless chuckle. “Oh wow,” he drawled. “That was… better than expected.”

She turned on her side to better face him. “Glad I could put your mind at ease,” she whispered, with a devious grin.

“I promise you that’s not the only part of me at ease,” he replied, a playful hint in his tone. He took another deep breath before turning over to face her. “So… how are you feeling?”

“Good,” she softly chuckled, before turning a bit more serious. “Optimistic. Hopeful.” A bright smile appeared on her face. “I mean… I could be getting pregnant right now if we’re lucky.”

“I know,” he said softly, thinking it over in his head. In the heat of the moment he’d nearly forgotten the purpose of this whole endeavor. Warmth spread through his chest when he thought of how it would feel when they finally discovered that she was pregnant. God, he couldn’t wait.

He saw Regina’s eyes drift over to his shoulder with a frown. She brought her hand up to trace the three small angry scars that resided on the top of his right shoulder.

“I almost forgot about these,” she whispered. 

Robin frowned as she lightly ran her fingers over them. The scars were a souvenir from the accident that had killed his parents when he was a child. One of the few things he had to remember them by. At the mention of them, he saw the accident flash behind his eyes but quickly brought himself back to moment at hand. He was riding a high and didn’t want to bring himself down. He pulled her hand from his shoulder and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“Thank you, Regina,” he said, solemnly.

She knitted her eyebrows together, thrown off by his sudden solemnity. “For what?” she asked.

“For this,” he said, gesturing between them. “For tonight.” He sighed before continuing. “Ever since Marian I’ve, sort of, been dreading the moment I’d choose to be with someone else like this. I kept putting it off because thought it would be sad, or that it would feel wrong. After tonight… I don’t feel that way anymore. Now that it’s happened I don’t feel sad, or wrong. I feel… good. And I think that’s because it was with you… for the baby.”

He paused, taking a moment to see her reaction. “Does that make sense? Is it weird that I’ve brought it up?”

She shook her head at him. “No it’s not. I know exactly what you mean.”

And she did. After losing Daniel the thought of being with someone in the way she’d been with him had seemed… reprehensible. As though she was disrespecting him or belittling what they had together. But when it finally happened, that night with Mal, it hadn’t felt like either of those things. It had felt good to be kissed and touched. It felt good to realize that those parts of herself – the need to feel desired, to be touched and loved – hadn’t died along with him. And she was glad she’d been there to help Robin rediscover that part of himself as well.

Tonight, had been wonderful. Almost too much so. She loved Robin but only as a friend and she wanted it to stay that way. That being said…

She adjusted her body so she could lean her head against her elbow. “Robin… I think we need to set some rules.”

He raised his eyebrows at her. “Rules?”

“Yes,” she said, “Just to make sure that neither one of us makes this into something that it isn’t.”

Robin propped himself up onto his elbow as well. “What did you have in mind?”

“Okay,” she drawled, thinking to herself on just where to draw the lines in the sand. “For one, I think it’s important we stop this the minute we know that I’m pregnant. We don’t drag it out or continue it.”

Robin nodded his head. “I can get behind that. We’re only having sex for the baby anyway. It makes sense to stop once it’s here.”

“Right,” she said. “Two, I don’t think it’s good for us to stay over at each other’s places after sex.”

“Why?” asked Robin, clearly confused. “It’s not like I haven’t spent the night on your couch before.”

“I know,” she said, “but the more you stay over regularly the more people are going to talk. Rumors will get started. We said we were going to keep this to ourselves and I don’t want anyone sticking their nose in our business because I’m always coming out of your house in yesterday’s wrinkled clothes.”

“Yes, because me leaving your place at 1am every night is just so inconspicuous,” he replied sarcastically. She sent him a warning look and he let out a defeated sigh. “Fine, no sleepovers.”

“Thank you,” she said, with a smug smile. “And rule number three, we only do this when I’m ovulating. 3 days at the beginning of my cycle. That’s it.”

Robin thought it over and reluctantly nodded his head. “That’s a very limited window but I can see how it makes sense.”

Regina bit her lip as she stared up at him. “Are you okay with these rules?”

“I am,” he promised, confidently. “Like you said they’re necessary. And like I said in the kitchen, you’re my best friend and I don’t intend to lose you. So if this is what you need to feel comfortable then I am 100 percent on board.”

She smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

“However,” he said raising a finger, “I do have a question.”

“Hmm?”

“Even though we’ve already had sex we are still technically in the ovulation window. Do the rules prohibit repeats?” he said, grinning down at her lecherously.

She playfully tilted her head back and forth. “Statistically speaking a little repetition couldn’t hurt our chances,” she mused, pursing her lips. “I’ll say it’s allowed.”

A happy giggle flew from her throat as Robin climbed on top of her for the second time that night, chuckling along with her before pressing sensual kisses to the side of her neck. While it was true that same night repeats might improve their odds she ignored the little voice in her head telling her that it wasn’t the real reason she’d allowed him to stay. The same voice that was screaming that despite the fact that she’d just carefully laid out rules to prevent this exact occurrence, the reason she’d let him stay was because she wasn’t ready for him to leave.


	4. Chapter 4

**FOUR MONTHS LATER**

Regina sat at their usual table in Granny’s warming her hands against a steaming cup of decaf coffee. It’s early March and even though the first day of spring is less than a week away, the Storybrooke air is still frosty. Jackets were still a common sight around town, and even the waitresses at Granny’s were still shunning their usual white-tees and red shorts for sweaters and colored jeans. Regina had thrown her gray trench coat onto the seat beside her, along with her pair of matching gloves which clearly had been made for aesthetic only considering what little warmth they actually provided. A maroon scarf remains firmly around her neck while her eyes stick to the door searching for any sign of Robin. Even with the usual tardiness he should be arriving any minute. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her twisting gut.

A light snow was falling as she stared out the window and she sent up a silent prayer that it would be the last for the season. Winter might be leaving but it was certainly taking its sweet time. The bell above the door rings and she sees him enter, stomping the dirt off his shoes before seeking her out. He’s certainly dressed for the weather, a gray hoodie stuffed underneath his usual green jacket and a black beanie atop his head. He’s stripping off his wool gloves when their gazes lock and she can see the question clear in his sky blue eyes.

She presses her lips together, tightening the grip on her mug as she subtly shakes her head at him. Her silent response relays the answer she’s been dreading to give him.

No, she was not pregnant… again.

She sees a flash of disappointment go across his eyes before he takes off his his beanie, shakes out his hair and heads over to her. He settles into the booth with a sigh and sends her a sympathetic smile.

“So it came?”

She nods her head. “Last night. It was light but it was there.”

Her period had only been a few days late but it had been enough to make them hopeful. She sighs. They should’ve known better than to get ahead of themselves.

“It’s alright,” Robin says. “We’ll just keep trying.”

Still frowning, Regina takes a sip of her coffee, her eyebrows knitting together in disgust at the taste of it. She’d ordered the same thing she got every morning - dark roasted with vanilla creamer, two sugars and whipped cream - but something was off about it today. It tasted like candy in a cup for some reason.

Thankfully, a waitress arrives, setting their usual food down in front of them - waffle and bacon for Robin, oatmeal and fruit for Regina - before moving on to another table. They eat in silence for a little while Robin watching as Regina absentmindedly stirs her oatmeal, disappointment coloring her eyes. Hardly even eating, she looked thoroughly dejected.

“How are you feeling about it?” he asks, concerned.

She shrugs her shoulders. “Well, obviously I’m disappointed,” she says. “Aren’t you?”

“Of course I am,” he replies. He paused before adding, “I really did think that this month was gonna be our month.”

Regina nods her head in agreement. For the past four months she’d always tried to keep her expectations low but something about this time had felt different. She didn’t know why, it just had.

“It would’ve been nice,” she mumbled, resting her chin in her hand. “A December baby?”

Robin smiles at her. “Best Christmas gift in the world.”  

They softly chuckle together at the thought of it. Driving through the snow from the hospital with their baby in tow. Bringing them home to house that smells like cinnamon and hot cocoa with a lit up tree and gifts waiting for them in the corner.  A baby for Christmas certainly would’ve been magical.

Regina anxiously taps her spoon against the edge of her bowl. “Robin… I’m starting to get worried.”

His hand immediately reaches out to cover hers. “Hey, it’s still early. Remember, what all the books said? Four months is not that long." 

She silently nods her head as he rubs his thumb over the back of her hand but Robin still stares at her with concern in his eyes. They’d talked about how tough things had been when she and Daniel had started trying for a baby together. She’d told him how difficult it’d been to see negative after negative test result and he feared that each month without success was pouring salt into old wounds and dredging up fears she’d already laid to rest.

“I know,” she sighed, squeezing his hand. “It’s just making me anxious.”

“I know,” he replied. “But this just means that we have to keep trying. And we will.”

He gives her that comforting smile of his, the one that always shows up when she’s sad or in doubt and it does it’s job. For a moment her fears stop shouting and fall back into a muted hum. A warm shock goes through her heart, drawing a smile from her lips. His hand is still on hers, sending an invisible thrum of calming vibrations through her body.

She realizes that she likes when Robin touches her… perhaps more than she should.

Her gaze dropped to where his hand rested atop hers. She pressed her lips together before subtly pulling her hand back.

“Why don’t we lighten up on the baby talk for today?” she suggested. “Talk to me about anything else.”

“There’s not much to talk about my end,” said Robin. “Just Granny’s birthday coming up.”

“I nearly forgot about that,” said Regina, suddenly remembering that her former nanny’s birthday would be arriving in just a few weeks. “Are we just keeping up with tradition?”

“Yeah,” said Robin, nodding his head. “No need to rock the boat.”

With all the baby plans up in the air Regina had nearly forgotten that Granny would be turning 75 that year, 68 if anyone other than family asked. Every year she only requested the same celebration: just for her three grandkids (plus Regina) to have a small dinner at her house where they’d eat German chocolate cake (which she insisted upon making herself) for dessert. She never requested gifts but of course that had never stopped the four of them from coming together to spoil her for once.

“Have you talked with Belle and Ruby about the gift yet?” asked Regina. “I’m willing to do whatever you guys want.”

“We’ve talked but nothing’s been set in stone.”

Regina grinned. “Ruby’s still pushing for that summer trip to Aruba?”

Robin rolled his eyes in frustration. “The woman’s going to be seventy-five years old and she hates the beach! I don’t know why she keeps bringing it up every year?”

“Because Ruby’s always wanted to travel,” she reminds him. “And she still hasn’t gotten the chance.”

When they were younger Ruby had always wanted to see the world.To leave Storybrooke for a place more exciting and alive just as her mother had. Her bedroom walls had been covered with maps and postcards of all the things and places she’d wanted to see. She’d come close to leaving years ago but as it usually does life had gotten in the way and she’d chosen to remain at home.

Regina tilts her head as she thinks to herself. “You know… a trip might not be such a bad idea?”

“To Aruba? Really?” replied Robin, skeptically raising his eyebrows at her.

“Obviously, not to Aruba,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But overseas, maybe back to England for a week or two.”  

A flash of pain went across his eyes at the mention of England, his home country. With a blink it was gone but still Regina saw it. However, she chose not to bring it up. She knew he wouldn’t take it well if she did.

“You remember the stories she used to tell us about the summers she’d spend there visiting her sister when she was younger,” she continued. “She loved it there but she hasn’t been back in decades. Not since your grandmother died.”

“Perhaps there’s a reason for that,” mumbled Robin, shrugging his shoulders.  

“The reason being that she could no longer afford it and life got in the way,” Regina gently shot back.

He sighed and sympathy rose up in her eyes. She knew that talking about England was difficult for him. He’d always associate it with the loss of his parents, something that he never chose to talk about. At least not with her.

Robin reached for his coffee, skepticism in his eyes. “Still, traveling at her age?”

“Plenty of woman travel at her age,” she deadpanned. “Just because she’s elderly doesn’t mean she’s frail.”

Robin smirked at her.. “You realize you sounded just like her right then.”

“And you realize there is no universe where that will be anything other than a compliment,” Regina replied with a smirk of her own. She took another sip of her coffee, frowning at the taste before adding, “Besides, it’s not like she’d be going alone. Ruby would be with her.”

Robin tilted his head thinking it over. “I suppose it would be nice for them,” he conceded. “A trip for two to England is certainly not going to be cheap though.”

“Split four ways I bet we could swing it,” said Regina. “You know I’m more than willing to chip in my share. That woman practically raised me.”

Robin leaned back in his seat, defeated. “Fine,” he sighed. “I’ll talk it over with Belle and Ruby.”

His eyes glanced up at the clock on the wall and widened. Leaning forward in his seat he checked his watch. “Oh shit! Is that what time it is?”

Regina rolled her eyes as he scrambled to stand to his feet. Late again as always.

“Sorry, I forgot it was chores day,” he apologized, pulling on his gloves in a rush. “I’ve got to run.”

“Of course you do,” she chuckled, shaking her head.

“I’ll call you later,” he said.

In a flash he leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. A gesture of friendly affection, one he’d performed many times before. It certainly wasn’t unusual or unprecedented but that didn’t stop her breath from catching in her throat as his lips brushed across her cheek. She felt a blush coming on as she watched him disappear through the door.

Gulping, she lightly brushed her palms against her thighs and looked around the diner anxiously. She was only blushing because they were in public and she was worried that people might notice, which, obviously, no one had. She let out a short breath.

That was nothing. It meant nothing.

Taking another sip of her coffee, she twisted her face up in disgust again. Ugh, still too sweet. What the hell? The next time she saw Ruby they’d be having a serious talk about the waitresses and their sugar to coffee ratio.

Slapping down a few bills on the table, she paid for their breakfast and headed out into the street. Time to head to work, which she was actually looking forward to that day. She knew for a fact there’d be a heavy a caseload on her desk that morning and that meant she’d be able to spend her time thinking of something other than negative pregnancy tests and fertility scares.

No sooner had she slipped on her jacket, gloves and stepped onto the sidewalk did her phone buzz. Slipping it out of her purse she groaned at the sight of the name flashing across her screen.

Zelena.

Her stomach twisted at the thought of talking to her older sister. Despite living in the same town they regularly went without speaking for weeks at a time. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience for either of them in years so when Zelena chose to reach out  it was usually for one of two reasons. The common courtesy text for birthdays and holidays, or to bitch about something their mother had done which she blamed Regina for.

And it’s not like it was Christmas.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath to mentally prepare herself before picking up the call. “Yes?”

“She changed the nights for dinner!"

Her sister’s high pitched voice screeched through the speaker and Regina rolled her eyes.Of course she hadn’t bothered to say hello. And of course, she’s in a pissy mood. Fantastic.

“Yes, sis it’s so nice to hear from you. I’m fine by the way. Thanks for asking,” she sarcastically replied.

Zelena blew an irritated breath and Regina smirked to herself, pleased that she’d gotten under her skin, even if it was just a little.

“You have to talk to her,” Zelena ordered, ignoring her younger sister’s sarcasm. “She wants to change the monthly dinner from Wednesdays to Sundays and you know that doesn’t work for me!”

“And god forbid you attempt to change your schedule,” said Regina, annoyed.

“Well, not all of us work a nine to five now, now do we sis?” she shot back. “In case you’ve forgotten children tend to die when I’m not able to do make it into work.” 

Regina rolled her eyes. Barely two minutes in and she’s already played the life-saver card. She’d been playing it since med school.  

“If it doesn’t work with your schedule why do I have to be the one to talk to her? Just call her yourself.”

“Because she only switched the day because of you and you know it!” Zelena harshly pointed out.

Regina sighed. Her sister did have a point, not that she’d ever admit that aloud. She had missed three family dinners in the last five months. Switching the dates was surely their mother’s passive-aggressive way of letting her know she was displeased.

“Talk to her,” Zelena demanded. She paused before quickly adding, “It’s not like she picks up for me, anyway.”

She hung up before Regina could reply.  

“Love you too sis,” she sarcastically muttered to herself.

Regina closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to rid herself of the negative energy Zelena had just sent her way.  

She and her sister had shared a complicated relationship for almost as long as she could remember. Always distant. Always snapping at each other. She barely remembers it but there had been a time when they’d been really close.The two of them against the world but then things changed. Zelena had gone off to boarding school and Regina had barely heard from her. When she came back she’d turned cold. Regina had never understood why.

Exhaling and giving her head a little shake, she started heading towards work but as she walked down the street she could feel her gut twisting. Zelena might’ve been irritable and rude but she hadn’t been wrong. Mother had changed the dinner date because of her. It was only fair that she tried to changed it back.

She only wished that it didn’t mean talking to Cora.

She internally groaned at the thought of it. Cora Mills - or Madam Mayor, as she preferred to be called - was a difficult woman to love, even for her daughters. Sharp in every way, she had all the warmth of a cold-blooded shark and half the maternal instincts. She liked things in order, hated surprises and wanted only the best for herself and her daughters. A fact that she never failed to remind them of when they chose to disappoint her.

More than once Regina had been told that she and her mother were very much alike. It was a compliment that never failed to make her go rigid with fear. The two of them had a… strained relationship.

Still, for Zelena’s sake, she’d bite the bullet and set up a meeting. She swiped through the contacts on her phone before tapping Rose’s name.

“Good morning Rose. I’m on my way to the office right now, I just need you to do me a favor and call the mayor’s assistant to see if she has a free moment today.”

xxx

xxx

By some miraculous stroke of luck Robin manages to make it in to work on time. Grateful that he’d escaped another lecture from his captain. He’d hit the ground running.

It was the second Wednesday of the month and Robin’s least favorite day at work. Chores day. A day where he and the rest of the crew engaged in hours of extra cleaning and repair all intended to help keep the firehouse in tip-top shape. By the time noon had rolled around, he and the crew had scrubbed the oven, mopped all the floors, wiped down all the windows and washed the truck until it gleamed. Of course they’d saved the least exerting task for last.

Grocery shopping.

They always started by making a grocery list and solid meal plan but even with just the three of them it turned into a struggle between Will’s snack habit’s, Emma’s finicky taste buds and Robin’s desperation to stay within the budget. Normally it was would lead to an hour-long struggle at minimum but today things were going smoother than usual. After baking in the sun while scrubbing the truck Will had opted to take a shower before they left for their shopping trip, leaving just him and Emma.

As she listed off her priorities for the month Robin found his mind wandering. Back to the diner, back to Regina, back to the fact that she still wasn’t pregnant. He’d done his best to calm her at Granny’s but, truth be told, he was a little concerned. It’d been four months with four attempts and their lack of success unnerved him. Perhaps it was wishful thinking but he’d thought things would’ve happened quicker for them. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t been putting in the work, so to speak.

“So are you good with everything on the list?”

He was pulled back to reality by the sound of Emma’s voice. She stared at him expectantly with the list in hand and Robin automatically nodded his head. “Sure it looks good.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? Because I just wrote 15 pounds of elephant steaks and two boxes of lizards tales.”

“What?” Robin ran his eyes over the list, scoffing when found the last ten items to be nothing but nonsense. “Very funny, Emma.”

She smirked at him before asking, “You wanna talk about what’s got you so distracted?”

“Not particularly,” he replied.

“Okay let me rephrase that. Do you _need_ to talk about what’s got you so distracted?” 

Robin sighed, leaning back in his seat. He’d worked with Emma for nearly seven years. He’d been around her long enough to know that concerned Emma was more than a little pushy. Something that could be just as annoying as it was helpful. Still… things had been weighing on him since that morning and it wasn’t as if he could talk with Regina about it.

“It’s kind of a personal issue,” he warned.

“Lay it on me,” she gamely replied.

Robin hesitated. “Well, Regina and I have started trying to conceive and it’s just… taking a while.”

“Oh,” said Emma, her eyes growing wide. “I didn’t know that you guys had started with that.”

“It’s still early,” Robin sighed. “Barely more than four months but, I don’t know, the lack of results has got me feeling… a little worried.”

Emma took in what he said and nodded understandingly. Shrugging her shoulders, she replied, “I know that it’s gotta be frustrating but I’ve heard of couples where it’s taken longer, so I wouldn’t worry about it. Things like this tend to happen when they’re meant to. It’s just gonna take some patience.”

“That’s what I keep telling myself. And Regina,” said Robin. He paused before adding, “Truth is patience has never been something I’ve had a lot of.”

Emma hummed in agreement. “I know, but you might want to start stocking up because kids tend to require a lot of it.Trust me.”

She chuckled a little and Robin smiled. Surprisingly Emma was the only friend in his life who actually had a child. Her son, Liam, was five and quite possibly his favorite kid in the world. Emma brought him around the firehouse more often than not and even Leroy could always manage a smile for him.

Robin leaned forward in his seat. “Do you mind me asking… how long did it take before you got pregnant with Liam?”

“Well, it’s not like I was keeping track,” replied Emma, shaking her head. “Liam wasn’t planned. You know that.”

“I do but… if you had to ballpark it?”

Emma blew out a breath. “I guess… Killian and I had been dating for about four, almost five, months when I found out.”

She went silent, retreating into herself a bit, like she always did whenever her ex was mentioned. From what Robin understood, their current was no longer as amicable as it had been in the past. Quickly recovering, she shook her head. “What does your doctor say?”

Robin knitted his eyebrows, confused. “My doctor?”

“Yeah, the one who’s doing the fertility stuff for you. What have they said?”

She narrowed her eyes at him and Robin averted his gaze. “Um… we actually haven’t brought it up yet. Like you said it’s still early.”

“Right,” Emma softly mumbled, staring at him intensely.

He gulped as she continued to stare, the harshness of her gaze causing his face to grow hot. He could see in her eyes that she was searching him for the truth he was clearly hiding. Emma could always sniff out a lie or a secret. A trait that, in Robin’s opinion, made her more suited to the interrogation room than the firehouse.

She leaned back in her seat. “Robin?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re not… trying to have this baby the old-fashioned way, right?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“No?”

“No,” he repeated as firmly as he could.

Emma stared him down, suspicion growing in her eyes until a smile broke out on her face. Chuckling wryly to herself, she shook her head. “Oh my god… you’re sleeping with her.”

“No I’m not,” Robin immediately refuted, growing tense.

“Yes, you are,” she calmly insisted, crossing her arms. “Look at your cheeks. You’re full on blushing.”

Words got caught in Robin’s throat. He wanted to deny it more, for Regina’s sake at the very least, but with Emma’s hard, green eyes lasering in on him his defenses crumbled. He let out an irritated puff of breath. “Look… just don’t tell anyone. We’re trying to keep it to ourselves for right now.”

“Okay” scoffed Emma, rolling her eyes. She sighed, shaking her head at him. “I thought you guys were going with the insemination method.”

“We changed our minds about that,” Robin explained.

“Why?” asked Emma, incredulously, confusion still in her eyes.

“Why? Because it wasn’t what we wanted, because we wanted a different experience,” he elaborated, a little irritated that he was explaining this to her at all. “It’s not like we’re romantic about it. It’s just for the kid.”

“Okay, I understand,” said Emma, the tone of her voice clearly showing her disbelief. She was silent for a moment, thinking to herself before speaking again. “So… do you have a method?”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “A method?”

“Yeah, like a routine or schedule for the conception?” she asked, clearly uncomfortable with the question. “I mean, how often do you actually… try?”

Robin, internally cringed. He was sure that on his deathbed he’d count this as the most uncomfortable conversation he’d ever had. Still he managed to power through and answer her.

“Just once a month, when she’s ovulating,” he said.

Emma eyebrows rose in surprise. “That’s it?”

Robin nodded.

She took a deep breath before continuing. “Okay, I guess it’s smart that you’ve scheduled your attempts around the most likely date but that also means that you’ve only had four chances to get pregnant in the last four months.Which, statistically, doesn’t give you the best odds. You might want to consider… expanding your window of opportunity.”

She paused before softly adding, “If that’s an option you’re both comfortable with.”

Robin remained silent. It wasn’t as if the thought hadn’t crossed his mind when they’d first started trying to conceive but he hadn’t wanted to push Regina. She’d come up with the rules, including only having sex on her ovulation dates. He didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable by suggesting anything more. But it had been a while. Perhaps she’d be open to the idea if he brought it up in the right way.

“I’ll think it over,” he promised. 

Emma nodded her head. “Good. Now let’s try and finish off this grocery list,” she said, refocusing her attention to the paper in front of her.

Started scratching off the lines of nonsense she’d written at the bottom, her strokes harsh and quick. Her grip on the pen was tight and she barely even looked at him when asking what he’d like to add. Robin grimaced as he watched her.

“Emma…please don’t do that.”

She looked up at him, jaw still clenched. “Do what?”

“Judge me.”

She hesitated before scoffing at him and shaking her head. “I’m not judging you.”

“You’re judging my choices,” he shot back.

“I’m really not,” she lied. “And if I were, what does it matter? It’s your life Robin. You can do whatever you want.”

Robin opened his mouth to form a rebuttal but was cut off by the sound of footsteps in the hall. Will appeared in the kitchen doorway, freshly showered, hair still wet from the water as he sauntered over to the table.

“Still working on the grocery list?” he observed, plopping into the seat next to Robin. He eyed Emma. “There better be room left in the budget for my anchovies.”

“Will nobody eats them but you,” Emma pointed out. “So you can pay for them yourself.”

Will glared at her. “Swan, just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should.”

Emma scoffed, rolling her eyes and then muttering under her breath, “Sounds like a policy more people should consider.”

Robin gritted his teeth at her words. It didn’t take a genius to know they were directed at him. In his haste to unload his feelings he’d also forgot that concerned Emma was also judgy Emma. He stayed silent but tension quickly filled the air. And Will picked up on it.

“What’s going on?” he asked, turning to Emma. “Why are you judging him?”

Her eyes went wide. “I’m not judging him!”

“Then why do you have that judgy face on?"

“I don’t have a judgy face,” she shot back.

“Yes you do,” Robin calmly replied. “And it’s about as subtle as a drag queen’s makeup.”

Emma sighed but crossed her arms in defeat. “Fine… maybe I’m judging you… a little.”

“What for?” questioned Will, looking between the two of them.

Emma looked over at Robin, silently conveying that she was willing to keep things between them. Robin appreciated the gesture but he knew that Will was unlikely to let up and secrets between teammates was never a good thing in the firehouse.

“She’s judging me because Regina and I decided to conceive the baby naturally,” he revealed. “But obviously that doesn’t leave this table.”

Will smirked at him, unaffected. “If I was gonna tell anyone I would’ve done it two months ago when I first figured it out.”

Emma turned to him, surprised.“You knew?”

“Of course I did,” chuckled Will, gesturing at Robin. “Look at him. For the past three months he’s been walking around with relaxed demeanor of a man who, after years in a drought, has started regularly drinking from a well, if you catch my drift.”

“Ugh,” groaned Emma. “I’m gonna pretend like you didn’t just say that.”

“Whatever,” muttered Will. “It’s not like it’s that big of a deal. They’re two consenting adults.”

“Consent is not the issue,” she replied, turning to Robin. “Aren’t you worried things could get emotionally messy?”

“They won’t,” he said. “It’s just for the baby. We both know that.”

“Knowing something and feeling something are two very different things,” she gently pointed out. “You and Regina have such a great relationship. I don’t see why you would risk it by choosing to make things physical.”

“It’s not a risk,” he insisted, getting a little worked up. “I didn’t just fall into bed with her. We talked about it. We’ve thought it through.”

“Have you?” said Emma, raising her eyebrows at him.

Robin just rolled his eyes. Of course, they’d thought things through. They had rules in place. They had a schedule for god’s sake. This wasn’t like the impulsive choices he’d made in the past. Hell, it hadn’t even been his choice, not really. Technically, Regina was the one who’d suggested it but still they’d agreed on it together. They’d talked and made sure that no matter what their friendship would remain intact. And it would, through anything.

“Robin, what happens if one of you starts having feelings for the other?” questioned Emma, concern in her green eyes. “It feels like you’re ignoring how ugly this could get.”

“No, it feels like you’re assuming I’ll hate the mother of my child because you hate the father of yours.”

It was a low blow. And if he didn’t know it when he said the words, Emma’s reaction certainly let him know.

Her eyes went wide and a shocked puff of breath fell from her lips. “Oh… wow.”

Robin sighed, regretfully. “Emma…”

She briskly stood from her chair. “Let me know when the list is done.”

With that she stomped from the room, tossing over her shoulder that she’d be in the gym, leaving him and Will alone at the table. Robin leaned back in his seat and groaned, while Will just stared at him, disapproval on his face.

“Robin…”

“I know,” he said, cutting him off. “That was bad.” 

“Mm-hmm,” hummed Will, nodding his head. “You know that’s a sore spot for her.”

“Right,” muttered Robin. He let out a deep breath. “I’ll give her some time to cool off, figure out a way to apologize later.”

Whenever Emma was upset it always best to give her some time to herself before approaching her. Still, Robin was pretty sure their trip to the grocery store was sure to be a tense one.

“You know she’s not wrong to be concerned,” Will pointed out. “Set-ups like yours don’t usually end well.”

“It’s not a set up,” Robin replied. “It’s more like… a team effort. We’re not dating, we’re not even friends with benefits. We’re two people trying to make something happen together. No romance.”

Will crossed his arms. “So it’s all procreation, no pleasure? Is that what you’re saying?”

“It’s not like there’s no pleasure,” fumbled Robin. “I’m just saying that it’s not the main goal.”

“So you don’t feel anything when you’re with her? No emotion at all.”

Robin bit his tongue. It’s not like he felt nothing on their nights together. It wasn’t as if they cuddled but he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel...closer to her afterward. That he didn’t look forward to the moments where he could have her in his bed again. But that didn’t mean anything. It’d been years since he’d had a physical connection with anybody. It was all just part of getting back into the saddle.

Will took his silence in stride and continued on. “Hey, for the record… I think Emma is wrong.”

Robin’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “You do?”

“Yep,” replied Will, leaning back in his seat and stretching. “There’s not gonna be any fallout from this.”

“Thank you.”

“Because it won’t be one of you having feelings but both of you,” Will smugly finished, arms behind his head.

“Both of us?” scoffed Robin, his tone dripping with disbelief. “You think we’re both going to fall for each other?”

Will simply shrugged his shoulders with a smirk. “What can I say? I’m a romantic optimist.”

Rolling his eyes, Robin snorted.“Well that’s adorable but that doesn’t mean either of us has feelings or that we ever will. As a matter of fact we’ve put rules in place to make sure that we don’t.”

Will narrowed his eyes. “Rules?”

“Yes,” said Robin. “I told you… we’ve thought this through.”

“Uh huh,” mumbled Will, nodding his head. Sitting up in his seat, he leaned forward. “Okay Robin, riddle me this. If there wasn’t a chance of you catching those feelings… then why would you even need those rules?”

Robin opened his mouth to argue but nothing came out. Will’s question echoed in his head but he couldn’t come up with a decent response.

Seeing that he’d stumped him, Will chuckled to himself.

“Yeah, think that over,” he said, standing up and heading toward the table. “And while you’re at it add my anchovies to the grocery list.”

“Never,” Robin softly shot back.

He walks away leaving Robin with nothing but the corporate store music and his own thoughts for company. Will had made a fairly good point but Robin quickly shook it off. He didn’t agree to the rules in order to keep his feelings at bay, he followed them to make sure Regina was comfortable. That was his main priority. Always.

Besides, he’d been friends with Regina for more than 20 years now. If there was even a chance of them becoming something more, surely it would’ve happened already.

_xxxxx_

Sitting next to the coffee table in Mal’s office Regina adjusted her bra for what must’ve been the hundredth time that morning. Damn thing must’ve shrunk in the wash because it was digging into her chest like never before. Sighing she tried to focus on the case in front of her but yet again she fell short.

Just as she’d suspected there’d been a major workload waiting for her when she came into the office that morning. Five new cases, at least two of them likely to go to trial. It was enough to keep her busy for at least a week and probably would’ve if she didn’t have so much on her mind.

It seemed like she’d read these cases at least three times without comprehending a single word because she’s so worried about the fact that she still wasn’t pregnant. Over and over she tries to remind herself that it’s still early. That they’ve gone to the doctors who told them everything would be fine. It’s only been four months. They’ve only tried four times. There’s no reason for her to worry… except that she already was.

She knows that Robin was trying his best to calm her down that morning but she’s still anxious. Every time they get another negative test result it reminds her of that year with Daniel, of that endless cycle of disappointment and failure. And every time she thinks of it she can feel the paranoia creeping her spine. That dreadful it’s-never-gonna-happen-feeling sinking into her bones. She can’t help it. She’s afraid. And if she doesn’t talk to someone about it she’s gonna burst.

She sighs, taking another sip of the chamomile tea Mal had made for her not too long ago. When Mal had first handed her the mug she’d internally cringed not looking forward to the stale taste it normally carried but today she’d been pleasantly surprised. Maybe it was an extra touch of lemon or sugar but it’d turned out better than usual. For once she could actually endure it.

Mug still in hand, she looks over at Mal where she sits behind her desk, laser focused on her computer screen. A picture frame is faced away from her but she knows it contains one of Lily’s pictures from when she was a toddler. Just looking at the back of it reminds her that Mal is actually the only friend she has that has gone through a pregnancy. And therefore a perfect well of advice.

“Hey Mal?”

“Yeah?”

“How long did it take you to get pregnant with Lily?”

Mal pauses, finally pulling her eyes away from the computer screen and toward Regina. She stays silent, only lifting a single eyebrow to demand an explanation for her sudden outburst.

Regina bites her lip before elaborating. “I mean, how many rounds of insemination did you have to do before it happened?”

Mal sighs before turning back to her computer and continuing to type. “I was a one and done.”

Regina’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh! So you actually…”

“Got pregnant on the first try,” said Mal, nodding her head.

Regina’s gut swirled at Mal’s easy admission. It wasn’t as if she’d been hoping that Mal had a difficult experience it was just that hearing how easy conception had been for her only fueled the worries building up in her head. What if there was something wrong with her? Something the doctors had missed?

Mal typed for another few seconds before turning her attention back to Regina. “Okay, now that my email has been sent you have my full attention.” She gave her a sympathetic smile. “It’s been about four months since you’ve started trying, right?”

Regina nodded her head. “Yeah.”

“And you’re still sticking to those ridiculous rules of yours?” Mal asked, with a smirk.

Rolling her eyes, Regina nodded again. “Yes Mal, we are sticking to the rules.”

Even though she’d told Robin she’d prefer to keep their arrangement between the two of them she’d told Mal about their plans for conception less than two weeks after their first attempt. In her eyes Mal was an exception to the rule and frankly, she’d needed someone to talk to. Besides, she knew Mal would keep their secret.

Mal leaned back in her seat, still smirking. “I keep telling you. You need to throw those guidelines out the window if you want things to work.”

“I like our guidelines,” Regina reminded her. “They keep things simple. We both want it to be clear that the only reason we’re doing this is for the baby and the rules help with that.”

Mal rolled her eyes. “You can make it clear without limiting yourself to one session a month.”

Regina scoffed as Mal stood from her seat to continue her rant. “All I’m saying is that one of the benefits of you forgoing the artificial route is that you have the chance to actually enjoy your conception… over and over, if you know what I mean.”

She sent a wink Regina’s way causing her to let out a soft chuckle as a blush rose in her cheeks. “I get that the two of you are only doing this for the baby but why are you trying so hard to take the pleasure out of it?”

Regina shrugged her shoulders, flustered. “Because… it’s what’s best. For our friendship and for our future.” She paused. “And for the record… I couldn’t take the pleasure out of it if I tried.”

Not that she ever would. Over the past few months she’d found sex with Robin to be fun and exciting and… satisfying in a way that she couldn’t put into words. Perhaps it was due to the weeks of anticipation in between their rounds but there was an explosive connection that she felt every time they came together. Not to mention the sneaking around had become a bit of a turn-on for her.

Mal crossed her arms. “You’re still not gonna give me any details on the sex, are you?”

“Not a chance,” replied Regina, with a smile, taking another sip of her tea.

“Fine,”whined Mal, taking a seat next to her on the couch. “But just tell me one thing. Do you enjoy it?”

“Mal…”

“This is purely scientific!” Mal insisted. “Your chances of conception are better if you enjoy it. That’s a medical fact. So…”

Regina reluctantly nodded her head. “Yes I enjoy it.”

“Good,” said Mal, with a wide smile. “Then steer into that skid. You need to take some of the pressure off and just enjoy yourselves.”

Regina groaned in response but didn’t say a thing. As she laid back in her seat Mal studied her face and curiously raised an eyebrow. “I mean… unless you’re worried?”

Regina scrunched her face her face in confusion. “About what?”

Mal pursed her lips. “About the chances of you actually feeling something for him.”

In a flash Regina was transported back to the diner, back to that moment when his hand had laid against hers and his lips had brushed against her cheek. She remembered how her heart had leapt and her pulse had quicken.

But that had just been cautiousness she quickly reminded herself. Nothing more.

Letting out a hearty chuckle Regina shook her head. “Trust me Mal, it’s pretty hard to develop feelings for someone you’ve seen wear Speed Racer footsie pajamas.” She sighed. “Robin and I are just friends. And we’re fine with that being all we are.”

Mal stared her down for a moment with suspicious eyes but nodded her head in acceptance. “If that’s what you believe then fine. But if it’s true I will again suggest lightening up on the rules. Just a little if that’s all you’re comfortable with, just to give you guys your best chance.”

Regina tilted her head still a little uncertain. While she still believed the rules were a good idea she couldn’t deny that Mal was making a lot of sense. Perhaps they should give themselves a little more of a fighting chance. A few extra nights a month certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“I will think it over,” she promised Mal. Sighing, she directed her attention back to the documents in front of her. “Now I should get back to work. I have a lot more to get through before… heading upstairs.”

Mal rose from the sofa with a smirk on her face. “Oh yes. The meeting with Mommy Dearest.” She paused, her eyes turning sympathetic. “How do you think that’s gonna go?”

The minute Mal mentioned her mother Regina’s stomach began to swirl and she groaned. “If I’m lucky? Quickly. If I’m not? Brutally.”

Mal hummed sympathetically as she returned to the seat behind her desk. “Have you given any thought as to what you’ll say to her if you do actually end up pregnant?”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Not a clue.”

She could only imagine what her mother’s reaction would be once she discovered that her daughter was purposefully pregnant by a man she had no intention of marrying. The combination of shock and anger might actually kill her. But Regina would cross that bridge when she came to it. Until then she preferred not to let her imagination run wild.

xxxxxxx

Ever since he was 20 years old Robin had lived with two families. The first was blood. Granny, his cousin Ruby and his little sister Belle. They were the ones that he’d grown up with. The ones that he’d seek out on birthdays and holidays without fail. He knew if there ever came a time when he fell to pieces, and there had been, they’d be there to help put him back together. And he’d be there for them as well.

The second family was work. Emma, Will, the volunteers, even Leroy. For three days a week he ate with them, slept with them, worked with them around the clock. There wasn’t a dangerous situation in the world where he wouldn’t trust them to have his back. He’d walk through fire with them and for them. They had a bond literally forged in flames.

His crew was his family. And he never liked it when there was strife between them.

Things had been more than a little tense since he’d gone toe to toe with Emma at the kitchen table. She’d been giving him the cold shoulder literally all day and it was starting to grate on him. Their trip to the grocery store seemed like it would never end. He knew he had to apologize; he was just waiting for the right moment.

For the last few hours he’d given Emma her space, hoping it would help her cool down before he approached her.

He finally deemed it safe enough to talk to her before dinner. Meals were always a community experience around the firehouse but cooking was mostly a solo act. They normally switched off kitchen duty by the day of week. Emma would usually get Wednesdays. And she’d normally cook a soup or a chili. It was the only thing she couldn’t burn.

He found her in the kitchen chopping up vegetables against the kitchen counter for her chicken noodle soup. An Emma classic.

Though the knife in her hand gave him pause Robin knew that this would probably be the moment when her defenses were lowest. Cautiously stepping into the kitchen, he asked, “Do you need any help?”

He sees her pause, midway through chopping a carrot to clench her jaw. He could tell she was considering whether or not to tell him to fuck off and for a second he didn’t know which way she’d swing. But finally she conceded with a reluctant tilt of her head.

“Knife’s in the drawer, chicken’s in the fridge. You know what to do.”

It’s not exactly a welcome mat but he’ll take it. Pulling out what he needs and starts dicing up the chicken for the soup. For a while they work together in deafening silence but it’s not long before Robin breaks the ice.

“So… I might’ve been kind of a jackass when we talked earlier.”

She scoffs as she starts chopping another carrot. “Kind of?”

“Alright, I was a complete jackass,” he reluctantly amends, rolling his eyes. He pauses for a minute before adding, “I’m sorry.”

Emma softly sighed before the mumbling, “Thanks.”

She offered up nothing else in response and he was sure that in her eyes the matter had been laid to rest. Unfortunately for her, Robin still had more to get off his chest.

“But for the record you weren’t exactly coolest person at the table either.”

Emma’s eyes grow wide as she turns to him. “Excuse me?”

Robin tilts his head at her. “Emma, come on,” he drawls. “Ever since I’ve told you about this whole thing you’ve been treating me like I’m stupid to want it. You keep telling me I’m gonna be a good father but you’re constantly shooting down everything I say, rolling your eyes, offering negative opinions.” He pauses. “You haven’t exactly been the easiest person to talk to lately.”

His confession comes out in a huff, almost like he didn’t even know he’d been holding it in. The truth is Emma’s attitude toward his plans had been cutting at him for a while now. And judging by the look on her face she hadn’t even realized it.

Her green eyes grew soft and she let out a small breath in surprise. “Oh.” She swallowed, uncomfortably. “Sorry, I just- I’m not trying to be negative. I just feel like I have to point it out to you that things could go bad.”

“Why?”

“Because no one pointed it out to me,” she solemnly replied. Her hands went still as she regretfully shook her head. Robin could see her going to the same dark place she went to whenever she thought of her ex. Seeing it in her eyes made him feel like a jackass all over again.

She sighed. “Look, Robin I do support you and I know it might not seem like it but I am hoping for the best here.” She pauses for a second. “But you should really know that coparenting with someone who you used to love but no longer do… well, it can be really hard.”

Smirking a little, she adds, “And like you pointed out earlier, no one knows that better than me.”

“Look what I said earlier was a low blow…”

“But it was true,” said Emma, cutting him off. “Things between me and Killian got really rough once we broke up and as hard as it is for me, it can be even worse for our son.”

She looks down at the cutting board. “Sometimes there are moments when he catches us snapping at each other and he gets this sad look on his face. It just… cuts right through me and makes me feel like the worst mom in the world.”

“You are not the worst mom in the world,” Robin immediately denies, a harsh firmness to his voice. He leans back against the counter and shrugs his shoulders. “In fact, you’re probably one of the best moms I know.”

Emma scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Really?”

“Yes,” Robin earnestly. “Why do you think I keep coming back for your negative advice? Might not seem like it but I actually do give a shit about what you think.”

She snorts. “Are you saying you trust me more than your legendary gut?”

Robin chuckles, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t go quite that far,” he laughs. “But I do care about opinion and I like having your support.”

Emma nods her head and sighs before turning to him with serious eyes. “Look I get it if you guys want to conceive you baby the natural way but all I’m saying is that you need to make sure all your feelings are clear because if they aren’t - and I’m telling you this because I’m your friend -  this could turn into a shit show. And not just for you.”

Robin sighed taking in her words. Now that his head was clearer he could see where she was coming from. If things became emotionally messy between him and Regina there was a chance their child could be caught in the middle.

“I see what you’re saying,” he said. “And we’ve talked about that. We know how important it is to keep things civil and friendly but Emma, what I have with Regina isn’t the same as what you had with Hook. You were dating and in love.”

Emma raised an eyebrow at him. “And you don’t love Regina?”

“Of course I love Regina,” replied Robin, rolling his eyes. “But it’s different. I love her but it’s not as if I’m _in_ love her. It’s not like we’re together.” 

“And you’re sure there’s no chance of it becoming more?”

For a moment Robin thought back to their nights together. How right it felt having her in his arms, how easy it’d been to make that physical leap that they’d avoided for so long. And for a moment he thought… maybe?

But then he quickly regained his senses and shook his head.

“There’s no chance of me falling in love with Regina,” he declared. “It’s about as likely as me falling in love with you.” 

Emma lightly punched him in the shoulder. “Hey! I think we both know you’d be damn lucky to have me.”

Robin only laughed as she shook her head and turned her attention back to the carrots.

“Fine, I believe you,” she sighed. “Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Fine,” he drawled, as he returned to dicing up the chicken. He hesitated before throwing over his shoulder “But if it does turn to shit just please don’t say I told you so.”

Emma turned to him with a smirk. “I can’t promise that.”  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At city hall, Regina sat at her desk, tapping her pen against her hand with her eyes trained on the clock hanging from the opposite wall.

It was 4:23 pm.

She and Mal had finished most of their work for the day. No new crisis had sprung up, no last-minute phone calls had come through. There were no distractions whatsoever. She was free and clear.

Goddamnit.

She continued to steadily tap her pen against her palm as she watched the second hand tick its way around the clock. Somehow its pace was both too slow and too fast at the same time.

Her meeting with Cora was at 4:30 but it would take her at least three minutes to get upstairs so of she had to leave at 4:25 exactly. She couldn’t risk getting there late and having her mother claim that their meeting wasn’t important. And she certainly couldn’t show up ten minutes early. That would make her seem overeager which Cora would undoubtedly shame her for. _Remember darling, never let anyone think that their time is any more precious than yours._

Ugh. No, leaving at 4:25 was best. It was the perfect amount of casual.

The minute hand ticked. 4:24.

One more minute now. She let out a deep breath, trying once again to calm her turning stomach. It’d been bothering her all day. Tossing and turning as she’d tried to work. It was practically a miracle she’d been able to force herself to eat lunch. It probably didn’t help that she was on her period but she knew that wasn’t the only cause for her upset stomach.

She hated that one simple meeting with her mother could do this to her. Turn her knees weak, make her stomach flip. It was disgraceful.

Closing her eyes for a moment she silently gave herself a rundown of how the meeting would go.

_You’ll walk in. She’ll say something passive aggressive. You’ll ignore it because it doesn’t matter. Just bring up the issue at hand. She’ll guilt you about the dinners and you’ll act regretful. She’ll guilt you some more but she’ll fold._

“Ten minutes tops,” she whispered under her breath. Sighing, she opened her eyes.

4:25.

 _Here we go_.  

Wiping her sweaty palms against her skirts she stands to leave her office. As she walks out toward the elevator she resists the urge to tug at her bra. The damn thing has been biting into her chest all day. She knows she’ll probably end up tossing it into the trash when she gets home.

She’s grateful when the elevator arrives empty and no one goes in with her. Between her and all the stress she’s carrying she doubts there’s even room for anyone else. She pushes the button for the top floor and grips onto the elevator railing as it starts to rise. Her stomach continues to twist as she moves upward. She allows herself to lean against the wall and take a deep breath.

She hates this time of month. The cramps she could endure - a couple of pain pills and she could power through - but the nausea and fatigue always ran her ragged. And this month her symptoms were roaring like never before. God, all she wanted to do was go home and wrap herself up in some blankets and comfy pajamas so she could ride out the night. And she would do those things. She just had to get through this meeting first.

The elevator dinged and she straightened up before the doors opened, revealing the lobby to the mayor’s office. It was close to the end of the day and any visitors that had come to see her mother had long since gone, leaving the lobby as empty as a ghost town. The only person that remained was her mother’s secretary, Ms. Ratchett.

Blonde, and thin with permanent swipe of red lipstick, Ms. Ratchett’s personality could be boiled down to two words: efficient and emotionless. There was no denying she was an excellent secretary, often scheduling the mayor’s days down to the minute, flawlessly adjusting for the unexpected and inevitable but in the ten years that she’d worked for her mother Regina never saw the woman crack a smile. Nor a frown for that matter. She didn’t laugh at jokes or cry at sob stories. And she was all but immune to any sort of charm. If Regina didn’t know any better she’d say the woman was heartless. But perhaps that’s why mother favored her so much.

No one got past Ms. Ratchett without an appointment. Not even Regina.  

She sighed as she approached the desk. “Hello Ms. Ratchett. I believe my mother is expecting me.”

Ms.Ratchett looked up at her and pursed her lips in disapproval. “Yes I managed to make room for your last-minute appointment.”

Regina resisted the urge to roll her eyes. A part of her actually understood her annoyance. The quickest way to get into a secretary’s bad graces was to screw up their schedule.

Ms. Ratchett tilted her head toward the double doors to the Mayor’s office “She finished up her last call quicker than expected. So feel free to head inside… even though you’re two minutes early.”

As Regina passed her desk she almost thought she saw a smirk on the older woman’s face. Steeling herself as much as she could, she grabbed the doorknob and entered her mother’s office.

Regina had been coming to mayor’s office ever since she was a little girl. She remembered how warm and welcoming the room had felt when her father had occupied the space. Back then every seat had been made for comfort, framed photos of family, friends and events had lined the walls and a never empty jar of butterscotch candies had sat on his desk. He’d always left his door open and he’d never refused a walk-in appointment.

The atmosphere had been warm and cheerful, same as his personality.

But her father hadn’t been the mayor in years now. And under her mother’s direction, the office became a much colder place. Photos were taken down, walls were painted an undistracting white. Chairs were stiff with straight backs and firm seats. And of course the butterscotch candies were nothing but a memory now.

Cora sat behind her glass desk. As always she was dressed in a classic black pantsuit and her chocolate brown hair was styled to perfection, falling effortlessly to her shoulders. Hearing the door she looked up from her work, pulling her red-painted lips into a smile when she saw Regina walking into her office. “My, my. Isn’t this a lovely surprise?”

Regina immediately forced a smile onto her face. “Hello mother.”

Cora stands to give her a hug which she automatically accepts. She swallows thickly as the scent of her mother’s perfume aggravates her nausea. Finally Cora releases her and gestures over to the couch where they move to sit.

“I’ll admit I was surprised to hear you’d called,” she said, staring down Regina with her grin firmly remaining in place. “It feels like we haven’t spoken in ages.”

 _And there goes passive aggressive barb number one_ , Regina thought to herself. 

Swallowing her pride, she sweetly responds, “I’m sorry mother. Things have just been a bit overwhelming at work.”

“So you’ve said,” Cora calmly replied. “But I’m sure it’s nothing you can’t handle. From the reports I’ve received you’re still the shining star of our attorney’s office. Certainly you can spare a few extra minutes for your dear old mother.”

Regina nods her head. “Of course. Perhaps we can have a lunch date of these days.”

The suggestion tastes like dishwater on her tongue but it does it’s trick. Cora pats her hand appreciatively.

“I would like that very much,” she says.

Regina smiles in response, knowing that despite her words the chances of them ever having a lunch date are slim. In reality she’ll probably reach out in a week or so when her mother is having a hectic day and Cora will without doubt blow her off in favor of work. As she always does.

“So why the last-minute visit, sweetheart,” Cora asks. “Is it something to do with work?”

“No,” said Regina, shaking her head, a decision she regrets immediately when the room starts to twirl before her eyes. Pausing to regain her senses, she clears her throat. “I actually wanted to talk to you about our monthly dinners.”

“Oh yes, I’ve been meaning to call you about that,” interrupted Cora. “I think it’s best we meet on the first Sunday of the month, instead of the Wednesday.”

“I know,” said Regina. “It’s just that… I don’t think that it would be for the best.”

Cora’s smile falls from her face and Regina’s stomach flips.

“Why not?” asked Cora, her voice going steady and low as she stared Regina down. “It’s not as if you have work on Sundays.”

“True,” Regina carefully conceded, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “But the Wednesday night dinner already works so perfectly for all of us.” 

Cora raised an eyebrow at her. “Does it, Regina? Because as I recall you’ve missed three of the last five dinners we’ve had.”

Regina silently cursed. She knew her mother would bring it up and if she was honest, perhaps she had a point. With only three people at the table it wasn’t as if her absence would go unnoticed.

“Tell me dear, what is it that has kept you so busy that you can’t manage a single dinner a month with me and your sister?”

 _Trying to conceive your granddaughter_ , Regina thinks to herself. She’s almost tempted to say it aloud just to see the look on her mother’s face but of course she doesn’t. Admitting that she’d blown off the last two family dinners to have sex with Robin would only steer her mother’s aim from guilt to shame. And frankly, she didn’t have the energy to put up that sort of fight right now. 

“I’m sorry, Mother,” she apologizes. “I told you I’ve just been overwhelmed with work and… well, you know how hard things get for me during winter.”

Cora sighs, shaking her head. “Regina… it’s been more than five years. You can’t keep using his death as a way to weasel your way out of obligations.”

It’s a low move, blaming her absence on her grief for Daniel but it wasn’t as if she was being completely dishonest. The fresh winter snow and cold would always remind her of those first few months after his death when things had been hardest for her. Except this last season had felt lighter than the ones before. Spending nights with Robin had helped. Their plans had given her something to look forward to. A reminder to be hopeful for the future and not drown herself in the past any longer.

Not that Cora needed to know that. For now, feigning grief was her best excuse.

“I understand mother,” sighed Regina. “It’s just been difficult.”

“I know sweetheart,” replied Cora, reaching out to caress her cheek. “I understand how you feel. Especially now that your father is gone. But that’s all the more reason to make family a priority. It’s why he’d suggested these dinners in the first place. Don’t you remember?”

“Of course I do,” Regina replied, her voice coming out a bit harsher than she intended. The only reason she even attended these monthly torture fests is because she knew it was what her father would’ve wanted.

Suddenly, her gut began to swirl. Stronger than before, as if it was tilting back in forth inside her. She tried, with no success, to subtly breathe in through her nose and calm her stomach. It only worsened matters as she sucked in the smell of her mother’s perfume, which was suddenly so potent she could practically taste it. 

Cora tilted her head, a flash of suspicion in her eyes. “Are you alright dear? You look peaked.”

Regina forced a smile on her face. “I’m fine,” she lied. “I just haven’t had much to eat today.”

She swallowed thickly, trying to push down the bile she felt stinging in the back of her throat.

“Oh.” Cora simply shrugged her shoulders before dropping the issue. She sighed before continuing to speak. “Now I suppose, keeping the dinners on Wednesdays would be simpler for all of us but you can no longer skip them whenever you feel emotionally compromised. That’s not the daughter I raised. Correct?”  

“Correct,” Regina immediately agreed, just wanting their conversation to be over so she could run to the bathroom. “I will be there every month without fail. I promise.”

Cora studied her for a moment, searching her face for deceit, before nodding her head in satisfaction. “Alright,” she said. “I’ll call your sister and let her know I expect you both at the mansion on the Wednesday after the next.”

“Same as always,” Regina forced out, standing to her feet. Again her stomach tilted inside her and she subtly gagged. God, she had to get the hell out of this office.

She pointed toward the doors. “Sorry to leave so quickly but I have some work to attend to downstairs.”

“Of course,” said Cora. “It was good to see you Regina.”

“You too mother,” she immediately replied.

Tossing out a quick goodbye she headed for the door as calmly as she could. As soon as it closed behind her she cantered across the lobby to the nearest bathroom, just barely making it to the toilet before her lunch came charging up her throat. She kneeled at the toilet seat as she emptied her stomach into the bowl, only feeling relief when she was done.

Hands shaking when she’d finally finished she grabbed a swath of toilet paper to clean off her mouth.

“Oh my god,” she breathed, shakily standing to her feet. Had that really happened? Did she really just empty her guts in a city hall toilet?

She walked over to the sink and splashed some cold water on her face, taking a short sip to spit out the taste of puke in her mouth. Looking at herself in the mirror she noticed that her mother was right. She was looking rather pale but at least her stomach had stopped swirling. For now.

Leaning against the counter she took a deep breath. What the hell was wrong with her? A little nausea during her time of the month was expected but throwing up? That had never happened to her before. It wasn’t normal… unless…

No.

She tried to force the thought out of her head. It couldn’t be. She’d gotten her period last night so it was impossible… although…

It had been light and things hadn’t exactly picked up since then. The thought planted itself in her head, bearing fruit when she thought back on how she’d felt over the last few days. How unsettled her stomach had been. How pinchy her bra had felt. How strongly her mother’s perfume had smelled when she’d never known her mother to overdo such a thing. Her mind wandered back to the diner that morning and how her normally favorite coffee had suddenly turned too sweet. And how Mal’s usually dull tea had seemed perfect. 

As all these little things ran through her mind she thought to herself… what if… maybe… could she be…

Her hand drifted down to rest on her stomach.

“Oh my god,” she breathed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was nearly ten by the time Robin got her text.

It was almost curfew but he’d been sitting in his bunk for close to half an hour now, just letting Emma’s words swirl around his head. He couldn’t deny that she’d gotten under his skin with her warning.

He’d seen first hand how rough things had gotten between her and Killian. He still remembers the night she’d shown up at his and Marian’s door, nearly eight months pregnant, asking to spend the night, crying that the relationship had become too much for her. She’d been practically inconsolable. He still remembers how worried Killian had been when they’d finally managed to get a hold of him. Poor bastard, had spent the whole night looking for her. And things had barely gotten better for them since that night. At best they were civil to each other and getting to that point had taken years.

He didn’t want that for his kid. He didn’t want them to grow up wading through that type of negative energy.

 _And they won’t,_ he silently reminded himself. 

Things were different between him and Regina. They’d been friends for decades. They’d endured their fights and blowouts and they’d always come out stronger on the other side. Besides, it wasn’t as if they were in love like Emma and Killian had been. There was no chance of things getting that complicated and emotional… hopefully.

Laying back against his mattress Robin sighed. God he hopes that he’s right.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he sees a text from Regina light up his screen.

**_I’m out front._**

Immediately standing to his feet, he looks out the window and sees her standing out on the sidewalk, shifting from foot to foot, hands in her coat pockets as she waits for him out in the cold. Within seconds he’s thrown on a hoodie and headed for the door.

She knows when his curfew is but she’d still shown up despite how late it was. He knew that meant whatever she had to tell him couldn’t wait.

“Hey,” he called out, as he exited the firehouse and joined her on the sidewalk. “What’s going on? Are you alright?”

“I’m good,” she breathlessly replied, nodding her head. “I’m really good.”

“Okay,” he says, relieved. “Then what’s going on?”

A nervous smile appeared on her face. “What’s going on is that I was wrong.”

Robin’s face twisted up in confusion. “You were wrong?” 

“Yes,” she said, nodding her head. “This morning in the diner when I said that my period had come the night before… I was wrong.”

Even in the dark he could see how much her brown eyes have lit up as she waits for it to hit him. Reaching into her pocket she pulls out three white plastic sticks and hands them over.

They’re pregnancy tests.

And they’re all positive.

He looks up at her, a disbelieving smile growing on his face. “Are you… are you saying…?”

She nods at him, her eyes growing watery. “Robin… I’m pregnant.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: It took me awhile to update but I'm still here I promise :) The show might be over but my passion for these two will never die. So don't worry about my fics. As long as you're reading I'll be writing :)  
_ **

**_Enjoy!_ **

* * *

It takes a heartbeat to make it real for her.

She'd wanted this for so long. Dreamed of it for so many years. And yet, it still hadn't felt real to her.

Not when she was chugging down water for the tests, or when she saw those three plus signs. It hadn't even felt real when she'd told Robin. As she watched the surprise and joy go across his face as he scooped her into his arms everything still felt like a dream. One that she would wake up from at any minute.

They managed to get a doctor's appointment fairly quickly, skipping their usual Wednesday morning breakfast to head over to the hospital where her obgyn was stationed. The whole way there she'd been on pins and needles, waiting for the moment when reality would hit and she'd find out that it wasn't real, that she'd just been deluding herself.

But laying on her back with goopy gel all over her stomach, letting her doctor to press the ultrasound wand over her skin so they could see that tiny, grainy little heart flutter… it hits her.

Seeing that heartbeat, feeling Robin's fingers squeeze onto hers, everything feels suddenly and incredibly real.

Together they both marveled at the tiny monitor giving them their first glimpse of their baby.

There isn't much to see as this point, just a grey screen with a small amorphous blob. Hardly any characteristics at all outside the small, flickering heartbeat but it was still the most amazing thing she'd ever seen in her life. It was her baby… and it was real.

Tears welled up in Regina's eyes as Doctor Johnson pointed out the embryo on screen. Robin's fingers squeezed onto hers as he let out a happy, disbelieving breath.

"And everything is good?" he cautiously asked, still keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.

Dr. Johnson hums affirmatively. "Yep. You're eight weeks along, everything is right on schedule and the baby looks completely healthy so far."

"She looks beautiful," breathes Regina, still overwhelmed.

Almost in unison, they both turn to her with skeptical looks on their faces. Chuckling good naturedly, Dr. Johnson reminds her, "Wishful thinking but it's far too early to tell the sex."

Regina shrugs, unbothered. "For you maybe but I already know it's a girl," she says, with all the confidence in the world. "Family tradition."

Robin rolls his eyes, realizing what she's talking about. "Oh not this again."

She ignores him but addresses her doctor. "The women in my family only have daughters. We were cursed."

Shaking his head at her, Robin wonders, not for the first time, why she's held onto that belief for so long. Regina had never been one to fall for superstition. She'd never wished on shooting stars, or searched for four-leafed clovers. She scowled at palm readers and never once looked at the astrology section of the newspaper but somehow this is the one thing that managed to slip through her skepticism.

"That's just an old wives' tale," he tiredly insisted.

Regina tore her eyes away from the monitor long enough to send him a withering glare. "Ten generations without a single penis is not an old wives' tale," she stated matter-of-factly.

She still remembered hearing the story from her mother when she was a little girl. Apparently, one of her ancestors had been a prosecutor during the salem witch trials. He'd arranged the burning of a young girl who he believed to be a witch. Her mother overcome with grief shouted a hex at him in the center of town, cursing him and his young wife to only give birth to daughters so he'd one day share the pain of losing one. The woman was burned days later, at her ancestor's direction no less, but her curse had stood. He'd ended up with five beautiful daughters, but lost the youngest to an unfortunate drowning accident. Since then the women in her family only had daughters, no sons.

Of course, she'd been skeptical at first but after a detailed family tree project in middle school she found the legend to be true. After the incident not one of her maternal relatives had given birth to a son. Daughters only.

She couldn't argue with evidence like that.

Dr. Johnson simply shakes her head and offers a smirk before moving on. "Like I said it's too early to prove or disprove anything. However, it is not too early for pictures. I assume you'd like some?"

"Yes, dozens," said Robin, nodding his head.

"I think three will be good for now," she chuckled.

Robin knit his eyebrows together. "Three?"

"One for you, one for me and one for the scrapbook."

Despite her apprehension Regina had bought a baby book no less than 24 hours after discovering she was pregnant. This was her first child and she planned on documenting all aspects of their pregnancy and childhood, meticulously.

She looked up at Robin, determined. "That reminds me you should come over later and fill out some of the first pages with me."

"What's there to fill out?" he playfully asked, gesturing toward the monitor. "Or child doesn't even have fingers yet."

"Actually she does," the doctor replied, matter of factly. "At eight weeks in your baby's developed webbed fingers, toes and eyelids."

Robin raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Eyelids? Really?"

Dr. Johnson nodded, a knowing smile on her face. "Oh yes. Pick up a by-week pregnancy guide. You'd be surprised what's going on in there."

"Oh I already got one for him in the car," said Regina. She turned to Robin. "I was gonna give it to you after the ultrasound."

Smiling down at her, Robin couldn't stop himself from reaching out to push a stray hair from her forehead. "What would I do without you?"

"Flounder, probably," replied Regina, returning his smile.

For a second she allows herself to bask in the moment. She's pregnant and having a baby with a man she loves. Perhaps not in the way that she'd expected to love her child's father, but still a man she loved. She and Robin were going to be a family together and right now she couldn't imagine anything better.

They spent a few more minutes marveling at the ultrasound before the moment came to an end. Not long after Dr. Johnson was walking them out of her office, handing them their sonogram photos.

"Now I know this your first pregnancy so I don't hesitate to call me with any questions," she said, placing a hand on Regina's shoulder. "You won't be bothering me I promise."

"Oh I've definitely got a list a mile long so email's probably best," replied Regina, still grinning down at the sonogram photo in her hand. "Thank you so much Dr. Johnson."

The doctor waved off her formality. "Oh honey, in less than eight months I'll be between your legs delivering your first child. You can just call me Eudora."

Regina let out a sharp laugh, thrown off by her blunt remark. "Okay thank you… Eudora."

"Of course," she said giving them both a nod. "I'll see you two in a few weeks."

"Thank you," said Robin, replied as she walked away. He smiled as Regina passed him his copy of the sonogram. Even as they walked toward the elevator neither of them could take their eyes off it. As the doors slide closed she lets out a fluttering sigh.

"I can't believe this is real," she marveled. Staring at the picture in her hand feels like a dream. She knows she could spend hours, days even, studying that small black and white image and not get bored at all. It blows her mind that this small, indescribable blob, barely even an inch long, is going to grow into her child. God, she can't wait to meet her.

She feels Robin's hand slip into her own, and she looks up to see him smiling at her, the joy in his eyes clearer than ever.

"We did it," he whispers, squeezing her hand in excitement.

She smiles at him, lacing her fingers through his. Somehow, it feel like a lifetime ago that the two of them were sitting in their booth at Granny's and he was asking her for her eggs. She'd had no idea that things would've ended up this good.

The elevator dings, and they step out onto the first floor.

"Well look who's here."

Regina instantly drops Robin's hand at the sound of the intruding voice. "Zelena."

She quickly slips her sonogram into her jacket pocket before turning around to see her sister watching them as she stood next to the elevator.

Based on looks you'd never know the two women were sisters, or even related at all. While Regina had inherited her dark coloring from her father's puerto rican side, her half sister took after her own father. Even when tied up in a bun, Zelena's shock red curls were always the first thing people would notice about her, always immediately followed by her piercing blue eyes. That along with her height, british accent and the stethoscope around her neck made for an intimidating presence even at first glance. She raised one thin eyebrow at her younger sister, silently questioning her presence.

Regina cleared her throat uncomfortably. "I didn't expect to see you here."

Zelena tilted her head condescendingly. "At the hospital where I work?" she drawled, dropping her hands into the pockets of her lab coat.

Regina shrugged, nonchalantly. She mentally cursed herself for not coming up with something more sly to say. Barreling past her screw up she asked, "Just starting your shift?"

"Hardly," replied Zelena. "Had to come in two hours early for an emergency c-section. It went flawlessly."

"Of course it did," Regina muttered under her breath.

Her sister could never make it through a conversation without casually bragging about herself at least once. After graduating at the top of her class from Harvard Medical School and becoming one of only eight double board certified neonatal surgeons in the country Zelena saw no point in faking humility. She was annoyingly gifted in her field, even Regina couldn't deny her that. It made her decision to practice in their small town hospital especially confounding.

Zelena eyed her suspiciously. "What are you doing here? And why'd you bring him?"

She glanced toward Robin with disdain and he rolled his eyes. After more than 20 years of friendship with Regina, Robin could count all the times he'd spoken to Zelena using only his two hands with fingers to spare.

"Flu shots," Robin immediately replied.

Zelena narrowed her eyes at them. "In March?"

"What can I say? We procrastinated," said Regina, deftly hopping onboard with Robin's lie.

Humming softly, Zelena studied them both, unconvinced, before rolling her eyes and moving on. Crossing her arms, she turned her attention back to Regina. "Dinner is tonight. Will you be there?"

"Yes," Regina sighed, tiredly. "I will be there as I've told both you and mother, multiple times."

"Well I'll believe it when I see it," her sister replied. Pushing pass them both she called for the elevator, sending them both a close-lipped smile as she stepped inside. "Enjoy your immunity."

Regina let out a sigh of relief as soon as she saw the elevator doors close. One look at Robin and she knew he did the same.

He raised his eyebrows at her, attempting to slap on a lighthearted smile. "Your sister… always such a pleasure."

Regina softly chuckled in agreement. She wishes she could say that seeing Zelena didn't put a damper on her mood but it did. Walking out of the hospital, she's suddenly plagued with thoughts of her sister and mother and what their reactions will be when they find out about her pregnancy. The thought of it chills her.

As they walk towards their cars, she reaches out to touch Robin's shoulder. "Hey… I know this is so exciting but… do you think we can still keep it to ourselves for a little while longer?"

Robin's pace slows as he bows his head, acceptingly. "Can I ask why?"

"It's just still so early we don't know what's gonna happen yet," she explains.

He comes to a complete stop then, quick to reassure her that _everything will be fine_.

"I know," she drawls, stopping to lightly grasp his fingers. "But I want to be completely certain. Everything I've read says that it's best to wait until the three month mark before telling others. There's less of a chance of miscarriage and it means less stress for me if our families don't know."

Robin sighs but tilts his head in consideration. "So you want a little more time in our bubble?"

"Please?" she playfully drawls, already knowing that he's ready to agree.

He nods, giving in to her. "Alright, whatever you need."

Without even thinking about it she leans forward to press a quick kiss to his cheek, a tingle falling down her spine as her lips brush against her skin. "Thank you," she whispers.

He smiles at her in that soft loving way that's started to make her heart grow warmer every time she sees it. "Of course. Now… show me this book you got me."

She giggles happily before reaching into her car to pull out the pregnancy guide she'd bought for him the day before. As they spend a few minutes looking over it together, thoughts of her family subside… for now.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Robin always knew that he'd never held much of a poker face. Unlike the mother of his child, his emotions were always worn on his sleeve, visible to all who looked. That being said, everyone he ran into that day could see that he was in an exceptionally good mood. There was a smile on his face, a spring in his step and a sonogram picture burning a hole in his pocket.

He'd been on cloud nine ever since Regina told him she was pregnant but there was something about seeing that sonogram today, something about seeing his baby, that had pushed him over the edge. It just felt like he could jump up and reach the sky, he was so happy.

A feeling like that wasn't something he could keep secret.

He knew he and Regina had agreed to keep the pregnancy to themselves for a while but he reasoned that Will and Emma didn't count. They were family to him and it wasn't as if they would tell anyone else, certainly not anyone who mattered. So when he showed up at the station for work and they asked about the smile on his face, he dropped the sonogram on the kitchen table without hesitation.

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Will, a grin breaking out on his face. He snatched up the sonogram and guffawed in excitement. "Your sister's gonna lose her mind!"

"Let me see!" demanded Emma, grabbing the sonogram from Will's hand. She smiled down at it before giving Robin a firm hug. "Congratulations!"

Robin let out happy laugh as she and Will clapped him on the back. "Thanks guys but it's still early so we're keeping it quiet for now."

Will locked his lips together. "Not a word from me until you say so," he promised. "Not even to Belle."

"And I have no one to tell so you've got no problems from me," joked Emma, shrugging her shoulders. She smiled at him. "So… how do you feel?"

Robin sucked in a deep breath, still unable to keep the smile off his face. "I feel good," he laughed. "I don't think I've been this happy… ever."

He didn't realize how true those words were until he said them aloud. It'd been so long since he had something this big to look forward to. The only thing that came close was his wedding to Marian but even that day couldn't touch what he was feeling now that he knew he was going to be a father. It was more than he'd ever felt before.

"You nervous?" asked Will.

"A little," Robin admitted, with a sigh. "I mean I've always felt like I've done pretty well for myself but now…"

"You have this sudden urgent need to get your shit together?" Emma finished for him, knowingly. She nodded, passing back the sonogram. "Yeah, I remember that. You never realize how little you have until there's someone you want to give the world to."

Robin nodded in agreement, looking down at the sonogram. It was just a blob. The most amazing, mesmerizing blob he'd ever seen but still barely a life at this point. Still he knew he'd do anything for it. There was nothing he wanted more in the world than to make sure that this person who hardly even existed yet came into the best possible world he could make for them.

"How about Regina? How's she doing?" asked Will.

"Good," replied Robin. "I haven't seen her smile this much in years but I know she's nervous about telling her family."

"She doesn't think they'll be happy?" said Emma, concern coloring her tone.

Robin softly hissed, shaking his head. "Honestly… I doubt it. Her mother is such a piece of work. It's probably the main reason we're holding off on telling others."

The thought of her heading to the mansion for dinner tonight unnerved him. Cora always had a way of getting underneath Regina's skin and she didn't deserve that, especially not now. The stress of being around her mother couldn't be good for the baby. He'd go with her if he could but he knew she'd never ask.

"And what about you?" asked Emma. "How are you feeling...about her?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, annoyed. "Emma…"

"I'm just asking," she said, raising her hands in surrender. "Now that she's officially pregnant, I'm assuming that the arrangement you two had is done, right?"

"It is," Robin mumbled, noncommittally.

Emma shrugged her shoulders. "So that's just it? You're just going back to being friends just like that?"

"Of course," said Robin, nonplussed. "That was always the plan. Nothing's changed."

"You mean besides the fact that you've seen each other naked," Will pointed out, still dubious.

"Well I've seen you naked too Will, and somehow we're still friends," quipped Robin, remembering an unfortunate incident at Belle's apartment. "And believe me, after seeing that image I was more than willing to drop you."

Will winced. "Oh please don't bring that up," he groaned.

"Please," begged Emma. "You might have the picture in your head but I don't want it in mine, thank you."

Robin laughed off their concerns. "Seriously guys, thanks for your concern but we're fine. Things are going as planned and honestly I think the only person either of us is having feelings for right now is our baby."

Emma scrunched up her face as if she wanted to say more but in the end she shrugged her shoulders and offered a sincere smile. "If you say so Robin. I'm happy it's all working out for you."

"Me too, mate," said Will clapping him on the back. "And I can't wait until I see the look on your sister's face when she finds out."

Suddenly, the sound of "Doo Wah Diddy Diddy" rang through the kitchen. Will pulled his phone out of his pocket at the sound of the familiar ringtone, smiling when he saw who was calling. "Speak of the devil," he muttered.

Catching sight of Belle's face on the screen, Robin's eyes went stern. "Will…"

"Don't worry I can keep a secret," said Will, waving him off. He raised the phone to his ear, smiling as he left the table. "Hello darling…"

Emma watched him leave an amused look on her face. Turning back to Robin she said, "I bet you 20 bucks right now he'll tell Belle by lunch."

Shaking his head, Robin chuckled. "Nah. Will's the most loyal person I know. He'll keep quiet, even if it's from Belle."

"Are you worried at all?" asked Emma. "About telling your family, I mean?"

Robin shrugged his shoulders. "Not really," he mused. "I can't imagine anyone having anything bad to say about it. I think they'll all be pretty excited about a new member."

There were few families in town closer than the Lucas-Locksely clan. They were a small bunch, all stemming from random branches of their family tree, brought together by fate and loss. Him, Belle, Ruby and Granny - they were the type of family that had weekly dinners and hung out on weekends. They told each other secrets and had each other's backs, even when they were kids and even when they hadn't exactly deserved it from each other. As much as he missed his parents, Robin couldn't imagine growing up in another household. He couldn't wait to share his news with them.

Emma rested her chin in her palm. "What about the Regina factor?"

"What Regina factor?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Don't play stupid Robin. You know your family has always waited for the day when you two would finally get together."

A soft laugh fell from Robin at Emma's words. It's true that in the past his family had once held the expectation of something romantic forming between he and Regina. When they were in middle school Ruby used to constantly pester him about having a crush on her and Belle had tried on no less than three occasions to "parent-trap" them in high school. Even Granny had once said she'd thought they'd end up together. It used to irritate them both to no end.

"That was in the past," Robin reminded Emma. "They all know better now."

Emma scrunched up her face, groaning as she shook her head. "They used to know better," she corrected. "Robin you're having a baby with her now. So just be prepared for all those expectations to rear their head again."

"Is that what it was like for you and Killian?" he asked.

"Pretty much," she sighed. Her eyes went soft as she reminisced. "We'd only been together for five months but as soon as that plus sign showed up… it was like marriage was the only thing anyone could see for us."

Robin thoughtfully nodded his head. He knew that the idea of getting was one of the main factors that ended Emma's relationship with Killian. He had been ready when she wasn't. In the end, they never even got engaged.

"You know what the weirdest thing is about having a kid?" she mumbled. "Everyone suddenly feels like they can have an opinion on your life and your choices."

Robin sent her a pointed look. "Yeah, I think I have some experience with what you mean."

Rolling her eyes, Emma scoffed. "Okay, that's fair. You have had to deal with me but I'm serious. Babies can make people passionate in the best and worst ways. So be ready, you might have to defend some of your choices to the people you love the most."

"I know what you mean," replied Robin. "But it's not the people I love that I'm worried about."

"You're worried about her family," recalled Emma, grimacing. "Do you really think it'll be that bad?"

"It could be."

Robin sucked his teeth, remembering all the tight spots Regina's mother had pushed her into before. Her first engagement, her first break up with Daniel. It just seemed like every time she had something that made her happy, her mother was there to push her in the opposite direction.

"Just make sure you're there for her," Emma softly advised.

"I will be," he easily said. "I always have been."

Emma shook her head. "No, it'll be different now. It'll be… more."

Leaning back in her seat she sighed. "Look I know I come here and I bitch about Killian more than any other person who's met him but the truth is… I'd do almost anything for that man. He's my kid's father, you know?"

"I know you and Regina already have this lifelong friendship where you have each other's back no matter what but… pretty soon you're gonna have this baby in your life that means more to you than anything or anyone else in the world. And soon you'll realize that there's only one other person in the world who cares for your kid as much as you do and that's her. That realization is gonna bond you… intensely. It'll make you want to protect each other in ways you didn't even know existed, be there each other in ways you didn't expect. It'll change things for you two."

He smiled at Emma. "Look at you… waxing all poetic."

She smirked at him. "Don't get used to it. I'm just saying don't be surprised when you start feeling more for her because… honestly, there's no way you won't."

Robin simply nodded, already knowing what she meant. That morning in the doctor's office looking at that sonogram… it was like nothing else mattered, or even existed. There was only them… and their baby.

He'd always thought of Regina as family but in that moment it had never felt more true.

All that was left was to tell the world.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pulling up to her childhood home, Regina couldn't tell if it was nausea or dread that had her stomach in such a twist.

In a way she was disappointed with herself. She'd just seen her baby for the first time. Sure the picture had been grainy and nearly indecipherable but it was still the most incredible thing that she'd ever seen in her entire life. She should be reveling in that, feeling joy about it but all she could think about was this stupid dinner. It was trampling her mood.

Ever since her father had died, Cora had started a tradition of monthly dinners. In theory, it was meant to bring them closer together, force them to forge some sort of bond with each other. Regina had been open to it at first but it soon became clear that these dinners were less about family intimacy and more about criticism. No matter how civil it appeared on the surface it was always just a thinly veiled opportunity for her mother to judge her life, and Zelena's, while offering unsolicited advice. It'd been four years of this and it hadn't gotten any better. She'd quit the whole farce but she'd promised her father she'd try. And it's not like she can go back on a deathbed promise.

She was let inside by one of the maids and walking into the foyer, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes when she noted that her mother had replaced the mirror on the wall and switched out the old hatrack for a new one. Cora was always changing something inside the house. Always renovating or redecorating, she could never just let things be. Regina hadn't been out of the house a year before her mother transformed her childhood room into a second guest bedroom. The only place in the house that remained untouched was her father's study. Not a thing had changed in it since the day he died, it was one of the few things that comforted her whenever she was forced to return to the house.

"Regina?"

Sucking in a deep breath, Regina steeled her resolve as she walked into the living room. She found Zelena waiting for her on the couch a martini already in hand. Out of her scrubs and white coat, she'd changed into a chic green sweater and a pair of classy grey capris. Her red hair fell over her shoulder, as an annoyed look of relief passed across her sister's face when she entered the room.

"Thank god," she muttered. "For a second I thought you weren't going to show."

Regina glared at her. "I said I would Zelena."

"Saying you'll do something and actually doing it are two very different things, sis," said Zelena, raising her glass for another sip. "You're a lawyer, you should know that."

Regina clenched and unclenched her fists. _Don't throttle her, she saves lives,_ she silently reminded herself.

Instead she took a seat next to her sister on the couch, sighing as she looked around the room. "Where's Mother?"

"Checking on dinner," replied Zelena, standing to her feet the moment Regina sat down. She walked over to the dining cart where the liquor was kept. "Martini?"

Regina bit her lip. God she'd love a drink. It was the only way she'd managed to get through these dinners in the past but of course she couldn't.

"Not interested," she replied.

Zelena narrowed her eyes, suddenly suspicious. "Really?"

"Really."

A smirk appeared on Zelena's face as she reached for the gin. "Well, alright then."

She didn't know why but goosebumps rose on Regina's arm as she watched her sister make herself a second martini. The entire time Zelena's eyes never left her face as she stared at her younger sister with unavoidable scrutiny. It was the same feeling she got when her mother caught her doing something behind her back, like a invisible pair of shackles had just clamped around her ankle.

Zelena silently poured her martini into a glass before joining Regina back on the couch. She sighed contently, leaning back into her seat then daringly locking her eyes onto her sister's.

"So… how long have you been knocked up?"

 _Oh shit._ Every muscle in Regina's body went stiff as she fought to keep a neutral expression on her face.

"Excuse me?"

Zelena shook her head, a shit-eating grin on her face. "Don't play dumb with me, sis. I'm up to my elbows in pregnant women nearly 12 hours a day. I know one when I see one." Still smug, she ran her eyes over Regina's body. "Busting out of your bra, clammy skin from the morning sickness and a willingness to sit through Cora's presence without the aid of alcohol, a feat that hasn't been repeated since your 21st birthday. You're pregnant. Just admit it."

There was nothing Regina wanted more than to just run out the house the same way she came in. She sat there for three seconds, silent, just thinking to herself that the front door was less than 20 feet away. 20 feet and she'd escape all of this. Zelena's interrogating gaze, the litany of judgemental questions that was sure to come. She could just run.

But she didn't. Instead she just sighed, straightened her back and replied, "I'm… eight weeks along. I just saw the doctor today."

For a moment she sees something pass across her sister's blue eyes, something soft and possibly even loving but it's gone in a flash. Zelena let out a soft breath as if she was surprised that she'd been correct. "Well… that's wonderful news."

"Really?" Regina's voice comes out more hopeful than she intended. Could her sister possibly be happy for her?

"Of course," Zelena replied, a devious smirk crawling onto her face. "I can't wait to see the sparks fly when you let Cora know."

Regina's heart sunk as her sister chuckled to herself. Of course she wasn't truly happy about the baby; she was just thrilled at the chance to see Cora grind Regina under her heel. Regina didn't why she'd dared to hope for anything different.

"Oh this is shaping up to be an entertaining night indeed," said Zelena, still wickedly grinning at her.

Regina simply fixed a tight-lipped smile on her face as she glared back at her. "Thanks sis. It's always so nice to have your support."

She'd never understand why Zelena seemed set on reveling in her misery but she didn't care. All she cared about was getting through this dinner with as little pain as possible. And that made her sister irrelevant. Zelena was a reveler, not an instigator. No, the main person to watch out for was her mother.

"Regina?"

Speak of the devil.

She heard the clicking of her mother's heels before she saw her face. Her response would've made Pavlov proud. The minute she heard that sound - the sound of expensive heels against marble floors - her back straightened, her hands went to her lap and a shiver went down her spine. A sudden urge to look in the mirror and make sure not a strand of hair was out of place came over her.

Seconds later, her mother appeared in the living room. She had to have left the office hours ago but she was still dressed in her black pantsuit, perfectly coiffed without one hair out of place. She smiled when she saw Regina waiting for her on the couch.

"I thought I heard you dear," she said. She walked over to give her a stiff kiss on the cheek. "Welcome back."

"Thank you mother," said Regina.

Cora looked her over, narrowing her eyes in scrutiny as she stroked her cheek. "Are you feeling alright, sweetheart? You look pale."

Despite the nausea swirling in her stomach, Regina kept her smile in place. "I'm fine mother. It's just a new shade of make-up I'm trying."

"Oh." Cora pursed her lips. "You should switch back."

Regina bit her tongue, swallowing a witty comeback.

Meanwhile Cora's eyes drifted over to Zelena. She saw the martini in her hand and shook her head, judgmentally. "Is that your third or your fifth Zelena?"

"It's only my second, mother," Zelena replied, a saccharine smile on her face. "But rest assured, I'll speed up if that's what you prefer."

Cora bristled at her eldest daughter's boldness, but offered no reply. She simply sucked in an annoyed breath and remained silent.

Regina observed their exchange, curiously. It had always irked her, how differently her mother treated Zelena. It was irritating to know that while she'd breathed down Regina's neck her entire life, she'd given her older sister all the freedom in the world. Even when it came to back talk.

"The cook's finally done with dinner," announced Cora. "Shall we sit?"

Regina nodded, eager to get the meal over with so she could leave, hopefully without revealing anything about the baby. Of course, that would be easier said than done. Dinner was a minefield and she stepped right onto an explosive the second she sat down.

"Wine?" Cora offered.

Regina hesitated, eyeing the expensive bottle of red wine her mother held up, knowing any other night she would had no less than two glasses to start. From the corner of her eye she saw Zelena smirk in her direction, clearly eager to see how she dodged this particular bullet.

"Um… I'll pass for tonight."

Cora's eyebrows lifted, surprised. "Really?"

"Yes." Regina nodded. "I am… on a cleanse for the month. No alcohol."

On the other side of the table she heard Zelena snort at her lie. "Wow sis," she drawled. "What spurned you to take such an interest in your health?"

Regina glared at her but Zelena just kept a smirk on her face as she took another sip from her martini. So much for sisterly support.

Through gritted teeth she lied, "Mal did. She's doing the cleanse and I wanted to show my support. There's strength in solidarity."

"There's strength in solitude," replied Cora, taking her seat at the head of the table. "An accomplishment means nothing if you need hand-holding to get there."

Regina resisted the urge to roll her eyes, sure that her mother was about to launch into another tirade about the power of surviving on your own. It was a lesson she'd had drilled into her head ever since she was a child. Cora was always reminding her that self-sufficiency was key, that no one in life would ever carry her so she damn sure better learn to carry herself. It was a miserable lesson and, of course, the last thing you want to hear when a friendship ends or your heart gets broken. Yet, it was always her mother's go to.

Luckily, Regina wasn't forced to sit through that lecture tonight as the wait staff came out with their salad course, which turned out to be the one course that she was actually able to stomach. The rest of the evening was just a parade of triggers for her nausea. It was as if her mother had chosen menu items based on their ability to make her stomach swirl. French onion soup, garlic bread and chilean sea bass for the main course. Every smell hit in her gut, forcing her to clench her jaw as she struggled not to visibly gag. By the time dinner was almost over she'd nearly vomited at least four times. Three courses and she'd barely taken more than one bite out of any of them. Thankfully, her mother didn't notice.

Cora was too absorbed in telling her daughters about the day she'd had at city hall.

"So I met with the state attorney general today," she remarked. "A rather impressive man."

Zelena let out a strained hum, knowing exactly was coming. Regina, however, was so busy trying to suppress her nausea that the red flag went completely over her head.

"What did he want?" she asked.

"Just some background information for a case he's working on with the state parks service," Cora answered, turning to Regina. "I gave him your number."

Regina went still as the red flag hit her in the face. Her nausea disappeared as she looked over at her mother trying to quell what she hoped was premature irritation.

"Oh?" she said, her voice as steady and sharp as a razor's edge. "And I assume that was meant for work only."

"Of course," said Cora, nonchalantly. She paused. "And if a connection just happens to be made…"

"Jesus Mother," hissed Regina, dropping her head into her hands.

"He's a good man Regina," Cora insisted. "Yale law, no kids, never married."

Regina remained silent, bristling over her mother's comments. It was one year to the day after Daniel's death when Cora had first tried to set her up again. She'd been staying with them while she grieved and she'd come downstairs to find her mother having coffee with the son of one of her old colleagues. Within ten minutes she was trapped into the conversation with her mother steering them both toward an evening out. She'd moved out of the mansion that same day, but not before making it clear to her mother that she was never again to insert herself into her romantic life, not then, not ever. Even with the hard line she drew, her demands fell on deaf ears. Every few months or so Cora would drop another man in her line of sight. Always wealthy, always connected and accomplished… and arrogantly aware of it. She never let up.

Sighing Regina calmly replied. "I'm not interested."

Cora shook her head, annoyed. "My god, Regina don't you think it's been long enough?"

Sucking in a deep breath, Regina clenched her jaw shut willing herself not to scream.

"You have mourned your husband for the last five years," Cora pointed out. "Do you plan on doing it for the rest of your life?"

Spikes of anger flared through her. "You know what mother, it's none of your business if I do. I'm an adult."

Cora ignored her, leaning forward in her seat. "It is time for you to move on, to build a life. There's nothing stopping you."

Zelena, on her third martini, struggled to stifle a snort. "Oh isn't there?"

That comment got their mother's attention. The air grew thick as Regina silently glared daggers at her sister from across the table.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Cora questioned, staring down Zelena who simply shrugged her shoulders and dropped her gaze down to her place.

Cora turned her attention back to her other daughter. "What is that supposed to mean, Regina?"

Sitting there under the bullets of her mother's gaze, Regina felt her skin grow hot. For a moment she briefly considered lying or deflecting, but Cora's piercing brown eyes were relentless. They silently demanded answers… honest answers.

Gripping her fork tight, Regina straightened her back, trying to silently remind herself that she was a grown woman. Her choices were her own and she didn't need anyone's approval, especially not Cora's.

"Mother… I have some news."

Everything at the table went still as Cora continued to stare at her expectantly. "Well?"

Her chest tight with anxiety she choked out, "I'm going to be a mother. I'm pregnant."

If someone told Regina that the world stopped spinning the moment those words left her mouth, she would've believed them. Everything in the room went still. Even Zelena for all her quips and resentments remained silent as they waited for the news to sink into Cora's head.

Regina watched with bated breath as her mother stared her down, her face still as stone but her anger and disbelief growing more evident with every passing second.

Cora swallowed, deliberately setting down her fork, and pressing her lips together into thin line. She scoffed, still in shock. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm pregnant," Regina repeated, with a nod. "About eight weeks along."

Cora fell back in her seat, lips parted in disbelief she shook her head. "How could you let that happen?"

Regina narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"I said how could you let that happen!" Cora raised her voice, making Regina go rigid.

Sucking in a deep breath she tried to maintain her composure. "It wasn't something I let happen, it was something I made happen."

Cora's eyes widened. "Made happen?"

"Yes!"

"As in on purpose?" An angry huff of breath fell from Cora's lips. "How could you make such a foolish choice without even telling me?"

"Maybe because I'm thirty-two years old and it was my choice to make." Her nails dug into her palm as she clenched her fists beneath the table. "An accomplishment means nothing if you need your hand held. Wasn't that what you said, mother?"

"Don't take that tone with me," warned Cora, her voice going deathly low. "I can't believe you did this to yourself."

Regina's skin grew hot with anger. "How can you say that? You're the one who's constantly breathing down my neck, telling me how old I'm getting and how I'm running out of time to start a family."

"Running out of time to have a family the right way, Regina!" Cora suddenly leaned forward in her seat, her voice bouncing off the walls. "With a husband, not on your own! For god sakes, do you know what you've done? Do you know how hard you've made things for yourself?!"

"Oh my god," muttered Regina. Frustrated, she threw her head into her hands. "Mother… I am a grown woman. I own my own home. I do more than well at my job. I can take care of me and anyone else who comes along for that matter."

Cora leaned back in her seat and let out a seething breath, still unconvinced. "And what about the father, I assume you know who he is?"

Regina didn't answer, sinking back into her chair. God, she hadn't wanted to get into to this tonight.

"Oh Regina, please tell me you didn't use an anonymous donor." Disgust drips from Cora's lips at the idea of it and Regina rolls her eyes.

"No," she drawled, shaking her head. "The baby's father… is Robin."

"The firefighter?" Zelena finally enters the conversation, a twisted look of confusion on her face. "Seriously?"

Regina barely has the chance to reply before she hears Cora's wry chuckles from the head of the table.

"Oh… of course," her mother hissed. "Of course it's him."

Regina straightened up in her seat, sensing a familiar rant about to start. "Mother…"

"I always knew he'd be the one to ruin your future…"

"Mother…"

"You have lusted over that man since you were children!"

"I never lusted after him!"

"And now he's led you astray again! Just like he did when you were engaged to Leo!"

"Don't you dare bring that man up!" cried Regina, jumping out of her seat. "I never wanted to marry him and you know that!"

"Of course you didn't!" Cora angrily shot back. "You've never wanted anything that was good for you! As you've proven yet again!"

Regina shuddered when her mother gestured toward her stomach. Stressed she ran her fingers through her hair. "God, I can't believe I let myself believe for one second that you might be supportive of me."

"Oh please, Regina what did you expect me to say?"

Still trembling with emotion she desperately replied, "A congratulations would be nice."

Cora simply shook her head. "What is there to congratulate?"

All her life Regina had taken hits from her mother - some unintentional, some with purpose - but nothing had ever shaken her as much as the callous five words she'd just said.

Fighting the tears welling up in her eyes, Regina shook her head, stepping away from the table. "I'm done here."

Her throat growing tight, she stormed out of the dining room, ignoring her mother's calls for her to come back and grabbed her purse from the hallway closet. Without another thought she headed out the door, slamming it behind her.

The cold night air hit her hot skin and she let out a heavy breath. Her stomach swirled as she breathed in the smell of the outdoors. She barely made it two steps from the porch when the nausea overtook her. Before she even knew what was happening, she was doubled over, emptying her stomach into the bushes.

Over the sound of her own heaving, she could hear the front door open and shut again. Wiping the remains of her vomit on her sleeve, she groaned in disgust, praying to god that it wasn't her mother catching her in such an undignified position.

Thankfully, when she looked up she only saw her sister looking down at her in disgust. "Puking in the bushes Regina? Will you be striking every pregnancy cliche?"

Regina ignored her crack, simply rolling her eyes as she straightened up. "Thought you'd still be inside, reveling in Cora's disappointment of me."

Zelena shrugged. "Mother has retired for the evening. She suggested I do the same."

Resting her hand on her stomach, Regina breathed in through her nose trying to quell the nausea still swirling in her gut.

Zelena narrowed her eyes at her. "Morning sickness?"

Regina nodded, reluctantly admitting, "It comes and goes as it pleases."

Rolling her eyes, Zelena dug through her purse and pulled out a lollipop. She handed it to Regina. "Here suck on this. All my patients swear by them."

Eyeing the candy warily, Regina took it from her reading the wrapper. _Preggie Pops_.

"They'll help with your nausea," Zelena explained. "You should get yourself a box."

"Thanks," mumbled Regina, caught off guard by her sister's unexpected kindness.

Clearing her throat, Zelena dropped her gaze to the ground before speaking again. "You know… she really should've seen it coming."

"What?" replied Regina, knitting her eyebrows together.

"Cora," said Zelena, tilting her head back toward the house. "She should've known you'd want to be a mother."

Crossing her arms, she let out an annoyed sigh. "When you were three years old your father got you a baby doll. You named it Bella and you used to carry it everywhere you went, calling it your baby. You carried that thing around for a year a half until it was utterly destroyed."

A huff of breath fell from Regina's lips as she thought back to the doll her sister spoke of. She had vague memories of an old, tattered doll, with lopsided glass eyes and a stained cloth body. God, she'd loved that thing so much.

"The day you lost it you were devastated," Zelena reminded her. "I remember because you wouldn't stop crying for the next two days." She paused. "I also remember because it was the day I knew that you were meant to be a mom… and a good one too."

Regina listened to her sister's words, searching for any hint of sarcasm but she found none. She actually seemed sincere.

"Congratulations little sis," Zelena mumbled under her breath. She gave Regina one last look before wordlessly turning away.

Regina could only watch as she climbed into her Mercedes and drove away, leaving her with only the crickets for company.

Sighing Regina headed toward her own car. She could muse over her sister's sudden sincerity tomorrow but tonight she just wanted to go home, climb into bed and just recover from this disaster of a dinner.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Driving home Regina could still feel heat burning behind her eyes and pressure weighing down in her chest. Sucking in deep breaths trying to steady herself, she focused all her energy on getting back home, where it was safe, where she could recuperate and rinse the taste of vomit out of her mouth. Blasting the radio on while she drove, she tried to let the music drown out the echoes of Cora's words.

Yes, her mother had been awful but she always was. And yes, her words stung but that would pass. It always did.

By the time she pulled up to her apartment building, she felt almost okay. Dinner had been stressful, but it was over now. She could relax. A plan had already started to form in her head for the rest of the night. Since drinking was out of the question for the next few months, she'd try and relax with a nice warm bath, actually bust out one of those luxury bath bombs she was usually too busy for and enjoy the soak for once. Afterwards she could put on some soft music, comfortable pajamas and read one of the books Belle had been recommending for weeks now, escape reality for a bit. The thought of those things was already bringing her back to life.

Walking in her apartment, she threw her keys on the living room coffee table and dropped her purse on the couch with a sigh.

Regina liked her apartment. She'd moved in a few months after Daniel died, after enduring a short stint back with her parents while she was grieving. The idea of it had seemed a bit daunting at first, living alone and moving on. She'd never had a place to herself before and never really thought that she would after she got married, however, she quickly learned that living alone had its perks. It was the first time she'd been able to create a space for herself without compromise for anyone else. Everything from the cream-colored sofa to the burgundy drapes and war horse bookends bore her mark. It was her apartment and she loved it. She was safe here. Free.

Slipping off her shoes she headed for her bedroom, intending to pick out her most luxurious silk pajamas for the night but stopped short when she saw what sat on her bed.

In the center of her duvet laid the baby book she'd bought when she'd found she was pregnant. She'd forgotten that she'd been looking at it this morning, flipping through it and imagining all the answers she and Robin would fill it with.

Tears filled her eyes as she remembered page five. The page dedicated to grandparents.

Her mother didn't want her to have this baby. Her child was going to grow up with a grandmother who didn't approve of her existence. Tears ran down her face as she sobbed at the realization of just what kind of family she'd be bringing her baby into. Would she grow up feeling unloved by her grandmother? She wouldn't even know her grandfather Henry. He was dead… and so were Robin's parents. Cora would be the only living grandparent their child had and she already wanted her gone.

Oh god…

Before she knew it she'd crawled into bed, still dressed in her clothes for the day, crying her eyes out as she clutched one of her pillows into her chests. She didn't know how long she stayed there just crying. It was like she couldn't stop. She was just too sad.

Then she heard her phone ring. Sitting up in bed, it was like a switch went off. Her tears stopped and she swiped at her eyes, wiping away the tears as she headed to living room to get her cell phone from her purse. Seeing Robin's face flashing on the screen she lets out a soft groan. She forgot he was supposed to come over to help with the scrapbook. He couldn't see her like this, he'd freak out.

Clearing her throat, she answered the phone, trying to sound as normal as possibly. "Hey."

"Hey!" Robin's cheerful tone came through the speaker. He sounded so happy she could practically hear his smile. "How was dinner?"

Regina pressed her lips together, hesitantly. "It was… fine," she lied, as convincingly as possible. "Cora was… Cora and I won't have to do it again until next month. Thank god."

She pulled a smile on her face, trying to trick her voice into sounding happier but judging by the silence on Robin's end she doubts that she succeeded.

"Are you alright," he asks, the concern clear in his voice.

"I'm fine," she said, shaking her head. "I just… I remembered that I had some work to do when I got home so if we could reschedule the whole scrapbook night…"

Again, he paused. "That's fine, I guess. Are you sure you're okay?"

Feeling her throat tighten, she nodded. "I'm okay," she said forcing herself to sound cheerful. "I just have to work, I promise."

"Okay," he said, sounding unconvinced. "I'll text you tomorrow."

"Sounds good," she replied, before ending the call. Pulling the phone away from her ear she let out a relieved breath.

Normally, she'd be able to talk to Robin about anything but the idea of telling him that her mother didn't want their child to exist… it just killed her.

Pressing a hand to her stomach, she thought of the baby inside her. Stress wasn't good for her child, she silently reminded herself. She had a plan to relax when she got home. She should stick to it.

Digging underneath her bathroom sink she pulled out a bath bomb and used it to run herself a calming lavender infused bath. She soaked for half an hour letting the smell of the water calm her from the outside in. After finally stepping out she moisturized her skin with a new chamomile lotion that she'd been planning to use for ages. As she rubbed it into her skin she made a mental note to pick up a tub of cocoa butter to help avoid stretch marks as her pregnancy progressed. By the time she pulled on her silk pajamas for the night she felt like a whole new woman. Completely calm.

Once dressed she went back into the living room ready to pick out a book for the night. Looking over her bookcase she realized that the list of books she planned to read had been piling up for a while now. She should get back into the habit of reading. It felt like ages since she'd finished a book for pleasure.

Just as she'd figured which book to get started on she heard a knock at her door. She didn't even have to open it to know who was there. Looking through the peephole she she rolled her eyes when she saw who was on the other side.

Pulling open the door, she shook her head at him. "I told you I had work."

Robin stood in the hallway, hands behind his back with a sheepish look on his face. "I was in the neighborhood," he declared.

"It's a small town Robin. You're always in my neighborhood."

He chuckled, nodding his head. "True but I went to the grocery store and look what I found."

Regina scowled at him as he pulled a pint of ice cream out from behind his back. "You came all the way over here to hand me a pint of ice cream."

"Not just any pint of ice cream," said Robin, shaking his head. "Deluxe chunky monkey, with extra fudge and walnuts."

A snort escaped her as she shook her head at him. "Does this look like the body of someone who eats chunky monkey?"

"Obviously not," he concedes, "given that you've always said any flavor of ice cream other than neapolitan was just self indulgent."

He raised an eyebrow at her judgmentally and she smirked knowing he's remembering their middle school years when she'd become obsessed with her figure and, subsequently, dieting. Ever since then she'd eaten only vanilla ice cream, or coffee when she was feeling extravagant.

"However," he continued, "I figure if weight gain is unavoidable why not let yourself indulge for once. Besides, you wouldn't want to deprive our child of fudge and chocolate chunks, would you?"

He smiles at her, holding out the ice cream imploring her with his puppy dog blue eyes. It's annoying how undeniable he looks.

Shaking her head, she rolls her eyes but steps aside. "You're lucky you caught me in the middle of a break."

She hears him laugh triumphantly as he walks into her apartment and a smile tugs on her lips. Why does smug Robin have to be so goddamn adorable?

Settling down on the couch, she hears him rifling around in her kitchen before joining her with the ice cream and a pair of spoons. He passed the pint over to her.

"Virgins first," he dared.

Regina scoffed. "Of course."

With Robin's impatient eyes watching her she dipped her spoon into the ice cream, scooping up a hefty bite. Sticking it in her mouth, she hummed in delight as the taste of chocolate exploded on her tongue.

Robin laughed at the sound that escaped her. "See what you've been missing?"

Smiling, Regina swallowed her bite and nodded. "I can see its appeal," she reluctantly admitted. "You're not gonna make me share are you?"

Robin narrowed his eyes at her. "I had planned on it but if you wanna use the pregnancy card…"

"It's already out of the deck."

"Okay." Robin sighed, tossing his spoon onto the coffee table. "Ice cream's all yours."

Regina laughed, deviously dipping her spoon back into the dessert. "I knew carrying your kid would come with perks."

Robin shook his head but kept a smile on his face. He watched her eat for a minute before letting out a subtle breath and asking, "So… you want to tell me how dinner really went?"

Regina paused, going rigid as she slipped the spoon from her mouth once again. Her stomach churns as thoughts of her mother dashed through her head. Raising an eyebrow, she averted her gaze. "No."

"Well, tough."

Groaning, she shut her eyes. "Robin…"

"You're the woman carrying my baby. If something's upsetting you I should probably know, right?"

Regina glared at him.

"That's right, I've got cards too," he softly replied. "So… how was dinner?"

Swallowing hard, Regina shook her head feeling all the grief rise up inside her. She shrugged her shoulders and with a lick of her lips said, "It was awful. She couldn't manage a single kind word to me tonight."

Resting her elbows against her knees, she let out a shaky, frustrated breath. Her eyes pinch closed as she remembered her mother's words. _What is there to congratulate?_ It was just so callous.

"You told her about the baby, didn't you?"

Regina nodded. A part of her was surprised that he'd figured it out so quickly but of course he did. He knew her too well. Certainly well enough to know the few things her mother could do to hit her so hard.

"How bad was it?" he asked.

Pressure reappeared in her chest as the emotions she'd tried to suppress rushed back with a vengeance. Her mother's cold remarks ran through her mind, piercing her heart with muted sharpness. The harsh look of disgust on her face.

"She said I was ruining my life and that there was nothing to congratulate," mumbled Regina. Pressing her lips together, she shook her head. "It wasn't like I expected her to be happy I just…"

"You wanted support," Robin finished, sympathetically.

Regina scoffed under her breath. "How stupid was I to think I could get it from my own mother?"

She plastered a sarcastic smile on her face, trying to convince herself of the ludicrousness of that statement. As if it were perfectly normal that a mother could talk her child in such a way. That it was simply par for the course.

Robin saw straight through it. He ran his hand down her back, softly helping to dull her disappointment through his touch..

"Come over here," he gently whispered, pulling her closer.

Huffing, she shook her head resisting his comfort, breathing a soft _Robin_ but he wasn't hearing it.

"Come on," he insisted, leaving his arms open for her. Sighing, she allowed herself to lean into his embrace, a sense of relief flooding through her when she smelled his familiar cologne and felt his arms wrap around her. Focusing on the steady sound of his heartbeat, she fought the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Hugging her tight, he apologized. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It wouldn't have helped," she whispered into his t-shirt. God, she could only imagine how much worse the night would've been if Robin had been by her side. Cora would've torn him to shreds. "You know I think the worst thing about it is, she's gonna be our daughter's only living grandparent. It just makes her reaction so much heavier."

Robin hummed in disappointment. "That's a rough way to think about it but can you imagine if your father was here?"

"Oh my god," she whispered, a genuine smile appearing on her face. "He would've been so happy."

She still remembered the day she told him that she and Daniel had decided to adopt. She'd expected him to be disappointed about not getting a biological grandchild but his reaction couldn't have been better. He'd squeezed her hands tight and, with the widest smile on his face, said that he couldn't wait to meet his future his grandchild, no matter where they came from.

"He used to say that seeing me get the chance to love a child like he loved me was what he most looked forward to in the future," she remembered. "I wish he was here."

"Me too," Robin softly agreed. "Your father would've been an amazing grandfather. He was so cheerful."

"And cuddly," she added, with a little laugh. "He always gave me the best hugs."

Robin nodded. "He was a such a warm man. I hope our baby inherits some of that warmth."

Regina's heart glowed at the thought of her father. Whatever her mother's opinion on this baby may be, she knew her father would have supported her completely. If only he'd been here.

She turned to Robin, curious. "What about your parents? How do you think they'd feel?"

As soon as the question fell from her lips she felt him tense up, clenching his jaw at the mention of his parents. It passed in a second but she noticed how mentioning them affected him. It always did.

"I… honestly don't know," he admitted, with a shrug. "It's been so long since they were here and they died so young I can't really imagine them as grandparents."

Regina shook her head, apologetically. "I'm sorry Robin."

"It's okay." He quickly waved her off. "I still remember them as my parents and I just hope I can live up to how good they were."

A smile crept back onto his face as he thought of all the memories he had of them. "Do you know when I was little and I would wake up with a nightmare my mom would come into my room and put a butterscotch under my pillow?"

Regina raised her eyebrows, amused. "A butterscotch?"

"Yes," Robin chuckled. "She used to tell me the sugar would seep through the pillow and help me have sweet dreams."

"That's so cute." She smiled, imagining six-year old Robin sleeping with candy beneath his pillows.

"Yeah," breathed Robin. He was silent for a moment before excitedly tapping her shoulder. "Hey, you know who's gonna be really excited about this? Granny."

A grin immediately pulled on Regina's lips and she let out a short giggle. "Oh her first great grandchild, I can't imagine the look on her face."

Robin laughed along with her. "Me neither. Remember how she used to hound us when we were married?"

Regina nodded, still chuckling. Every time she'd come to visit, Granny would ask her if she and Daniel had decided to have children yet. Same with Robin and Marian. They'd always have to tell her that the timing wasn't right or the finances weren't in place. She'd probably be so relieved when she discovered that she'd live to see her first great-grandchild be born. It would mean so much to her.

Sitting up, she asked, "Hey… how do you feel about telling her at her birthday this weekend?"

Robin raised his eyebrows, stunned. "So soon? I thought you wanted to wait."

"I did," said Regina, "but now that my family knows I feel like it wouldn't be fair to keep yours in the dark. What do you think?"

Robin shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "I think… it'll be the best birthday present I've ever gotten her."

"Definitely top ten," she agreed, settling back into his arms.

Relishing the warmth of his comfort, and trying to ignore the gnawing feeling inside telling her that she shouldn't be leaning on him this way, Regina snuggled closer to him, letting the pine scent of his t-shirt calm her down.

Not looking up at him she whispered, "How did you know to come over?"

Robin rested his chin on the top of her head. "I always know when you need me."

Her heart stuttered at the certainty of his words, the truth of them. She thought back to all the big moments of her life - the bad, the good, the traumatic - he'd always managed to to be right by her side, exactly where she needed him. Her best friend.

She knew she shouldn't ask for more, knew that they - that she had put rules in place to preserve their friendship but that night she didn't care about the rules. All she cared about was the comfort she derived from his presence, and the calm that came when he was close. Tonight, it was something she couldn't afford to be without.

Licking her lips, she softly asked, "Robin… will you stay with me tonight? I just… can't be alone with my thoughts tonight."

"Of course," he whispered against her hair. "What method of distraction do you want? Movies, jokes or memories?"

She softly smiled. "Scrapbooking."

Rising from his embrace, she walked back into her room and came out with the baby book that had so easily sent her into hysterics just an hour before. Sitting back onto the couch next to him, she flipped to page three.

"'The story of your parents'" read Robin, a smile pulling on his lips. He stared down at the page of a blank journal entry, decorated with hearts.

Regina looked over at him. "I think a walk down memory lane could do me some good."

They stayed up for hours that night, going over their friendship, trying to minimize it to the best and brightest moments of their lives. Head to feet they fell asleep on the couch, the scrapbook still resting in Regina's lap with only one line written down.

_In the summer of 1992, at just seven years old, Mommy met the most important person in her life..._

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_**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!** _


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